FOUND THEM

Regular readers will be pleased to know that we* have found some recordings of the albums featured in the previous post.

Enjoy.


JESUS USE ME



THE MINISTERS QUARTET



MY LIPS ARE FOR BLOWING






* THE CURMUDGEONS INC.ⓒ believing in being thorough and following through.

CHRISTIAN MUSIC

Richard (of RBB) wrote that Robert's posts have been deleted again HERE

I'll take his word for it.
Next to go no doubt will be the entire blog although, given it's simple construction, knocking it down won't take much effort. Maybe he'll build a new one. Who knows. Who cares.

It will leave a void though, one which will need filling to cater to the religious nutters out there who are looking for spiritual guidance.

I'll see if I can help.

****************

Religious people like singing. In the USA alone nearly 20% of all published and recorded music is labelled Christian/Gospel. That's a lot and is only the labelled-as-such stuff. An awful (and I do mean awful) lot of other stuff is religious tainted oriented but goes under the guise of Country, Latin, Rock, Pop or Alternative.

In this Post I've selected a few 'must-listen-to' albums for the religious nutters religion-oriented people to listen to:

1. THE FAITH TONES

The Faith Tones album JESUS USE ME is a staple for any good Christian's collection.

This 'rock-along' LP includes some instant classics like 'Cover Me Holy Ghost In Your Sacred Stuff', 'Miraculously Impregnate Me Archangel Michael' and 'I'd Do Anything For You God. Anything'.

2. THE MINISTERS QUARTET

The Ministers Quartet will have instant appeal to current and lapsed Marist Brothers and will have resonance with many of ex-Marist school pupils. The lively rendition of 'Let My Fingers Do The Walking' will bring tears to your eyes. Seriously, it'll bring tears to your eyes.

My favourite is 'Let The Hand Of Jesus Slip Up Your Shorts' with it's clever harmonising and with Fat Freddy Blomquist making interesting 'Ooo - eee' sounds as a counterpoint.

3. SVETLANA GRUEBBERSOLVIK

Svetlana Gruebbersolvik really nails it though with her interestingly titled album MY LIPS ARE FOR BLOWING. Svetlana, a good and virginal Christian woman demonstrates that she can be 'hip' with lively renditions of 'Is That A Clarinet In Your Pants Minister', 'The Blueballs Of Scotland' and a cover version of 'Let My Fingers Do The Walking'.

******************

Have a listen to these dear readers and I will bring up bring you updates of new titles as I find them.

May the Holy Spirit be in you, on you, with you - you know what I mean.

ROBERT, LOOK AWAY NOW

The National Party has chosen its frontrunners and the winners are...... Simon Bridges and ...... fuck it ...... the SS* Paula Bennett.

Hey I'm OK with Bridges as I've looked on him as a possible star and hope that he lives up to the promises. He's been around for a while coming to Parliament 10 years ago like PM Jacinda Ardern and has experience in some heavy portfolios - labour, energy, economic development and transport .
Bridges is Maori or at least enough of a Maori to claim it

“New Zealanders deserve better than a government that is merely muddling along. My focus is on ensuring New Zealand continues to be a place of great opportunities and aspiration for everyone,” said Bridges in his first press conference as leader.

OK, yes, good for him and I don't want a government that's  "muddling along" although I think that he's been in one under MR MUDDLE John Key for a number of years.

I'm excited about the prospect of a 'First Maori Prime Minister' that the Nats spin merchants are touting (conveniently forgetting that one of our greatest PMs, Norman Kirk was part Maori). Hey, I'm sure that if I trawl through my ancestry I can find some Maori blood. How much do I need? A 16th? 32nd? 64th? I can provide English, Scottish, Welsh, French, German, Samoan and Irish as well if that helps.

I'm less happy about the fat slug Bennett as discussed HERE has been allowed to stay on as Deputy Leader of The Opposition. What are they thinking? Is National so desperate to secure Maori support that they feel that they have to tag on Bennett to Bridges to spearhead a brown assault on labour and Ardern who did so well at Waitangi (Robert, look away now).

