See the gospel stuff here:
Jesus summoned the Twelve and began to send them out two by twoOK, I guess that went unnoticed and uncommented on for generations but, if you look at the strange story from a modern day perspective it's not at all nicey-nicey.
and gave them authority over unclean spirits.
He instructed them to take nothing for the journey
but a walking stick—
no food, no sack, no money in their belts.
They were, however, to wear sandals
but not a second tunic.
He said to them,
“Wherever you enter a house, stay there until you leave.
Whatever place does not welcome you or listen to you,
leave there and shake the dust off your feet
in testimony against them.”
So they went off and preached repentance.
The Twelve drove out many demons,
and they anointed with oil many who were sick and cured them.
The two scruffy guys didn't wait for an answer but instead barged in past Jenny and made themselves comfortable in the lounge.
FIRST GUY: Hey lady! We aint got no food and are hungry. Can you rustle us up some breakfast doll?
JENNY: (flabbergasted) B... b... but you can't just walk in like that. Brian! Brian! Come here quickly.
Brian heard Jenny calling and, grumbling (the sighs and grumbles came involuntarily now at his age as he got up out of chairs), made his way to the lounge
BRIAN: What's up Jen? Who are these guys? They look like musicians.
JENNY: No, they're worse. I think that they're Christians.
BRIAN: Oh shit!
FIRST GUY: Look, cut the crap citizens. We're cold. We're tired. And, we're hungry ... hey! Nice place you have here dudes. I think we'll stay here a while.
BRIAN: Wh ... wh... what? How long do you plan on staying arsehole?
FIRST GUY: Until we leave cunt, that's how long. Now, how about that chow?
BRIAN: You think, arsehole?
Brian produced the Glock 19 he had been holding behind his back. The Glock 19 ranks as the number one best gun for home protection. This pistol is often carried by law enforcement because of its reliable nature. It's a striker-fired, semi automatic weapon with limited recoil.
SECOND GUY: Hey dude - chill! If you're not going to welcome us or listen to what we say then it's on your head man.
The two scruffy guys got up to leave but before going shook all the dust, dirt and shit off their sandals over Jenny's nice shag-pile carpet.
BRIAN: Fuck off and don't come back
JENNY: Oh Brian. Look at the state of the carpet. Bloody Christians.
2 comments:
Ha, ha!
Yeah, bloody Christians.
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