SCHISM

Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring ....

THE CURMUDGEON: Hello.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Hello is that TC?

THE CURMUDGEON:THE CURMUDGEON:Who is this?

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: It's TRC. Why don't you answer the phone properly?

THE CURMUDGEON: TRC? OK. It sounds like you. Have you been drinking?

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: No, why?

THE CURMUDGEON: Doesn't matter. I don't answer the phone with my name anymore because of those scam and phishing phone calls. If you answer with your name they're halfway there. They match your name with the phone number they rang and next minute they've got your bank account details and have sold you a Ukrainian bride and invested in a Nigerian prince's inheritance plan ....

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Have you been drinking?

THE CURMUDGEON: No, why? Well actually I've had a glass of the Novum pinot noir that The Old Girl left in the fridge after the weekend. Normally she drinks the whole bloody lot herself over the three days but this morning she had to fly to Wellington and we had to be at the airport at 6AM so she had to have an early night which meant that I had to have an early night and I set the alarm at 5AM but she also set her alarm at bloody 4.30 AM so .....

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: ..... Whoa whoa .... down boy.

THE CURMUDGEON: OK. What do you want?

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: I read your last post.

THE CURMUDGEON: Whoopdy-do. What do you want?

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Well ........ You know what my name is don't you?

THE CURMUDGEON: Of course. So?

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: And you know what my role is?

THE CURMUDGEON: Yes - exposing the idiocies of religion with Robert's rantings in particular. So?

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Well ........ You kind of just closed that down didn't you? 

THE CURMUDGEON: Well, it was kind of due. The whole stupid thing was being stretched out for no good reason other than giving Robert a platform for his blog posting.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON:  Yes but don't you realise that this religion thing is totally on-going? It gives me a raison d'etre  kind of like all of those American news channels that wouldn't exist if it wasn't for that buffoon Donald Trump.

THE CURMUDGEON: OK but I want to move on.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: (sotto voce)  Fuck! Look, you said that you would give up on religion unless there was some pressing news relating to the topic. Yes?

THE CURMUDGEON: Yes, so?

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Have you read the news or listened to Radio NZ today?

THE CURMUDGEON: Yes.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Well ........ have you heard about that silly Destiny Church political party and their spat with Georgina Beyer over their cynical apology to the LGBT community?

THE CURMUDGEON: Yes I heard it. I like old Georgina ...... well when I say 'like' I mean that I respect her, sorry him, sorry .... well you know what I mean.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Yes. yes yes (that sounds a bit like Robert) - this is gold matey, gold. We have to write posts and field comments on this, We have to....

THE CURMUDGEON: ...... you know that Robert has likely bailed out. I kind of gave him the sack as a commenter you know.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Yes. You should have consulted me on that, but we still have Richard. You know, that guy who runs Richard's Bass Bag which is reputed to be the original bass bag.

THE CURMUDGEON:  Don't believe those press releases and advertising and anyway - he's bailed as well. It's just you and me ( and the other Curmudgeons inc.ⓒ personalities).

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Bugger .....

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