CELLO! HOW ARE YOU?

 We have had reports that an old man named Hector (not his real name) was found acting in a strange manner on the Nuova Lazio Golf Course.

His wife, Shelley contacted us for advice. We spoke to her:

"I was worried about Hector (not his real name)" said Shelley. "He was acting strangely, well, even more strangely this morning - mumbling about lost balls, creeks, ponds and tee shots. He said that he didn't feel his normal self which was weird because I had seen him feeling himself, as per usual, in the bathroom. He said that he'd go to the golf course and have a pizzicato. He grabbed his cello (not its real name) and headed out to his car.  I decided to follow him. I waited until he'd left the drive and headed off down the street. I waited about 10 minutes knowing that, at the rate that he drove, I'd still catch up to him well before he got to the main road. When I spotted his car I slowed down to his speed much to the annoyance of all the traffic behind me and we crawled our way to the Nuova Lazio Golf Club which they call 'Riskend' for some reason.

.

He took his cello (not its real name) out of the car and marched out to the course. The only other person there was a stately-looking older gentleman who had a magnificent set of nearly new golf clubs. Hector (not his real name) saw this gentleman and quickly (as far as he can do anything quickly - except 'that') hid behind a tree trunk. He pulled out ........ a bow and arrow set and fired an arrow.

The arrow went nowhere near the gentleman who had hit a tremendous tee shot down the fairway seemingly going much further than he was used to as he had trouble finding the ball. Hector (not his real name) fired another arrow which went about 6 feet and lay limply on the grass. "Bastardo" he swore and picked up his cello (not its real name) and ran towards the golfer. When he was near he threw the cello (not its real name) but the elderly golfer had disappeared. He had gone down the ravine that ran to the left of the fairway to look for golf balls.

Hector's (not his real name) cello (not its real name) sailed out over the edge and down into the ravine, landing in the water. the elderly guy seemed perplexed but seeing that it wasn't a golf ball, paid  no attention to the pile of broken wood and wire that was floating away."

Shelley reported that Hector (not his real name) left his cello (not its real name) and went back to his car. She followed, easily overtaking him along the coast road and arrived home 15 minutes before he did. She made some scones and coffee which was waiting when Hector (not his real name arrived.

"Nice day?" she asked but only received a grunt in reply. At least she'd get some peace for a while now that the cello (not its real name) was out of action.