INTERVIEW # 6

 Against my better judgement, I allowed a discussion on the non-existence of god to dominate our blogging over the last day or so. Mea culpa. Robert was helpful, finally admitting that there was no proof of the existence of god which I thought had comfortably brought the discussion to a conclusion when he said:

"But to get back to the subject, I believe there is no real proof that God exists because the God that is, is outside science or the observable." - Robert the apathetic sanctimonious pork eating sinner and catholic 

Richard kind of agreed that there was no god although, being distracted, he wavered a little. I thought that it would be best, in view of there not being a god to contact, to talk to his/her/its supposed representative on earth, the Pope.

The New Zealand Catholic diocese were helpful in making the arrangements to talk, via ZOOM with Pope Francis, born Jorge Mario Bergoglio, and were enthusiastic when I showed them my school prefect badges, class photographs (they were particularly pleased at the 'P' class status), my letter from the St Patrick's College Foundation and an old school sock that I had in the back of a drawer. I didn't mention my time as a Sacristan and thought better of providing them with a link to The Religious Curmudgeon's blog.

INTERVIEW NUMBER SIX - POPE FRANCIS

The Curmudgeon: Greetings Pope Francis. Thank you for 'meeting' with me.

Il Papa : You can call me Il Papa my son if I can call you TC.

The Curmudgeon: Oh, gee, thanks Papa, I'll ...

Il Papa : Il Papa.

The Curmudgeon: Huh? Oh, I see, Il Papa, OK, um .... look, I'm part of a blogging community that discusses important things like religion, politics, music and household furniture and we ...

Il Papa : Community TC? How big is this community?

The Curmudgeon: Well, Il Papa, it's big .... it's, well now, it has three members. There's Rob....

Il Papa : Three members? Mmmm. Does this blogging community have a name?

The Curmudgeon: A name? Gee, I hadn't thought of that. I could ask the others but between you and me dad, er Il Papa that'd be like trying to get a tennis club committee to agree on something.

Il Papa : Ha ha. Yes, I know, I've got the same thing here with all of these damned (and most of them will be) cardinals. I find it best just to be autocratic and make my own decisions and enforce them. It's easier that way.

The Curmudgeon: Hey, great advice. Thanks. I could tell the others that we agreed to call the community TC AND A COUPLE OF FIDDLERS. The old guy Richard will have forgotten that we agreed on the name and Robert will buy into it as soon as I tell him that you and I discussed it.

Il Papa : Good thinking. I like it, I could borrow that for use in many of the Marist schools that we have.

The Curmudgeon: OK, let's move on Il Papa ..... look, this Il Papa thing is a bit cumbersome frankly can I call you ...

Il Papa : Frank? Surely, but don't call me Shirley. Ha ha.

The Curmudgeon: Ha ha. OK Frank, look, is there a god or not?

Il Papa : Well, that depends what you mean by god?

The Curmudgeon: Here we go. Mealy-mouthed tripe just like Robert wheels out. Can't even you give me a straight answer?

Il Papa : Look, let me finish.

The Curmudgeon: OK, the floor is yours (sotto voce) And the rest of the world according to you guys.

Il Papa : What's that my son?

The Curmudgeon: Oh, I just said best to carry on big guy.

Il Papa : Mmm, well, anyway, to proclaim God to others does not mean to "justify his existence" because "even the devil knows that God exists." Instead, the church fulfills its duty to proclaim God's love by "giving witness to the joy of knowing him. God is not the answer to an intellectual curiosity or to a commitment of the will, but an experience of love, called to become a story of love. The mystery of God is never exhausted; it is as immense as his love.

The Curmudgeon: Jesus.

Il Papa : Yes, Jesus is God as well, let me ...

The Curmudgeon: Um.. just a mo Frank, have you heard of George Carlin?

Il Papa : George? Yes, I like old George. He gets a bit bolshie sometimes but I like his style.

The Curmudgeon: Well, have you listened to his "There is no God' sketch?

Il Papa : Yeah, I loved. it, especially when he said that he prayed to Joe Pesci. I love Joe Pesci. Have you seen  Goodfellas?

The Curmudgeon: Hey! I can see what you're doing there - obfuscation, bafflement, bewilderment, confusion, discombobulation, fog, perplexity and puzzlement. All leading to stupefaction and the inquisitor tearing his hair out (what's left) and giving up.

Il Papa : H ha, right, you got me.

The Curmudgeon: Well, I guess we agree to disagree. You can believe in your silly old god as long as you stop bothering me ....oh, can you have a word with that St Pat's guy who keeps sending me those begging letters for the St Pat's Foundation?

Il Papa : That's a deal. You know that he never made the P classes. I think he's a bit disgruntled about that - they usually are.  I'd best get along, I think I'll declare that Trans people can get the operation free of charge from the Catholic Church with its blessing. That'll get the cardinals in a tizzy for a while and keep me amused.

The Curmudgeon: Ha ha, great idea. Robert will be pissed off and confused at the same time. He'll then wonder if, as you approve it, he himself should get the op. That'll keep the blogs going for a while. thanks Frank.

Il Papa : Addio.

Well, that wraps that up. Old Frank's not such a bad chap -a bit misguided still, but we'll bring him around.