Time will tell




* SS = 'Stomach Stapled'

NEVER LET TRUTH GET IN THE WAY OF A GOOD STORY# 3 - PROPERTY MAINTENANCE

I'm a perfectionist. I like to have everything in order both inside and outside the house. My partner, The Old Girl thinks that I'm an obsessive-compulsive.

I can't sit still and leave a job half done and am forever tidying up, mending things, mowing lawns and trimming hedges.

Recently I've taken to picking out with tweezers the grass and weeds that sprout up in our gravel driveway.

It's all worth it though as it's nice to have a tidy property.

HI HO, HI HO

We've had another fine day up North today.

Here's a pic I took from bed this morning as we had a bit of a lie-in.

The Old Girl is up here (going to Ak tomorrow) and we may yet go for a swim.

I'm hoping that the sky stays clear as tonight, at 1 minute to 9 Whangarei Heads time the NASA space station will be visible:

NASA

I went for a great walk this morning before it got too hot. Tomorrow I'll play tennis and Wednesday morning bowls. Later in the week I'll get some golf in although I think that the weather is going to crap out again.

I'm doing this flurry of activity - including having a lie in - as today I applied for a job. There's only a slim chance that I'll get it as no one (other than schools and Parliament) want to hire old jokers nowadays but who knows? If I get it (28 hours per week) it will seriously cut into my leisure time.

IN TROUBLE AGAIN

I'M IN TROUBLE AGAIN

The Old Girl is up here until Tuesday. She did the washing today and, as she was about to hang it out I heard a loud GRRRRRRR coming from the laundry. I'd left some tissues in the pocket of my shorts - AGAIN. The paper disintegrates and little flecks cover all the towels and other washing in the machine.

I'M IN TROUBLE AGAIN.

It's really good having her here each weekend as it gets a bit lonely during the week when she's in Auckland but on the weekends, especially extended weekends she invariably finds fault with things I've done, not done, half-done and I get told off.

She promised to make me some custard squares (vanilla slices) today. I hope that it's still on the cards.

A PLACE NEAR NEW PLYMOUTH - SCARY

A PLACE NEAR NEW PLYMOUTH

Richard and Shelley are in a place near New Plymouth. They went there yesterday and are hopeful of returning on Sunday. Good luck with that I say.

This place is out of internet range - OUT OF INTERNET RANGE!

What will the old guy do when he has to use the long-drop toilet? How will he keep his hands busy if he can't blog, tweet or argue with Robert on Facebook?

 

RETIREMENT ISN'T WORKING

I'm retired having turned 65 last year. I have a Gold Card (thank you Winston Peters) which, if I go to Auckland allows me to travel on buses and ferries for free. I must check out if that applies to Whangarei as well although, since there is no public transport system from Whangarei to where I live (25 minutes away by car) it would mean that I'd still have to drive in to town and then get a bus. Why would I do that when parking in Whangarei is so easy and cheap and anyway, I prefer to walk.

When I say I retired last year at turning 65 that's not entirely true. I actually gave up proper (as in committed full-time work) in November 2007. That's almost 10 years ago. Since then I've:

• Done unpaid charity work
• Been involved in local community orgaisations
• Owned and operated a picture framing business
• Consulted on a full-time basis to two wine companies
• Worked part-time for another two wine companies
• Lived (and part-time worked) overseas

Essentially though I consider that the last time I seriously worked was in 2007 meaning that I retired at the age of 55.

I have really enjoyed the last 10 years as I've been able to do all of those things that I dreamed about doing when I was swallowed up alive during the previous 30 years of full-time work. Things like:

• Listening to National Radio during the day
• Going for walks whenever I like
• Kayaking during the week
• Golfing
• Not being driven by an alarm call in the morning
• Reading the books I've always wanted to
• Writing my novel

The downside of course has been less money coming in which I've had to occasionally address by upping my work to full-time but I've been blessed in having a partner with a good and well paying job who has supported me.

So, is there a problem?

