THE CURMUDGEONS INVESTIGATIVE COMMITTEE

 There have been some disturbing posts on the blogs recently so the investigative committee of The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ decided to investigate.

The current committee is comprised of THE CURMUDGEON, THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON AND THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT.  Please note that apart from THE CURMUDGEON the other two committee positions are on a rotational basis and will be changed from time to time.

THE CURMUDGEON: Welcome Curmudgeons. I'm glad that you could make it on such short notice. Welcome to The Curmudgeon's Investigative Committee. This inaugural meeting will be nec.........

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Badges! 

THE CURMUDGEON: What?

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Badges. Do we get badges?

THE CURMUDGEON: Well, I didn't think that we'd need badges but if you want I can get THE MUNDANE CURMUDGEON to run some up. He's got nothing else to do. we ca.......

THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT: I don't want no stinking badges!

THE CURMUDGEON: Wha..? Oh ..... I see what you did there THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT. You are alluding to that film 'The Treasure of the Sierra Madre'. See: HERE

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Ha, ha, very funny you silly old .....

THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT: Don't you dare say that or there will be trouble. It's bad enough that that joker Richard of some busted bag said that. He ...

THE CURMUDGEON: He named you Sally Oldkunt. It's not really the same and doesn't have much effect as it's a pathetic play on names and nobody reads his silly blog anyway. Can we please move on?What have you got on your agenda Sally ... I mean THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT?

THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT: Well, nothing really. That was all that I was going to bring up - that rude old c ... customer down south.

THE CURMUDGEON: (Jeez!) THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON - have you got any issue to bring up?

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: OK, now that we're getting badges - or at least I'm getting a badge - I do have another one. Robert.

THE CURMUDGEON: Who!

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Robert. That guy who is always changing the name of his blog. It's now called MEDIEVIL (sic) BROTHER ROB. You know - the silly - even sillier religious blogger.

THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT: Even sillier than ANGRY JESUS?

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON:THE CURMUDGEON: Yes, even sillier.

THE CURMUDGEON: Even sillier than EVIL DOCTOR RICHARD THE CATHOLIC APOLOGIST?

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Yes, even sillier than that guy who, in fact, is just an add-on to RICHARD"S BASS BAG. He doesn't even have a proper blog. Pathetic.

THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT: Yes, pathetic. And lazy. You'd think that THE RICHARD"S BASS BAG CONSORTIUM could make the effort to get him properly joined up wouldn't you.

THE CURMUDGEON: Look, don't make fun of the dead and dying. That old consortium or confederation or whatever it's called is on its last legs. It'll wither away without us doing anything.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: True.

THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT: True.

THE CURMUDGEON: So ..... what's this Robert guy been doing?

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Oh yeah. Well he's been banging on about religion - catholicism in particular ...... I know, I know, that's nothing new but now he's borrowing big words from the internet and trying to say, by using dodgy philosophical terminology, that god exists.

THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha .

THE CURMUDGEON: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha .

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Yes, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha .

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: And, get this - he's bought himself an old English phone box.

THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT: What? Like Doctor Who's Tardis?

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: No, it's not blue - it's red but we can all hope that he gets in it and gets spirited away to another dimension. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha .

THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT:THE CURMUDGEON: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha .

THE CURMUDGEON: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha . Well, we've run out of time now thanks to that bloody discussion on badges .....

THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT: We don't want your stinking badges. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha .

THE CURMUDGEON: OK, all good, but THE CHASE is on TV in a minute. Safe travels all.