Saturday 8 June 2019

NEVER LET THE TRUTH GET IN THE WAY OF A GOOD STORY

A few months ago I signed up for a creative writing course but had to abandon it as I was having debilitating migraine headaches.

One of the exercises that the course demanded was to write two or three scenarios with at least one being total fabrication and the other one or two being based on an actual event that you had experienced. It was up to fellow classmates to decide between the fact and the fantasy.


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I used the above image from the film Tolkien which I saw yesterday (well worth seeing) as Tolkien, when in WW1 had trench fever and apparently, in the middle of battle saw disturbing images that he no doubt used in his Lord of the Rings fantasy.

As I swore off writing posts on religion or commenting on Robert's religious ravings there is a void in my blog now so I thought I'd fill it with a bit of fantasy.

Here are three anecdotes. Not all of these are true. It is up to you, if you wish and a comment or two doesn't strain you, to decide which is true and which is false.

A night at the club

The Old Girl stayed in Auckland this weekend so, after going into town to see the Tolkien film and doing the weekly supermarket shop it was after 7PM by the time I neared home. Not wanting to prepare dinner at this time I drove on another half a mile to the 'club' - the local Cosmopolitan-style community club that I'm a member of. I normally don't frequent it much as The Old Girl isn't a fan of it and I find it a bit dull. There is a good restaurant though and I ordered 'fish of the day' which was fresh (really fresh) terakahi, chips and salad. Yummy. At the table next to me was a young family - mum, dad and two kids who were finishing up their meal as I waited for mine. I noticed that the kids had fish and chips with lovely looking golden chips that they scoffed. My meal arrived with the terakahi fillets stacked high on a pile of nice chips with a fresh salad and bowls of sauces (tartare and tomato) next to them. It looked great. As I started to tuck in one of the kids at the next table got up and came over to my table. He was about 4 or 5. He looked at my meal and asked for a chip. His mother looked across to me and said that he likes the look of my chips and could he have one. I looked at her then back to the kid and said "No, go away".

This can be one of life's little lessons for this greedy kid who obviously hasn't been taught boundaries.


Taking it back

In the supermarket I was frustrated as usual at the inconsideration shown by some people with the way that they manoeuvre their shopping trolleys and 'park' them in the middle of the aisle while selecting goods. One woman did this several times and on the third or fourth occasion I moved her trolley to the side and said something like "How hard was that?" She glared at me and I carried on.
At the checkout she was next behind me. I loaded up the conveyor putting heavy stuff first and light and fragile stuff last. The operator filled my bags, I paid and headed off out of the store. As I was going to the carpark I heard a frantic banging on the window and looked up to see the inconsiderate woman summoning me back to the counter and pointing to something I'd left. It was the treat I'd bought for myself as The Old Girl isn't here this weekend - a delicious New York- style cheesecake that the check-out operator had kept back because it was crushable but had forgotten to put it at the top of one of the bags. I thanked the inconsiderate woman and made my way out again.


Double the goodies

I ordered some wine earlier in the week. An on-line wine company were promoting one of NZ's best chardonnays at way less than usual. As this is still out of my price range ($39 a bottle down from $58) I only ordered 6 bottles and made up the dozen with 4 bottles of Californian chardonnay ($19.99) for The Old Girl which she likes and two bottles of another superb chardonnay which we both like ($69). By Thursday the wine hadn't arrived and I checked the credit card details and saw that there had been no payment debited. I went to the on-line website and processed the order again, this time with a different Californian chardonnay as the previous one was sold out ($24.99). On Friday a case of wine arrived - the first one ordered and today the second one arrived today. One order total is $443 and the other $480. Bloody hell! Still, as The Old Girl says - we only live once. I'll try a bottle tonight - Mountford Estate 2014 chardonnay.





5 comments:

Robert and the Catholics said...

That was rather long winded and I'll abbreviate it for Richard.

1. Peter told a little child asking for a chip of his plate to go away.
2. Peter had to write a story so stole an idea from Tolkein.
3. Peter was rude to a nice lady at the supermarket.
4. Peter wasted about $1000 on wine.

THE CURMUDGEON said...

Reading skills fail again Robert.

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"Peter told a little child asking for a chip of (sic) his plate to go away."

The child was a little goblin bastard.

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"Peter was rude to a nice lady at the supermarket"

The woman at the supermarket was an old troll.

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"Peter wasted about $1000 on wine"

$923 actually and that included delivery costs.

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" Peter had to write a story so stole an idea from Tolkein."

Not in the post but may have 'borrowed' some ideas in the comments.






Richard (of RBB) said...

The story about the kid wanting a chip was my favourite. I loved your response. The mother should have stopped the little shit.

Richard (of RBB) said...

What the fuck does Robert think of himself if he has to abbreviate stories so that I will understand them? Wanker.

THE CURMUDGEON said...

I guess it'll be a hot time on Facebook tonight.