Well yes. I love playing tennis twice a week, golf weekly, walking swimming and kayaking when the weather permits but ...... I'm getting a bit bored. I feel like I need to find something to do for at least a few hours a week to keep me stimulated and to bring in some much needed extra spondooliks. The problem is that, in my 'profession' I'm past my use-by date. If I'd been a teacher I'd be able to pick up relief work here and there like one old guy I know. I don't know what he does in class anymore, probably hands out some quizzes or exam papers and then sits down to read the latest Marvel comic (hidden inside some official looking tome.

I'm reasonably intelligent, well-educated, can read and write well and know my way around a computer. You'd think that there would be plenty of opportunities to use these skills (on a part-time basis) but no, employers don't want old buggers cluttering up their workplaces and I haven't seen a lot of work-at-home offers but I'll keep looking.

"OOPS SORRY KID I WAS AIMING AT THE GUY WITH THE GUN"

That old idiot Donald Trump's answer to school shootings in the USA is not to remove guns from the hands of the nutters, no, it's to arm teachers and sports coaches so that they can have a shoot out in the school before the police (and undertakers) arrive.

What the fuck is that about? This guy is so far removed from reality that you wonder how he ever got to be President of The United States of America ...... oh, that's right it's America. That figures.

TRUMP - ARM THE TEACHERS

Now I know a few teachers and quite frankly I wouldn't put them in charge of fly swats let alone guns. If they didn't end up shooting themselves in the foot they'd probably wipe out more students and staff than the actual shooter would.

At school we had loony teachers who were dangerous enough with blackboard erasers and canes let alone giving the bastards guns.

PAULINUS

Brother Paulinus at Marist Newtown was a nutter who would probably have had pot shots at kids just to 'keep his eye in'. 

At St Patrick's College secondary the discipline master Unverrich demonstrated some sort of sadistic pleasure in caning boys and Scambury the sports master would no doubt have liked to have a gun when trying to get me to jump hurdles or dunk a basketball.

Let's hope loony Trump's idea gets buried although in that country it's more likely that a daft idea like that would be accepted before a ban on military weapons.

PATRIMONY

A surname, family name, or last name is the portion of a personal name that indicates a person's family (or tribe or community, depending on the culture). Depending on the culture all members of a family unit may have identical surnames or there may be variations based on the cultural rules.

***********

A matrilineal surname or matriname is a family name inherited from one's mother, (and maternal grandmother, etc.) whose line of descent is called a matriline.
They existed even before patrinames which are surnames inherited from one's father

************

Although the term "maternal surname" can be confused with "matriname" there is a difference in patrilineal cultures, where the maternal surname is the mother's patriname. In addition, in some cultures women inherit a surname from their mother as well as from their father. In such patrilineal cultures matrinames are able to co-exist with patrinames.

Thanks WIKIPEDIA 

************

The blogger formerly known as Robert got himself a bit worked up over the rights to use a surname - in this case PROWSE - although, bizarrely he in a now deleted post and comment stated that he wished he didn't have this surname and would prefer to have a matriname. Go figure.

Richard, whose blog(s) unfortunately are still active jumped on the bandwagon and defended the rights of others to use the surname PROWSE even if it were misspelt - PROUSE, PROWESS, PUSSY etc.

I knocked off a quick post in defence of my surname which said Richard deliberately or lazily misspelled but to be honest who gives a shit. It always amuses me that when people get interested in genealogy and start researching family names and histories that they invariably get locked into the surname - the father's name even though there are so many expanding branches of family with hundreds of other names - matrinames and links that are just as or far more important. What's that about? Ego I suppose.

My surname is McDonald passed down from my father which has a Scottish connection but on both his family side and my mother's we have many other surnames amd matrinames and links to ancestors from Ireland, England, Wales, USA, Canada, France - and other countries. The 'surnames' are very numerous, some funny, some ugly and many very interesting and attractive. If I wanted I guess I could dip in and select one or two (hyphenate them) to come up with a new one but what's the point?

CLAN MCDONALD

Clan McDonald (not to be confused with Clan MacDonald) is very safe in its history and current situation and has proud memories of generations and centuries of achievements.
The McDonalds hailed from North Western Scotland in the loch area north of Inverness and in addition to being fierce warriors were also accomplished boat builders and fishermen.

