Saturday 23 October 2010

MAD DOGS AND ENGLISHMEN..

Boy its hot here today.

I decided to trim a couple of trees at the front of the house so got out the old chain-saw that hadn't been used for a while and fired it up. I've mentioned before that I'm not much of a handyman but am willing to give anything a go. Propped in one of the trees I was merrily sawing away at a branch when I noticed that my hand was getting wet. looking down I noticed that the vibrations of the machine had unscrewed the petrol cap and, as I had the saw almost upside down, petrol was running down my arm. This, coupled with a hot and most likely out of condition chain-saw was not a good combination. With difficulty I turned it off before I was immolated.

I resumed the job with a saw and a long-handled axe. This was not easy whilst up a tree but I managed to get the job done. I decided that doing stuff like this at midday on a sweltering hot day was not a good idea after all. The trees looked like giant locusts had been eating them but hey, they are now trimmed which was what The Old Girl wanted.
She also wants me to fix the dishwasher. Now where's my hammer?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Glad nothing serious happened.
At least we don't get giant locusts down here. Hate to think what they would do to my broad beans.

Twisted Scottish Bastard said...

Glad to hear you're OK.
Chainsaws scare the sh*t out of me. I know they're useful, but there is just too much power racing around.
And they're noisy.

If the petrol had ignited, think of the scenario:
In shock and horror, you'd drop the chainsaw.
The tree would catch fire.
You would pass-out from the pain. and ne left in the tree.
When the police and firemen arrived, they would have to declare it a case of spontaneous human combustion.
You'd be famous all around the world (admittedly posthumously, but you can't have everything)

Don't forget to unplug the dishwasher before monkeying about with it.
Have fun.

Richard (of RBB) said...

Please leave the dishwasher alone. Please.
Glad you're okay - let's keep it that way.

THE CURMUDGEON said...

"When the police and firemen arrived, they would have to declare it a case of spontaneous human combustion."

Or the god botherers would be convinced I had been struck by lightning for prior blasphemies.

Anonymous said...

I've had an electric chain saw for at least 10 years. It just keeps on going, quietly ripping through trunks and branches.No noise, no petrol, no fumes.

Twisted Scottish Bastard said...

"Or the god botherers would be convinced I had been struck by lightning for prior blasphemies"

They'd have a point.

Why haven't you been hit by a thunderbolt yet?

Whatever happened to Zeus?

Why hasn't Richard [of RBB] been hit by a thunderbolt from Apollo?

Twisted Scottish Bastard said...

"I've had an electric chain saw for at least 10 years. It just keeps on going, quietly ripping through trunks and branches.No noise, no petrol, no fumes."

Exactly.

Where's the fun in that.