OVERREACHING*

I've been a fan of Lee Child's Jack Reacher novels for a long time, enjoying the escapism of the plots and the moral code of the hero Reacher who sorts out bad guts wherever he finds them. The novels are timed for release just before Christmas so they have been a Christmas wish list for the last 20 or more years. The plots have all been unrealistic and Reacher is one of America's most prolific mass murderers but there was always a bit of satisfaction in the plot's conclusion - Job done!

Last year though the latest offering left a lot to be desired. I didn't read it at Christmas for a change but read it for free in May via Overdrive where library books can be downloaded to an iPad.  I didn't like it as I said in my review:

HUNK OF JUNK 2

The latest novel, Past Tense which The Old Girl  bought me for Christmas is no better. 

In it the Reacher character is a cliche and just goes through the motions. There is no extra characterisation as if Lee Child just thinks that he's written all that in the past and can't be bothered anymore.

The other characters are two dimensional and the bad guys are kind of like cardboard cut-outs of the bad guys in the earlier books.

Reacher busts faces, arms and legs of the obligatory big young hired toughs (what has Lee Child - aka James Grant - got against 20-something ex football athletes who are six foot three and 240 plus pounds? Was he beaten up by one once?), stumbles upon a bizarre murder plot and unbelievably solves an old family puzzle.

The by-line on the front of the book say's "We all need Jack Reacher, a righteous avenger for our troubled times". Well, I've got news for the publishers - we don't.

The book boasts an exclusive bonus story Jack Reacher Does Down Under 'an exclusive short story written specially for Australia and New Zealand' which is twenty pages of homicidal rubbish about Reacher travelling to Sydney for 6 hours to murder two people. Absolute twaddle and one suspects that the exact same story with just location details changed is added as 'an exclusive' to readers in various other parts of the world as well.

Sorry Mr Grant but you can do better.

* With apologies to Richard (of RBB) who is an avid Jack Reacher novels fan.

SPOTLIGHT

"I'm up in the spotlight, oh does it feel right
The altitude seems to really get to me.
I'm up on the tightwire linked by life and the funeral pyre
Putting on a show for you to see."

TIGHTROPE

****************************

I love that Leon Russell song - always have but the 'Spotlight' in this blog post is the film I watched last night on Netflix:

Spotlight (2015) is about The Boston Globe chasing up a story of widespread and systemic child sex abuse in the Boston area by numerous Catholic priests. It is a powerful film that highlights how the Church is entrenched in political and social institutions allowing it an ability to get away with crimes. While this pertained to events that happened in the latter part of the 20th century we have seen recently that although the Vatican has recently taken steps to bring offending to light, a lot is still swept under the carpet and there is still a lot of denial by leading church members. See HERE

I hope that Robert and his Catholic friends have seen this film.

SATURDAY'S ADVENTURE

It's a great morning at last - sun, no wind and a calm bay. Perfect for kayaking.

I've got the kayaks and accessories ready (paddles, lifejackets, camera and drinks) and am just waiting for The Old Girl to get back from her run.

We'll paddle over to the other side of the bay and probably go for a swim there, watching out for falling cars. See: HERE


I went kayaking a couple of weeks a go but The Old Girl hasn't been out for a while. I guess that she'll be relying on me to keep an eye on her.

Good luck with that!

THE SMELL OF SAUSAGES COOKING

When I was a kid Christmas holidays for our family were spent on the road travelling up north and staying in holiday camps. We would stay in tourist cabins rather than in a pitched tent probably because my mother at some early stage rebelled against the frantic last minute and unsuccessful tent assembly that most holidaymakers had arguments over.

We holidayed in the Wairarapa, Hawkes Bay, Waikato, Taupo, Rotorua and many places up the West Coast from Wellington. Magic.

The cabins of the 1960s weren't as flash as I imagine the offerings are today but we loved them. If it was all of us - mum, dad, my brother and three sisters, dad would book 2 cabins - a small one for my brother and I and the larger one for the rest. It was a combination of my brother's farts and socks that dictated this I think and my sisters' objections to sharing with him.

The holiday parks had shared ablution and kitchen blocks which I didn't mind at the time but would never consider using nowadays. The shared kitchens were a treat with the hubbub and blended cooking smells at breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I particularly remember the smell of cooking sausages which somehow would drift over the campground and it was a big disappointment if we didn't have some for our tea.