Torridon - home of the McDonald's

Not joining in on the duplicitous activities of the MacDonalds, the Campbells and the Forbes (sorry Lynn) in their conniving with the English, the McDonalds set off, in the late 1700s and early 1800s for Nova Scotia. It was their boat-building abilities that enabled this and also from there to arrive by the mid 1800s in Australia and New Zealand.

Richard of Richard's Bass Bag that well known historian ...... I jest ...... Richard of Richard's Bass Bag Googled McDonald and discovered MacDonald and used that odious clan's tartan as an image. THIS RUBBISH HERE


Rude!

Clan McDonald has many members of high quality, breeding, education and ability and doesn't need to go about on recruitment drives. We're very happy as we are thank you.

CYCLONE GITA MEANS GITA THE HELL AWAY FROM THERE

At the risk of once again being seen to be an insensitive bastard* I ask the question why government and support agencies have to be mobilised to help out a whole lot of stupid people who, ignoring all safety warnings from reliable agencies chose to either say in high risk areas or to even elect to go to them even though a fucking cyclone was on the way.

TOURISTS STRANDED IN GOLDEN BAY

The majority of the people in Golden Bay and ultimately the ones putting pressure on vital resources are tourists and campers who chose to go there against very good advice. What the fuck is wrong with them?

WARNINGS IGNORED?

How often do we see this nowadays? It seems that today people are so cosseted in the comforts of the 21st century that they forget about the dangers that natural events can bring. They are seemingly unaware that New Zealand is a long skinny country that is at the mercy of bad weather, earthquakes, tsunami and volcanic activity and you have to be responsible for your own actions.You shouldn't be allowed to go bleating to support people to help you unless you took adequate care from the beginning and secondly, you are prepared to pay for the support given. Expensive support like helicopters and teams of professionals who have to be mobilised to save your stupid arse.

Right. I got that off my chest.

***************

* I upset poor old Robert by a comment on Richard's blog regarding legal names of in-laws. As Robert assures that Deed Poll name change was legally executed then I was wrong. It's interesting that Richard asked exactly that question several years ago on one of his posts (sadly deleted now when he crashed his entire blog the year before last) without the comical overreaction from Robert.


.

I'M GETTING OLDER BUT AM I GETTING SILLIER?

I seem to be injuring myself a lot lately.

Last year a tripped outside the apartment building in auckland, fell flat on my face and damaged my fingers which are still occasionally sore. SEE HERE

Before Christmas I fell down a bank at golf and hurt my ankle and knee which is still giving me gyp.
SEE HERE

Last night while bringing the recycle bin up from the roadside I tripped on the steps and rolled gently into the garden and then ungently onto the driveway where I badly scraped my left elbow and cut a finger somehow.

Today while playing tennis I seem to have twisted or hurt my right elbow which is bloody sore.

I swear that I'm my own worst enemy.

GUILTY PLEASURES

I give old Richard of Richard's Bass Bag a bit of a hard time about his art film, literature and poetry appreciation. OK, he's a music professional and has bona fide degrees in this and no doubt can distinguish between Tchaikovsky's - Symphony No. 6 and Starship's We Built This City. 


PYOTR ILYICH AND STARSHIP SHARE THE SAME CHORDS


The problem is that he thinks Gravity's Rainbow is an icecream flavour, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock is a Curmudgeon's agony Aunt letter and that if he saw a Jackson Pollock painting he'd get out his handkerchief and try to clean it up. When it comes to cinema he thinks that the greatest films ever feature Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger or Liam Neeson.

Every now and then though I confess to 'doing a Richard' and reading a Lee Child novel or, dare I say it, watching a Liam Neeson film.

On NETFLIX tonight when I trawled through looking for something good to watch I stumbled on a film A Walk Among The Tombstones featuring Liam Neeson.

The 'stumble' was metaphorical but was a result of having imbibed a couple of glasses of Chardonnay (with label on) and a glass of Pinot Noir ( also with label on) so 'stumble' is apt.

I'm  enjoying watching this film and am writing this while replenishing my glass and eating an  ice cream 'cookie'. I similarly sometimes enjoy reading Lee child novels and listening to 1970s punk and new wave music. It makes me feel guilty but hey! That's life.

