SILLIEST THING I'VE DONE # 1 - HAPPINESS IS A WARM GUN

I haven't had a post series for a while and today something happened that has stimulated the idea.
With this -SILLIEST THING I'VE DONE - series there will be no shortage of material so this could go on for ever.

Do you remember that I was having trouble with seagulls eating the bread that I put out for the smaller birds?
If not, never mind as here are some links: HERE   and  AND HERE


After failing to find a spud gun or a slingshot to buy in toy shops and the blowguns proving to be unsuccessful I went to a sporting goods store and asked advice.

ME:   I'm having trouble with seagulls coming on to my deck and eating the food I put out for the  other birds. Have you got something that I can scare them away with?

          SALESMAN: Mate I've got just the thing here - a Beretta Double Barrel 686E Sporter 12                                            gauge. It has 6 chokes, brass snap caps, tools, a cleaning kit and an ammo box ..

ME: Um - no, I want to scare them away not hurt them. Have you got something a little bit less murderous?

After a discussion over several alternatives from Winchesters through .22 repeaters to crossbows we agreed on a paint ball pistol - the Splatmaster 0.50.

This fires soft paintballs that can be loaded into a magazine.

The problem is that the paintballs tend to soften and leak when left in a warm room so I've taken to keeping the loaded gun and the pellets in the fridge.

As it turned out since I bought the pistol I haven't had and visits by seagulls when I've put bread out.  What's that about?

Today good friend Rod called around and after we had a swim and a coffee I showed him my pistol (make of that  Pier Paolo Pasolini what you will) and left it on the kitchen counter after he'd gone.
Later I noticed that in the warmth of the kitchen with the sun streaming in the paintballs had melted and leaked in the pistol. Bummer! I stripped the gun down, threw away the melted pellets and washed the pistol and the magazine. Whilst the pistol and magazine are made of plastic there are some metal components - springs, screws etc and I was concerned that these might rust if not properly dried.
So, what do I do, in a warm kitchen with a sun-drenched deck outside?  I had a good idea.

I chose to put the pistol and the magazine into the oven 'for a few minutes'.

I did this and went into study to see what Richard and Robert were up to on the blogs. Robert was banging on about some idea of heaven and hell that was probably last used in a catholic kindergarten and Richard, to his credit got over his ambition to acquire a huge number of comments and wrote a decent post.

I smelled something funny. Not me as I'd had a shower after the dip in the bay. It was strange.
FUCK! The oven.

I had forgotten about the 'warming of the gun' and tried to rescue it.

No such luck.

The gun was munted. About $70 down the drain. It's lucky that The Old Girl doesn't read my blogs - "Too silly" she says as I'd be getting a right bollocking if she knew.