I wasn't going to write a follow-up to BORED? after Robert of the Catastrophic Catholic View managed to corner the market on boring posts. Richard of the bass bag fame, that reasonably well known fishing blog enjoyed the post however and has been pressuring me for a follow-up. Obviously I never listen to Richard but today I received a comment from Google Blogger asking for an update so - here it is.
PART ONE
Yesterday was sunny and calm so, instead of going for a walk I headed out to play golf. As I lined up the tee shot on the first hole I realised that I'd left my golfing glove at home. I hit a terrible drive which disappeared somewhere to the left of the fairway - never to be seen again (at least not by me).
I skipped the hole and went on to the second and once again hit a crappy drive. The club seemed to twist in my hand. I tried a fairway wood shot next and managed to hit the ball nearly sideways. These were the worst holes that I'd played for many years. I decided that it was the lack of a glove that was causing the problem. Now I don't know if this is a physical issue where wearing the glove provides better grip or if it's a psychological thing where because I think that 'wearing the glove provides better grip' I just hit poor shots. Maybe Robert, with or without the support of the catechism, Trent Horn and Bishop Putchahandinmipoket can tell us. I gave up.
I decided to walk the course and not play any more golf. I'd only headed out anyway for the exercise, remember, so walked all of the most scenic and challenging holes (hilly ones). At the far Western edge of the course, as I was walking along the par 3-13th hole I looked through the deer fence at a ball that was tantalisingly too far away for my trusty extendible ball retriever to reach. Bugger as Richard would most likely say. I was about to move away when an old guy (about my age) called out if he could help me. He was dressed in wet weather gear even though it was sunny and was wearing gumboots. I lied to him that my ball was out in the paddock as it had clipped a tree branch and headed off to the left. He walked over and retrieved the ball and asked if I wanted him to fetch any other ones. I didn't tell him about the 800 plus balls I have in the shed, instead telling him that the way I play golf I need plenty of balls. He looked around and found a whole lot more and handed them to me through the fence. We had a chat and I discovered that he wasn't the farmer but was a resident in the gated community named the farm estate or something and had been there for three years. The residents each have their large houses and gardens but are free to wander around the farm which he does for exercise. He wandered off and I headed back along the fairway hoping he wouldn't wonder why I wasn't playing any shots.
PART TWO
When I got home I told The Old Girl how I'd played the worst golf for years. She was sympathetic and said "never mind, maybe tomorrow you can do better".
This was music to my ears because I was up to something. I had a secret.
This was Monday and, on Sunday I had successfully outbid some others for a golf set on Trade Me. I hadn't told The Old Girl about this just in case the clubs were rubbish and I would have to re-list them. I'd arranged with the seller that I'd collect them this afternoon, after tennis.
After tennis I told The Old Girl that I was off to play golf as she had suggested and went to the seller's house. The golf clubs are fantastic. She was happy to sell them and I'm happy to have bought them. They are in pristine condition and are a very reliable brand. They cost $150 but I had checked on-line and saw that overseas a set like this, second hand, go for about $800. On the way home, after going to Rebel Sport to buy a new golf glove I stopped off at the golf course and tried out the clubs. I played 6 holes and ..... played the best golf thatI've played for years. When I got home I told The Old Girl this and confessed about my secret. We agreed that I'd get rid of the other old sets of golf clubs in the shed which I've arranged to donate to the local school.
Was it the new clubs or was it the new glove I hear you ask.
Who knows.
I'll keep you posted.
4 comments:
This is not a good post.
It's a bloody work of art! This transcends blog posting! I kneel before you, oh wise one. This new set of clubs came to you like receiving a sacrament. If ever there was proof of a superior being, this is it!
Oh golfer, who strives for the perfect shot, even without a glove, we, the ordinary men, salute you.
Ah golf!
Thanks for that. It's a much needed boost to the ego after my spelling-challenged comments on Robert's blog last night. I had a couple of wines which impaired my typing skills but also, his ridiculous criticism of the government's response to the pandemic really got my goat. I had to delete my first comment which, while apt was a bit abusive to him.
I think that I'll park the golf posts now so that I can leave on a high note (G5?).
Leave on a high note? If you were a trumpet player, you'd be playing double Ds. If you were a priest, you'd be smarter than Father Sheen.
Or, shinier than Father Sheen.
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