GOLF IS DANGEROUS

I played golf this afternoon - or, part of the afternoon.
All was going well. I played a few holes and fossicked in the creeks and grass and found 8 golf balls. Good ones.

On the 9th hole I hit the best tee shot I've ever hit on that hole. It was dead straight and went a long way to the green on this challenging par 4.
I crossed the bridge dragging my trundler behind me and looking at the creek I thought:

"OK, just a quick look I've got time, there's no-one behind me"

I started to climb down the bank to the creek and my right foot went through grass to - nothing. I started to overbalance and put my left foot down hard but as my right foot had stretched out below I toppled and started to go down. Pain shot up my left leg from 3 sources - toes, ankle and knee.
I lay down in the grass for a while trying to establish what injury I'd done. My toes were painful as they had bent backwards and I felt like I'd sprained at least the big toe. My ankle was very painful and I assumed that I'd sprained it and hoped that I hadn't broken it. My knee was painful and I assumed that I'd twisted it.

After a while I dragged myself up the bank and leaned on my golf cart while testing my leg for strain and pain points. I couldn't put much weight on the foot and so had to use a golf umbrella as a kind of crutch to make my way to the clubhouse and carpark. Luckily I was on the 9th fairway which is next to the clubhouse and not on the 13th which is the furthest away and which I'd been on about twenty minutes earlier. As it was the 200 metre walk, hobbling and dragging the trundler took me about half an hour. I had to abandon the excellent tee shot as I couldn't complete the hole (I retrieved the golf ball though - the little detour took another 5 minutes).

The golf course was deserted and the clubhouse was shut so there was no-one to assist me.
Fortunately the little car I have is an automatic so I was able to drive home. I've soaked in the bath for a while watching the swellings come up. Big toe yes definitely sprained. Ankle is swollen but I don't think damaged. The knee is badly swollen and is very painful. I can't put any weight on it at all.

The Old Girl is in Auckland and this weekend will bring the crutches she has for recovery after her hip operation. I wish I had them with me now. I've tried to manufacture some from brooms but they slip on the floor and I don't want to do any further damage. I've worked out that sitting on a computer chair that has wheels I can manoeuvre my way around the house which is helpful. I've taken a Naproxen tablet, one of the powerful nasties I had for Shingles last Christmas. Hopefully this will start to reduce the pain and swelling.

I've decided that if there's no improvement by the morning I'll go to the emergency doctors. I guess I won't be playing my usual Thursday tennis tomorrow.

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When I was talking to The Old Girl on the phone and told her what I'd done she immediately asked if I did it when looking for golf balls. I had to confess yes and she gave me a telling off. I have several hundred golf balls now and it annoys hell out of her when I bring more home.