DUM DE DUM

Inspired by:

http://ondemand.tv3.co.nz/Target-Season-13-Ep-27/tabid/59/articleID/4529/MCat/21/Default.aspx

And Nuova Lazio indiscriminate traffic ticketing.

Lower Hutt City Council Traffic Fines Department after hours telephone contact officer: "Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring ring ring  ....."

Richard (of RBB) 's residence: "Dum de dum de dum de dum  (some unbelievably boring noise for about 20 seconds - ed) .. we'e not here right now, leave a message .... dun de dum de dum..."

Lower Hutt City Council Traffic Fines Department After Hours Telephone Contact Officer: "Hello. Hello. Hello. Damn it. They're never fucki... Oh, hello. its Officer Dmitri Petrokonovich here from the Lower Hutt City Council Traffic Fines Department after hours Department. I'm your Lower Hutt City Council Traffic Fines Department after hours telephone contact officer. (Oh fuck it, see :
http://grumpyoldmanreturnsnz.blogspot.com/2011/09/aaaaa.html 


 and now, after typing out all this I'm happy to acronymise it  to LHCCTFDAHTCO- ed). You haven't paid your traffic fines and I'm calling you to advise that if you cannot give me a credit number authorisation for you fines immediately then we will proceed with court action."

Richard of RBB: "Whaa?"

LHCCTFDAHTCO: " I said that as you have accumulated a significant number of traffic fines we are now going to take court action unles you give me your credit card details immediately and clear the fines thus saving all of us a lot of unnecessary trouble."

Richard of RBB: "Whaa?"

LHCCTFDAHTCO: " Are you Richard (of RBB) residing at 10075 PineTree Falling Place Nuova Lazio?"

Richard of RBB: "Whaa? Oh, yes ..whaaa?"

LHCCTFDAHTCO: "And are you the owner of a 2008 McLaren F1, blue coloured with the registration number FKURINGO?

Richard of RBB: "Whaa? Oh! No, whaaa?"

LHCCTFDAHTCO: "And my records show that you have accumulated 127 parking infringement notices in and around Nuava Lazio shopping mall parked most often on the handicapped reserved parking area outside of the Pink Pussy Gentleman's Speciality Entertainment Club"


Richard of RBB: "Whaa? Oh! No, whaaa?"


LHCCTFDAHTCO: "And furthermore our traffic speed cameras have recorded you travelling at excess of 287 kilometres per hour on several occasions all of which have been travelling away from Nuava Lazio High School"

Richard of RBB: "Whaa? Oh! No, whaaa?"


LHCCTFDAHTCO: "And our roving traffic patrols have recoreded you as holding up traffic on at least 75 times in the morning because you have been travelling at less than 15 kilometers per hour . On all of these occasions you have been travelling towards Nuava Lazio High School"


Richard of RBB: "Whaa? Oh! No, whaaa?"


LHCCTFDAHTCO: " Have you anything to say about this?"


Richard of RBB: "Wh...... no, its a fair cop. How much do you want?"