When I was about 14 I was learning to drive and I would practice driving around the campgrounds for hours on end. We had a 1964 Holden EH Special then that I loved.

Normally we hear the sounds of holidaymakers in our bay at this time of year but not so much this time. The weather has been a bit crappy with major rain storms through Christmas so I guess it's put a lot of people off. I love hearing the sounds of kids splashing in the water and diving off the swimming platform.

At least there are no bloody jet skis though.

NEW POST - THE FOOD CURMUDGEON

The Food Curmudgeon has his sights set on some fancy cooking in the early new year and wants to share a recipe with you.

BEEF WELLINGTON

Yum!

NEW POST - THE MUSIC CURMUDGEON

We at The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ don't slack around like other bloggers and believe that even though it's still Christmas, the blogging must go on.

The Music Curmudgeon has discovered something that you will find interesting to watch and listen to  while sitting on your fat arses relaxing during the holidays HERE

DECADENCE

DECADENCE/ˈdɛkəd(ə)ns/
noun - moral or cultural decline as characterized by excessive indulgence in pleasure or luxury.

synonyms:

dissipation, dissoluteness, degeneracy, debauchery, corruption, depravity, loucheness, vice, sinfulness, perversion, moral decay, immorality, lack of morals, lack of principles, lack of restraint, lack of control, lack of self-control, immoderateness, intemperance, licentiousness, wantonness, self-indulgence, hedonism, epicureanism,luxurious self-indulgence.

**********************

So what? It's Christmas Day today.

I know that Robert would prefer that we all ate stale bread and Pak 'n' Save pork roasts, went to Mass three times a day and boycotted the Hutt Valley Mayor's new wharf but fuck it! We're going to indulge ourselves.

This morning when I made my coffee (flat white) I added lashings of  Baileys Irish Cream - a once a year treat and this afternoon, before Christmas dinner we'll open a bottle of Charles Heidsieck vintage Rose. Yum.

It's just the two of us today and, even though we agreed not to do Christmas presents this year The Old Girl still presented me with three. What's that about?

I note that Richard received some musical socks which he modelled on his blog (thank Christ he wasn't given underpants) and Robert seems to have been given a job lot of mousetraps. Each to their own I guess.

*********************

Last evening there was a bit of drama along the bay. We have a volunteer fire brigade with it's station at the end of our road. It has a WW2 air raid warning which alarms in emergencies. Over the last few months there have been about a dozen instances of cars going off the Whangarei Heads Road and at 5PM yesterday one skidded off and ended upside down on the beach at McLeod Bay. I don't know the particular circumstances here and hope no one was badly hurt although an ambulance came along with the fire truck. Normally it is due to lack of care, inattention and not driving to the conditions. Yesterday it was hosing down and there was bugger-all visibility. I felt sorry for the volunteer fire guys called away from family on Christmas Eve to stand in the storm for a couple of hours.

Scene similar to this one

A removal truck hauled the car up before the tide fully came in so hopefully the driver and owner's Christmas won't be as much of a disaster as it might have been.

I just popped a Roses chocolate into my gob while writing that paragraph.

Uncaring? No but decadent - maybe.

CHRISTMAS EVE

Yes, it's Christmas Eve already. I hope that you've got all your presents bought and wrapped and have stocked the fridge with Christmas Day eats. In fact, if you took advantage of those pre-Christmas sales you could have bought another fridge on special and stocked that up as well.

Oh the joys of Christmas.

Richard (of RBB) is getting all excited at the imminent arrival of Uncle Steve who arrives this afternoon. He makes fun of this but we all know that he looks forward to Uncle Steve's arrival all year long. He knows that after Uncle Steve's stories his own ones don't seem half as bad. Richard's cooking a chicken curry this evening for the guests to warm them up for Christmas Day I guess. I hope that the toilet's not broken. BEANS

Robert no doubt will be getting in as much praying and confessing today in preparation for his big day tomorrow. That soul of his will have to be scrubbed cleaner than a clean thing to be ready for Jesus when he arrives. After that he can get on with sinning again knowing that Jesus will be back next year.