NEW POST - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

The Religious Curmudgeon has got back on tack and continues to find some bizarre aspects of the Catholic religion.

See:

SCAPULAS

STAMINA

STAMINA
noun
The ability to sustain prolonged physical or mental effort.
"their secret is stamina rather than speed" 

Synonyms: endurance, staying power, indefatigability, tirelessness, resistance, resilience, fortitude, strength, vigour, energy, staunchness, steadfastness, robustness, toughness, determination, tenacity, perseverance.

 I walk as much as I can both up North and in Auckland, climb steep hills, kayak, play tennis and sometimes play golf but today, after a day of playing in a lawn bowls tournament I'm bloody stuffed.

There were about 60 people there playing bowls from 8.30 AM to about 4 PM and I was almost the youngest person there. I'm 65. Some of them were in their late 70s and I swear one woman looked like she was a nonagenarian. They all seemed to handle it OK and looked quite spry as I was fading in the afternoon.

I've noticed this before, when playing 18 holes of golf. I'd be happy to stop after 9 holes but these old buggers just keep going on and on like the Energizer bunny.

It's all a matter of doing what you're used to I guess. I'd be exhausted after cleaning slippery showers after an hour like Robert does but then, he'd probably be totally shagged out by having to have a sleep in, a late breakfast, reading the Listener and doing the crossword followed by dip in the bay.  Go figure.

NEW POST - THE CULTURED CURMUDGEON

The Cultured Curmudgeon sure likes to try and raise us up from our reading of Jack Reacher books and watching Bruce Willis films.

He has written a new post : OPEN YOUR MINDS

NEW POST - THE NEW DIFFERENT TIME ZONE BILL

Bill has just got back from his travels with an amazing tale (tail? - see what I did there?) about events to come in September.

Read:

TRAFFIC DISRUPTION IN ITALY

BACK IN THE SADDLE ....

..... sorry, wrong metaphor there, I probably should have said back on the green but anyway I played golf yesterday for the first time since I hurt my knee in November.

It was quite hot even though I left it until mid to late afternoon. I played well hitting some damn good shots which I was happy with after a nearly 3 month break. It soon got too warm though so I abandoned playing and went golf ball hunting instead.

I went down the bank to the same creek where I fell down and did the damage. I daren't tell The Old Girl as she's forbidden me from doing this. I got down without mishap and had a fossick around. The creek was quite high as a result of all the rains we've been having so I had to take my shoes and socks off to wade it. In the past I've just taken a running jump and leapt over but this time, because it was fuller and also because I didn't want to aggravate the knee on which I have an elastic brace, I played safe.

It seems that other golfers hadn't crossed the creek to retrieve their wayward balls and I found twenty new or near new balls all within a few yards of each other. Jackpot! I can add these to the 400 or so others I have in the shed.

NEW POST - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

The Religious Curmudgeon has been Youtube surfing and found an interesting clip featuring Stephen Fry giving his take on the Catholic Church,

See:

ELEGANCE SQUARED

NEVER LET TRUTH GET IN THE WAY OF A GOOD STORY# 2 - CASANOVA

I was a bit of a casanova at university in the '70s.
I had long curly hair and  a body like (I've told you before) Donatello's David.


I used to piss Richard off by regaling him with stories of my many girlfriends. Sometimes when we were sitting in the cafe I'd point some of them out to him. He was very jealous.

There was Veronica who was in an after hours course I took in Astrology taught by Garth Carpenter. She was stunning and an American.

Francesca was in my French class. I'm not sure what nationality she was but she wasn't a kiwi. She had a nice accent.

Robyn was in my English class. She had a model's looks. She was 2 years older than me so I was into older women then. I remember once nearly tipping my chair over in the library when she came up and talked to me. She put a hand out and rescued me. I was in love with her.

Leila was in my Constitutional Law class. Attractive and intelligent I blame here for a lowly grade as I couldn't stop looking at her.

(Unknown name) girl always sat in the library near where I would sit. I offered her a mint once which she accepted and smiled.

