RICHARD'S BASS BAG TEMPORARY SITE

Saturday 9th October 5.30AM


Ring ring, ring ring, ring ring, ring ring, ring ring, ring ring, ring ring....


The Curmudgeon: Arghhh hello

Richard (of RBB): You're up? Good. I have an idea for a post.


The Curmudgeon: Whaaa? Whothafuckisthiswassup?


Richard (of RBB): Get it together man, this is important. Take this down...

There once was a crow who had a stable of women, some pretty, some pretty horrible, who wanted to show his townsfolk what they were missing. One day he came up with the good idea to parade his stable down the main street of the town with them showing off their assets. He approached the burghers and said "I am going to 

parade my stable down the main street of the town with them showing off their assets." Some of the burghers said that this is a good idea whilst quietly rubbing themselves via the pockets of their trousers. Other burghers said that this was a bad idea and contravened god's law which said that women should keep their knockers hidden especially in public places because it caused unnecessary thoughts and would lead to licentious behaviour. They also said this whilst 

quietly rubbing themselves via the pockets of their trousers. A vote was made and the resolution to allow the parade was strangely unanimous.

 Mr Crow duly had his parade and the townsfolk were mostly pleased. A few dissenters however were most displeased. Second, a quiet and unassuming dissenter but one who rigourously sticks to his principles jeered and called out from the sideline "Repent ye fornicators. Begone sisters of satan (apt alliteration's artful aid). You must not defile me (I've got clean underpants on)". 

Mr Crow was perturbed and looked around for support from the burghers. They were too busy keeping eyes on the parade (for council purposes) and were assuming casual poses with hands in pockets (albeit cramped ones). Spotting Angry Jesus on the footpath Mr Crow appealed to him for assistance. "Bugger" said Angry Jesus "Just when I thought I was having a day off". "Oh well" he said "Needs must" and glared at Second who was shaking his fists at the biggest and most voluptuous of the paraders. 

"He who casts the first stone.." Angry Jesus said to Second, "You remember the rest I'm sure you God botherer". 

Blushing at having been caught out ogling the paraders and nervously looking about for his wife, Second momentarily forgot his pacifist principles and looked about for a stone to throw at Mr Crow. He couldn't find one as the street sweepers had been and cleaned them all up (which gave Second a professional glow of pride). He chose to throw the only thing he had in his hand, a second-hand copy of Don Quixote. With pin-point accuracy the throw caught Mr Crow on the side of the head, knocking him off the shoulders of the amazon who had been carrying him and brought the parade to a halt. Shaking himself Mr Crow spotted Second and said cryptically "No more credit for you" whatever that meant. Second seemed to understand and melted away into the already dispersing crowd. The moral of this story is "Dont throw stones at crows, let your Cervantes do it for you instead".