At our house we're having no Christmas guests but will have people coming to stay around New Year.
Last night we had the neighbours over for tea and a pool challenge which was fun.

I trust that this has been informative.

NEW POST - THE FOOD CURMUDGEON

The Food Curmudgeon is getting ready for Christmas dinner but already is thinking that sandwiches are a better idea.

BIG CHICKEN

DANCING

I heard the tail end of a music programme on National Radio where New Zealand music of the 1960s was discussed. This was a formative era for me as it was from about 1967 onwards that I started to go out to listen to live bands. Initially this was to church and school dances at the church halls in Newtown and Brooklyn. These events were like socials or school dances really where you went to not only listen to the music but to join in with the girls and do some dancing. This was a very serious affair and ones dance moves had to be planned out in advance ..... nothing ever changes I guess.

THE LETTER

I remember listening to The Dedikation, Rising Sons, Lost Souls, Cheshire Katt and others.

The Dedikation

It was at a Saint Bernard's church dance in Brooklyn in 1967 or 1968 when The Dedikation were playing that I wore the nice new corduroy jacket that my mum had bought for my birthday. Quite naively I took it off and hung it in the cloakroom only to find that some bastard stole it. I hated having to tell mum that when I got home.

Later, when in the 7th form at college and university going out to listen to live music didn't mean going to dances - that was uncool. The music was no longer at church halls but in the 'funky' nightspots of Wellington or at the quadrangles of Victoria university or Wellington polytechnic. It was here that we went to listen to Mammal and the various antecedents and spinoffs, Quincy Conserve,  The Fourmyula and lots of others.

All good fun but as far as I was concerned you could keep the dancing.

NEW POST - THE FOOD CURMUDGEON

Well The Curmudgeons Incⓒ experimented with the new way of posting but has decided to revert to the old.

This morning The Food Curmudgeon has posted with a Christmas and New Year catering theme.

CHRISTMAS SNACKERS

LUCK AND SUPERSTITION

I'm sure that most people have little rituals to do with luck. I know that I do.

Some people read their horoscope every day and some take this further and have full astrological charts drawn up or get a Tarot reading done.

Here are some of the little things that I do that have somehow been instilled in me:

• Touch wood for luck
• Don't put shoes on a table
• Don't sit on a table
• Don't let birds into a house
• Don't open an umbrella inside a house
• Don't look at the full moon through a window until you've seen it outside first
• Bad luck comes in threes
• Find a penny and pick it up for luck

Some of these have cultural meaning as in Maori believed (with good reason) that shoes and arses on a table is unhygienic. Some are pagan in origin and others have been adopted by modern religion where I guess I picked up my little habits from home and school.

Some others that I'm aware of but am not addicted to are:

• Finding your initials on a spider's web is good luck
• Hands tingling -  left money coming in and right money leaving
• Don't let a flag fall or it's bad luck
• Welcome a dog into your house for good luck
• Cat into a house is bad luck
• Meeting up with a cow is good luck (Richard would disagree)
• Grasshoppers and garden insects coming in to house are good luck
• Butterfly flying into house brings important news
• Putting clothes on wrong way around is extreme good luck (Richard and I should be lucky as we grow older then)
• Rainbows or when it rains and the sun is shining is good luck
• Left ear itching nice things right ear bad things
• Bird dropping landing on your head brings wealth
• 666 is the symbol of the devil
• A rabbit's foot will bring you luck
• Black cat's crossing your path brings bad luck
• Don't walk under a ladder
• etc.

There are many more including all of those silly little rituals that Catholics indulge in that have their origins in pagan history.

Some people have lucky charms like that rabbit's foot and others have favourite toys or possessions that they feel will be unlucky to let go of.

I have a frog.

I can't remember exactly when I got my frog but think that it was in the 1980s. My little frog (no name) joined me after there was a spate of burglaries in the house I lived in on a farm in Papatoetoe in the early 1980s - 14 burglaries in about 11 months. This got to the point where insurance companies wouldn't insure us and the police were unable to do anything. I used to go home for lunch several times each week on random days at random times but was never able to catch anyone. I had a baseball bat and was fully prepared to use it. The problem started when the new motorway was being built which went next to the farm. This obviously created a walking link from Mangere which lasted while the motorway was being built. Once the motorway was built which took about a year the burglaries stopped as it's illegal to walk or cycle along motorways. 