White Suit Girl didn't attend any lectures or tutorials that I did but our paths often crossed in the courtyards and corridors. I think that she was infatuated by me.

Marina was in my Education and Society course. She was lovely and always had a nice smile for me.

Angela was in one of my History courses. She was of Italian heritage and walked around barefoot. It turned out she was a friend of one of my future flatmates. Sadly she's passed on.

Sue was in my Environmental Geology class. I noticed her right from the start.

There were others but I don't want to piss Richard off again.

*****************

True or False?



****************

Actually all of these young women existed but their status as girlfriends were all in my imagination except for Sue who became a girlfriend a few years later.

WE WERE NAKED AND HAD SEX*

* Said Karen McDougal in The New York Post and as reported in other US publications.

Clothes on thankfully

Now while she is easy on the eye the thought of a naked Donald Trump will be giving a lot of people nightmares if they can't erase the image from their memory - me included.

Will this new claim of infidelity damage Trump? Probably not as he's such a flawed character that people, even his right wing religious fanatic supporters expect no better of him.

NEVER LET TRUTH GET IN THE WAY OF A GOOD STORY # 1 THE HEX

I went kayaking yesterday. I made the longest trip since I sold my trusty old yellow kayak nearly five years ago before we went to Canada.

The new kayak I have is pretty good (not as good as that old one though which I wish that I hadn't sold) and I decided to give it a work out. The bay was very calm as I headed out. It was after high tide and would be a few hours to low tide. As I headed out around the first point the water got a bit choppier but I generally hugged the coast and made my way past all of the bays towards the last bay, Urquharts before the entrance to the Heads and the big ocean.

Urquharts Bay

The channel was pretty deep at parts as this is where the big oil tankers come in to Marsden Point refinery and at points there was some big swell. At Urquharts I turned around and headed back home. The outgoing tide and the headwind that had come out made the return a lot more difficult than the trip out. I was utterly stuffed when I got back to McLeod Bay (not Cloudy Bay as Robert seems to think I live) and I beached the kayak and wallowed around in the water for a while. I've got to learn to take things in small steps. Last night my back, buttocks and shoulders ached but this, I guess suggests that the exercise must have been doing the old body good.

*****************  

Whangarei harbour around the Heads is made up of many beaches, little islands and sandbanks that become exposed at low tide. Earli in my trip as I was making my way along a large pleasure craft came barrelling along unnecessarily close to me. The bastard had the whole fucking harbour to use but no, this tosser, his mate and his stupid fat wife had to come by me at speed. The bow wave rocked my kayak a bit and I called out "I hope you hit something and sink you bastard!"

About a couple of hundred metres on (or whatever the maritime measure is) the said pleasure craft made a 'graunching' sound and ran aground on a part of a sandbank. I had to laugh as I skirted well around the bank, keeping to deeper water. It was funny to see the three of them standing in knee high water trying to rock the boat back into deeper water. It was an outgoing tide so things would only get worse.

On my return past the spot the boat had gone - unfortunately not sunk as they'd obviously got it away or had some assistance with a tow but I thought "Wow! My hex ability is pretty good, I'll have to try it again sometime"

*****************

True or False?

NEVER LET TRUTH GET IN THE WAY OF A GOOD STORY - A NEW SERIES

The Old Girl gives me a hard time sometimes by telling me that I embellish things a bit.
I remind her that I've made a career out of marketing and have learned to never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

I've decided that a new posting series is required and I'm using truth and lies as the theme.
I'll write a story that may or may not be true. My many some a couple maybe of my readers can choose which it is.

I'm off to the club in a few minutes so when I return I'll post the first in this exciting new series .....




...... or will I?

ETIQUETTE

Regular readers will know that I've joined a bowling club and today played in a first year singles final which I will report on in a moment.

First, it is important to know that Lawn Bowls is a traditional game played largely by elderly people and which has strict rules of social behavior and etiquette. Bowlers are sticklers for rules and traditions and get a bit niggly when these are not being adhered to.

Here are the etiquette rules that apply to New Zealand bowling clubs:



Etiquette: One of the greatest attributes of lawn bowls is the opportunity it gives to foster sociability and camaraderie among fellow bowlers. And as part of this, it is important that some conventional courtesies and standards are observed on and off the green.

