LOST IN TRANSLATION

It being another nice day today, I decided to walk to the Eastgate Mall this morning to get a haircut and to buy ingredients for tonight's meal (smoked salmon pizza).

The distance should have been about 5kms and I calculated it taking just over an hour. I'd been to this mall before, last year but then went by bus. I set off on what I assumed was the bus route. Somehow I strayed off the 'path' and, after walking for nearly 2 hours realised that I was in the city. This would have been about an 8 and a half kilometre walk. I went to a cafe for a coffee and a sandwich and on leaving asked the proprietor for directions to the Eastgate Mall. She is Japanese and I discovered that it was difficult to understand her version of English. She took out her iPhone - a larger and more modern version than mine and, after shrinking and expanding images and rotating a map every which way she delightedly said 'Bingo' or its Japanese variant and pointed me off in some direction. It was a direction that I hadn't anticipated but, given that I was the one who was lost and she 's the one who lives here I put my trust in her directions. It turned out that this was a bad idea as this lovely Japanese woman wouldn't know the difference between Katmandhu and Kataia. "She accompanied me out the door and pointed vaguely saying "yes, yes". Maybe she thought that I was making her cafe untidy and was deterring other customers from coming in. Anyway, she shooed me off and went back inside. I walked in the direction she indicated.

And walked.

And walked.

After about 45 minutes I decided that this was no good and found a shady spot to be able to read my own iPhone and the maps function. Now I'm a bit of a Luddite and rarely use this App. After a lot of fiddling about I managed to get a Google map active and discovered that the Eastgate Mall was in nearly the opposite bloody direction that I'd been walking. Sheesh! Or, シーシュ Shīshu! in Japanese.

I set the location I wanted and set off watching the tiny screen on the phone (note to self: I must upgrade this to a bigger and more recent model). I walked for about 15 minutes before realising that I'd been following the directions on the phone in reverse. Sheesh! (English version). Rectifying this I set off again and a voice came from the phone (at last) telling me that it would be a 50 minute walk. I doubled my pace just to show this bloody phone and got to the mall in just over 30 minutes. I was hot and bothered and my feet were sore. I entered the mall and went first to the toilets to dry my face from sweat and to generally freshen up before getting the haircut. Once I felt that I looked respectable I searched for the hairdresser I had used last year. She did a good job in so far as anyone can tidy up my diminishing strands of hair - but it does grow profusely at the back and sides. I searched and searched and eventually discovered that the closed and shuttered 'shop' in the mall was where the hairdresser had operated last year. Another small business casualty - not unlike me.

I went to the Woolworths and bought my pizza provisions then went to a nearby bus stop. After only a 10 minute wait the right bus came along and delivered me (free courtesy of Gold Card) to the bus-stop a few metres away from the house we are staying in.

I had a shower and then a lie down watching Olympics highlights on TV.

I worked out that I must have walked about 14 kms on this jaunt and can feel it in my old bones and joints. Still, all exercise is good though but tomorrow I think I'll just stick to the buses.

We're off to Dunedin tomorrow evening for three days.

Sayonara.