I of course attribute the cessation of the burglaries to the acquisition of my frog.

The little frog has had prime position in the hallways of the various houses I've lived in since. It keeps a sharp lookout on the front and or back doors. When we were overseas for a couple of years the frog stayed behind keeping an eye on our furniture and valuables that were in a storage garage,

He did a great job. I trust my frog.

IF I WERE A CARPENTER ....

IF I WERE A CARPENTER - TIM HARDIN

I've liked this song from the first time I heard it and have heard different versions by Tim Hardin.

The song's been covered by many others including Bob Seger, Joan Baez, Robert Plant, Bobby Darin and Johnny Hallyday who had a French hit with it as "Si j'étais un charpentier".

***************

So, why a carpenter?

It's not because it's Christmas and because Robert's pals peddle this myth about Jesus having been a carpenter. No, it's because Richard posted about doing house repairs - more exactly house scraping and painting. He seems to be forever doing this but this time has taken his good lady's advice and has got some professionals in to do the job which means that it might endure for more than a couple of years.

Whenever I threaten to do some handiwork around the house The Old Girl says "get a man in".

This of course can be damaging to frail egos but in my case it gives me a chance to slack off so I don't mind. We''ve got an old house though that needs maintenance so I'll have to get off my arse especially as the weather is coming right. We had an entire new roof put on a couple of years ago so that should last us out. I'm hoping that we won't need to repaint the house. It was done before we bought it 10 years ago and still looks OK. Window frames and  pieces here and there will need touching up and even some timber bits replaced.

This along with the deck that needs some board replacements and improvements means that I wish I were a carpenter.

I could take The Old Girl's advice and get a professional in though.

HOWDY*

Yesterday when we were walking a passerby said hello.
I didn't take much notice but The Old Girl said that it wasn't a very friendly hello.
I asked her what she meant and she said that the 'hello' was perfunctory and lacking in any real warmth.

We live in a semi-rural area where people do acknowledge others on the roadside as opposed to Auckland and I guess other cities in NZ.

Maybe the woman was recently from Auckland and hasn't yet adjusted.

*This post brought to you by The Cultured Curmudgeon

NEW POST - RIGHT AS RAIN

Well why not since Robert's been banging on about the Catholic Catechism and its virtues even while there's a backdrop of priests, brothers, bishops and cardinals being exposed and prosecuted for kiddy fiddling

PAAAARTY TIME!

WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE SPIDERS?

We own an old house. It's a villa built originally in 1910. It has high ceilings, sash windows and lots of nooks and crannies. It attracts spiders. The spiders build little webs in mostly high and hard to get corners like in the hallway.

The Old Girl is always telling me to use the extendible duster when I'm doing the cleaning so that I can clear out the corners in the ceiling. Now I like a tidy house even if she and I differ in our interpretations of cleanliness and so I try to oblige. I don't like to do any harm to spiders though.

This isn't to say that I don't harbour any ill-will to some of them. See : SPIDER

There are other insects that I don't like also especially cockroaches, fleas, mosquitos, wasps and flies and every now and then I set off a couple of those insect bombs in the house (hoping that the spiders who live high up can get away from the spray).

This morning while making a cup of tea I was looking at a spider who has made a web on the inside of the kitchen window.

It's halfway down the sash window so within reaching distance of The Old Girl. I've managed so far to distract her (I made her a cup of tea) but this won't last forever. I'm going to have to move this spider to the outside and the little guy will have to build his (or her) web all over again.

The things we have to do in the country.

S.O.B.S.

I picked the Old Girl up from the bus this morning and on the way home I told her about the incident at the tennis club as mentioned in the previous post. She asked if I was going to stay in the club or not. I said that I'd see how my boycotting plan went and if it was unsuccessful I might give tennis a miss.

"Like the bowls then" she said. I gave her a look.

She was referring to the fact that at the end of last year I joined a local bowling club only to retire from it later this year because I didn't like the committee in-fighting.

"And the local Whangarei Heads club" she said. I gave her another look.