1. On tournament and club days, try to arrive early enough to assist with preparation of play (scrims, scoreboards, mats, jacks, etc)

2. Visiting Players should not be left to their own devices – they are our guests for the day and should be made to feel welcome.

3. Hand the jack to the opposing lead when he/she has placed the mat and have their first bowl ready to hand to them. This friendly gesture sets the tone for the game.

4. All players should have their next bowl in their hand by the time the opposing player has delivered their bowl. Scrambling around searching for your bowl is not acceptable, especially in a time game.

5. All players should stay stationary and quiet behind the player delivering the bowl so as not to affect their concentration.

6. Do not walk up the rink in front of the player who has just delivered the last bowl to be played. Wait until they start moving up the rink.

7. No bowls should be touched or moved until the end is declared and then help return the bowls to behind the mat.

8. Warn players on adjoining rinks if a drive is about to be played and be ready to try and stop any bowls going into other rinks and disturbing their heads.

9. Possession of the rink and mat passes to your opponent once your bowl comes to rest or becomes dead. If you are on the head, you can only make comments and see what position your bowls are in if you are in possession of the rink.

10.It is unlawful as well as discourteous to encroach on adjoining rinks.

11.It is a courtesy for the “Three” or middle player of the team who has won the previous end to place his skip’s bowl on the mat before joining the other players at change over.

12.Niggling or disparaging remarks directed at the opposing team or players is not good sportsmanship.

13.Congratulate an opponent on a well- played bowl and don’t grizzle if they have a lucky shot. You will get your share of rubs and wicks and they generally balance out in a game.

14.Do not forget that Bowls is first and foremost a sport and should be treated as such. Be gracious in defeat.

15.Avoid unseemly language and behaviour at all times and have consideration for your own players and opponents.

16.Disturbing the head before an opponent has a chance to determine the results is illegal and unacceptable. No bowls should be moved until both teams, or opposing players in singles, agree on the number of shots scored.

17. Leads and twos should remain behind the head or mat when not in possession of the rink and should not crowd the head or offer advice when bowls in contention are being measured – this is the job of the Three (or middle person).

18.The skip should set high standards by being scrupulously fair. They should not belittle team members who are performing indifferently, but instead provide encouragement. Rewarding well played shots with a clap or friendly word of praise does wonders for team morale.

19.Keep general chatter to a minimum and and don’t wander from rink to rink.

**************

As said I played  a best of three games finals tournament match today and unfortunately lost. In keeping with the rules of etiquette here is my short report on this:

"My opponent J. was a rather tall chap. He was very nice and polite with impeccable manners. Dressed in regulation whites he brought credit to the venerable game and elegantly demonstrated his skills.
His playing was consistent and of high quality enabling him to convincingly win the first game. I bowled some good shots but not enough I'm sad to say to pull back from J's impressive score.
After a welcome cup of tea we resumed playing and in the second game we were 'neck and neck' for most of it until, in the last quarter J pulled away. Although the second game was close J, due to his superior skill and discipline was able to win.
The result was J winning best of three and being awarded the First Year singles trophy.
Well done J, the best man won."

*************** 

Well, bollocks to that. Now that I'm home here's my alternate report.

"At the bowling club I was met by a tall streak of piss by the name of J. This joker claimed to be a first year player having not played bowls before. He rather suspiciously was decked out in official bowling club gear - white hat, white shirt, white longs and even white shoes - first year? Yeah right!
The bastard was annoying in his mundane and boring playing style, just inching each shot closer and closer to the jack or kitty as the white target ball is called. Every time I placed one of my balls close this long streak of piss would nudge mine out of the way. Bastard! He won the first game and then we had to sit about drinking stewed tea and making polite conversation with some of the oldies who looked like they came out of Robert's mate Noah's Ark.
The next game was much closer and it looked like I might win and J was getting a bit tired. He said that he probably wouldn't be up to playing a third game if he lost the second so I felt sorry for him and slackened off my pace a bit so he could win.
The result - two games to J who was made First Year Champion.
Lawn bowls is a stupid game!"

