The Old Girl's cousin, husband and son are staying with us this weekend.
They also brought The Old Girl's aunt who died a couple of months ago. She was in a coffee jar.
The plan was to scatter some of the aunt's ashes in a favourite spot of hers, along our bay. Whenever she would stay with us, the aunt - of considerable age - would head out for a daily walk and sit on a bench seat overlooking the water. She would read a book there or just sit looking at the water, the boats, the occasional stingray and the seagulls. It was her favourite spot.
Last night, after dinner The Old Girl got her mother out (from an urn in a box that hasn't been opened since she died in Scotland 7 years ago) and decanted some of her into the ashes of the aunt. They weren't sisters, they were in-laws but very close (now closer).
This morning we all walked along the road to the bench seat and scattered the combined ashes onto the little pebbly beach. The incoming tide will have washed them away by now.
There was no priest or other religious person present. There were no silly and fatuous words used about god, heaven and an afterlife. It was just a sharing of loss and remembrance of two long lives.
8 comments:
Nice.
"The Old Girl's cousin, husband and son are staying with us this weekend."
Nice of you to put up with your partner's husband staying!
Then she takes some of her mother's ashes and mixes them with a person who is not related but an in law and throws them on a pristine beach. Sure the tide will eventually wash them away but it still is pollution and is it following the wishes of her mother?
Down here throwing ashes away to say a few dollars on a proper burial is frowned upon for good reason.
oh dear!
Being corrected on grammar is like being told by Genghis Khan to tone it down a bit.
The rest is just stupid, insensitive and fucking offensive.
Hey Rob, that's a bit cruel. This was obviously important for these people- a way of dealing with lost loved ones. I honestly thought you'd be above such mockery at a time like this. Sad. Seems that your love for anyone is very conditional.
Sorry Pete.
Thanks Richard.
In a way I understand what Robert was trying to say in the comment and also in his silly and equally offensive blog post where I made a rude (and now deleted) comment.
Scattering the ashes of a whole person willy nilly isn't acceptable but, taking some small amounts of ash (AS WAS INDICATED IN THE POST) and carefully and respectfully distributing in areas that won't be a problem to others can be OK.
Robert's high-handed approach is surprising given his ridiculous catholic 'I love you' posturing but I shouldn't really be surprised because he is forever contradicting himself. His namby pamby christian surface hides a disturbing right wing, white supremacist, anti-women, anti LGBT, anti Muslim, anti - non Christian, anti- socialist and pro-Trump mentality. I don't know where he got this from but I sincerely hope that it doesn't become a problem for him in the future.
I feel compelled to answer this though:
Robert said:
"Then she takes some of her mother's ashes and mixes them with a person who is not related but an in law and throws them on a pristine beach. Sure the tide will eventually wash them away but it still is pollution and is it following the wishes of her mother?
Down here throwing ashes away to say a few dollars on a proper burial is frowned upon for good reason."
Lynn's mother was Lynn's and my close friend and when she died we followed the wishes that she shared with us long before she died. She told us that:
- She wanted to be cremated not buried.
- That she didn't want a church service and no christian or other professional saying platitudes over her.
- That we could take her ashes and dispose of them as we saw fit but ideally in places of mutual interest.
- The 'in-law- was the sister of Lynn's mother's husband and a very close friend.
- When Lynn's mother died we arranged a great (and expensive for your information) send off at the Aberdeen crematorium and, in the 'chapel' or receiving room we had a great many of her friends and family in attendance. Lynn conducted the whole thing, recounting her mother's life in a eulogy that I challenge you, Robert, in trying to get even close to emulate. I was very proud of her. It was stunning. For you to suggest that this was cheap - "Down here throwing ashes away to say (sic) a few dollars on a proper burial is frowned upon for good reason." - is pretty disgusting even for your low standards. Call yourself a Christian? I think you are full of shit.
I wish to correct my earlier comment - written in haste and disbelief.
"oh dear!
Being corrected on grammar is like being told by Genghis Khan to tone it down a bit.
The rest is just stupid, insensitive and fucking offensive."
This should have been written as:
Oh dear!
Being corrected on grammar by Robert is like being told by Genghis Khan to tone it down a bit.
The rest is just stupid, insensitive and fucking offensive.
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