Last weekend I attended a special meeting of the local club which is kind of like a Cosmopolitan club, which had been called because the current president and committee who had only been elected two months ago, have resigned. There are all sorts of problems going on between different factions and it's not a happy place. The meeting turned acrimonious so I walked out and decided not to renew my membership.

"And the Citizens Association" she said. I gave her a third look.

At Christmas last year I resigned from the committee of the local Citizens Association as I did not want to serve on the committee alongside another member who has a 'past'.

See: A MORAL DILEMMA


At this stage the Old Girl was quiet on the drive and then she said:

"Maybe you should found your own club. Something like The Sad Old Bastards Society - S.O.B.S. for short."

I was flabbergasted.

It reminded me of Ivor Cutler and his skit on The Friendless Society.

Have a listen to this audio clip:



THE FRIENDLESS SOCIETY

PLAYING THE GAME

I went back to tennis today for the first time in over 2 months since I had my knee surgery.

It was a perfect day for tennis with no wind and cloud that didn't allow sunstrike. It was OK and I soon got my rhythm back bit I could see that most of the other players had improved a bit while I was away.

There's one guy there who fancies himself a bit and who no-one likes to play with. You can see the disappointment on their faces when it's his turn to come on. We have a system where on the two courts we have two separate games going of four players. One game is played after which the server goes off to the sideline and everyone else moves around one spot until they each get to be server. The people on the sideline wait for a server change and, of it's their turn join in on either court at the number four position.

This guy I mentioned is a pushy, bumptious type who likes to win at all costs. He smashes the ball at opponents whether they are close to the net or not and whether they are men or women.
The guy is a dick.



In one match I was near the net when I mishit the ball which drifted up high and slow dropping just in front of this dick.  I was stranded. All he had to do was gently lob it over my head or place it easily either side of me. He chose to drive it right at me.  Hard.

I just managed to flinch and slightly move so that instead of hitting me in the face or the throat the ball hit my shoulder. I threw my hands in the air and asked him what he thought he was doing. I said that it was an unnecessary and stupid stroke. I served next and then left the court. I picked up my phone and car keys and left the tennis club.


If I go back next week I know what I'll do. I will refuse to join a court that this dick is playing on and, if I'm already on a court that he joins I'll stop playing and go to the sideline to await a place on the other court.

I'm not the only person who this dick has hit so with luck some of the others might get the idea and we can boycott him

ABIDING IN THE FIELDS*

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

As Christmas is only a week and a half away I thought that some insights into the birth of Jesus might be of interest.

I (The Religious Curmudgeon) was going to write something but have started watching I don't feel at home in this world anymore which is  a great little film with Melanie Lynskey and Elijah Wood in it made by Macon Blair in a Wes Anderson style. Great.

I'm just having a break for a cup of tea. I remembered a Peter Cook and Dudley Moore sketch on Jesus, the shepherds and the gospels so trawled and found it on the internet. Here it is for your enjoyment for as long as it stays before it gets removed as sometimes happens.

JESUS

* Post brought to you my The Religious Curmudgeon

ENTROPY*

THE CURMUDGEON EXPRESS

Entropy: lack of order or predictability; gradual decline into disorder.



We've always suspected that Robert is a bit of a nutter as evidenced by his bizarre religious witterings in his occasional posts on his frequently disappearing blogs. The latest blog incarnation is NOTHING TO DO WITH RELIGION which is a lie. In the latest post on this blog Robert informs us that he has installed a crazy religious sign on his garden shed that is visible to passers-by.

The sign says:

"Jesus said I am the living bread that came down from heaven; if anyone eats of this bread he will live forever ... if he eats my flesh and drinks my blood he will have eternal life"

Obviously the quote is only applicable to men. Perhaps women are far too sensible to believe this hogwash.


People who put up hand-written signs in their front sections are crazy.



* Brought to you by The Curmudgeon Express.

KEEPING AHEAD

THE CURMUDGEON

We've noticed that Richard's Bass Bag, following a long run of mediocre posts and falling viewer numbers has decided to copy The Curmudgeons Incⓒ's innovative blog linking whereby the individual blog members post separately and provide a link to the posts on the central THE CURMUDGEON blog.