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A funny thing happened with the shorts I was wearing. As I was adjusting them the top button which held them together came off and the zip kept coming down. As a result the shorts were slipping down regularly. I had to take the shoelace out of one of my shoes and tie up the shorts by looping the lace through the belt loops and tying tightly. I didn't want to be the first person at the club to be playing naked.

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NEW POST - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

The Religious Curmudgeon has written a new post:

DUMB AS ROCKS

NEW POST - THE CURMUDGEON EXPRESS

The Curmudgeon Express has returned from his (very long) holidays and has a new post to share.

SUCKERS

FILL-IN ALERT. NEW POST FROM THE FOOD CURMUDGEON

The Food Curmudgeon has cooked up an idea for dinner (see what I did there? You don't get puns like this at the Bass Baggers Hexagram).

See:

BOUNTY

I WONDER IF SHE'LL BUY IT

I heard an interviewee on National Radio yesterday saying that weeds are good for the garden.

WEEDS

This pricked my ears up.

The recent run of hot but rainy weather has not only created unbearable mugginess but it has encouraged weeds to run riot. These little bastards sprout up in my vegetable garden, amongst the ferns at the side of the house, in and around the lawn, on the gravel drive and between the bricks on the outside paving. Bastards!

I bought a long handled weed grouter (I'm unsure if this is what it's called) which means that I don't have to kneel to 'grout' them out but even so, they grow as fast as I get rid of them.

I went to Auckland last weekend and The Old Girl isn't coming up this coming weekend so it'll be three weeks since she's been here by the time she gets here in two weekends time. No doubt I still won't be on top of the weeds so I'll have to tell her about the National Radio interview I heard and that weeds are good. Here's hoping she'll believe me.

THE DIRE TRIBE

Robert (still on probation) has reinstated his blog and is posting reasonably frequently.

DO NOT SEND FEEDBACK

Unfortunately he still, frequently, deletes all posts for no known reason. Like  early rumblings before a major earthquake this inevitably is followed by total blog deletion. The reasons, as mentioned are unknown but there are some obvious coincidences that seem to be related to the deletions:

• Consumption of vast amounts of cheap wine and dodgy beer
• Arguments on blogger or Facebook with Richard (of RBB).

We will keep a close watch on this and record the activity and chart the results..

Unfortunately for Robert deletion of his blog posts merely increase the probationary period.

*****************

Robert has created another blog which at this stage appears to be stable.

A PILGRIM'S JOURNEY

The same avatar is used thus:

Which appears to be a portrait of Paganini on a bad day.

This could forebode (the word chosed carefully) a string of blogs controlled by Robert, or Paganini or both.

If this is to be then it would make sense for Robert to create a consortium of blogs. This concept was pioneered by THE CURMUDGEONS INC.ⓒ and quickly followed by Richard's group which he inexplicably named THE BASS BAGGING HEXAGRAM.

THE CURMUDGEONS INC.ⓒ's suggestion is for Robert to put his blogs under an overarching brand. Our suggestion is THE DIRE TRIBE (for obvious punning reasons). The word 'tribe' suggests a closely knit grouping and the word 'dire' speaks for itself.

A logo that quickly and succinctly sums up the core values of the group will be necessary. Note: Richard has failed to grasp this notion and is using the logo:

Which, yes, we admit is a hexagram but what does it suggest in regard to Bass Bagging, filling up bins with garden rubbish, changing strings on musical instruments and having an aversion to a song named Easy Ridin' Bros from Wellington all of which frequently make up his blog posting.

Here are some suggested logos for DIRE TRIBE for discussion and consideration.

.

.

I like the last one as it seems to fit with Robert's sense of humour and with his views on how indigenous populations should be treated (refer previous posts on The Treaty of Waitangi) but this may cause problems with potential readers and at this delicate stage Robert's blogs are going to need all the followers possible.

Perhaps the second one agenzia DiRE with removal of 'agenzia' could be bracketed with this one -

- which will give the TRIBE component and suggest brotherhood.

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Let THE CURMUDGEONS INC.ⓒ know what you think. We're here to please.