Well we at The Curmudgeons Incⓒ* have been concerned that our blog readers, due to laziness and perhaps some degree of stupidity, sometimes fail to connect (via the easy and state-of-the- art connectivity) to the Curmudgeons Incⓒ blogs. We have decided to trial a new method of posting which, over the busy Christmas and New Year period will enable readers to quickly follow new posts without having to connect to the individual blogs.

The individual blogs will remain in existence but will be temporarily parked during this period. Posts will be written and published on the central THE CURMUDGEON blog but will have a reference to the individual blogger identity by use of the blogger's image.

Look out for new posts.

*Putting innovation into blogging

WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG

The following clip is from a really good British film Flashbacks of a Fool (2008). 

IF THERE'S SOMETHING

The scene is stunning and really captures well the sense of memory and nostalgia (the film is about a fading Hollywood star looking back at the days of his youth as he returns home for his best friend's funeral).

The trigger for me looking for this and finding it on Youtube was something Richard said tonight in his latest post which was a kind of eulogy for a very old friend of his who has just died.

I was also reminded of some lines from T.S. Eliot's The Waste Land

     

April is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.

As a balance here's a clip of the final scene from the film.

WHEN WE WERE YOUNG

 .

BREAKING NEWS - SHAKE UP AT RICHARD'S BASS BAG

We have just learned that Richard's Bass Bag and its associated spin-off blogs is on the brink of collapse.

See: HERE

We at The Curmudgeons Incⓒ have seen this coming for some time and it is with some pride that we can say that the success of our incorporation with it's tight cluster of relevant and informative blogs has put pressure on Richard's Bass Bag and have been instrumental in this collapse.

That said, we take no pleasure in the problems that other bloggers in the community have (unless we are talking of Robert's blog of course) and offer our condolences along with some helpful hints for reconstruction.

We have critiqued Richard's Bass Bag before. See HERE

and were concerned at a possible revolt in the ranks. See THE KING IS DEAD


It's good that Richard is facing up to the problem and we may see a revamped blog group after he gets his team together for an urgent discussion.

Let's hope that they don't take the camp thing too far.

NEW POST - THE WINE GUY

The Wine Guy has a new Post on half bottles of wine here.

I'LL 'AVE AN 'ALF

Half bottles of wine are probably an unknown and incomprehensible notion to Richard and Robert whose main criteria for wine purchasing is how much volume you can get for the least possible cost but .......

DIZZY

Not Dizzy Gillespie - nice hat though

I went to an appointment at the cardiac centre at the hospital yesterday and they confirmed that I'm in AF which is atrial fibrillation, the main cause of the stroke I had a few weeks back.

It caused a bit of urgent activity which surprised me as I didn't know I was in AF - I'd gone to the appointment just expecting a check-up. Admittedly I had felt a bit dizzy a few days earlier and thought it was just a side effect of the medication I've been taking.



The outcome is that they've increased the medication I'm to take and I'm on a heart measurement holter for a couple of days.

They will analyse the readings to see if the increased medication has reduced the heart irregularity and adjust up or down (most likely up) accordingly.

It's nice to know that our hospital services are on to it.

More power (and funding) to them I say.

NEW POST - THE MUSIC CURMUDGEON

The Music Curmudgeon has found another song for Christmas Day.

CANDYMAN

A VIRTUAL CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR RICHARD

When checking The Wine Guy blog to see what I wrote last Christmas I found this that seems just right as a gift for Richard.

I doubt if I'll be able to buy the actual product to send though.

NEW POST - THE WINE GUY

In the interest of keeping the blog world interesting The Wine Guy has written a post detailing what alcohol purchases he is considering for the festive season.

To be riveted go to:

PLANNING FOR CHRISTMAS CHEER

.

NEW POST - THE FOOD CURMUDGEON

The Food Curmudgeon has written a post that's only marginally less wet than Richard's latest offering.

GETTING READY FOR CHRISTMAS

NEW POST - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

The Religious Curmudgeon has been checking out films to watch after Christmas lunch and has this to recommend in his latest post:

SATAN'S ALLEY

NEW POST - THE MUSIC CURMUDGEON

The Music Curmudgeon is getting ready for December festivities:

PREPARING FOR CHRISTMAS

NEW POST - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

The Religious Curmudgeon has some important questions to ask Robert. These are in his latest Post:


MAKING ASSUMPTIONS (AND ASCENSIONS)