INTERVIEW #30

 

"Check out the chick at the bottom of this post"

You won't have noticed but recently Robert wrote a post under his 'Rob' blob blog that consisted of an interview between him, Richard and me.

Here's a link to the post which I suppose you will never read. SUNDAY

Anyway, so as to try and put a positive spin on this I decided, at the conclusion of Robert's interview, to follow up by interviewing him and Richard. We were all in the same place after all.

Here is a transcript of that interview conducted by me The Curmudgeon who we'll call TC and with Robert who we will call Rob and Richard who we'll call ... well, we'll call him Richard:

TC: Welcome to The Curmudgeon's blog where we expose the darker side of life.  Today, I’m joined by Richard, who writes about double basses, serenading with his violin and his once popular existing Richard's Bass Bag Tours and with Robert known who is in the blogging world as 'Rob'. Guys, it’s a pleasure to have you.

Rob: Thanks for that. It's one of the best introductions I've had. I'll mention it in my prayers tonight to Mary.

Richard: Yeah, ta but I have to get going soon. I said I'd be home by 5PM and it's already 2PM. It's a long drive from Moera to Wainuiomata you know.

TC: (Sheesh!)  That's OK. I'm sure this won't take very long um ... Robert, in your interview before, you said that I was a man who knows his way around both a billiard table and a wine bottle. I'd like to correct you on that. While I did play billiards when I was a member of The Auckland Club years ago, I haven't played it much since. I refer to the table we have as the snooker table - in the snooker room and The Old Girl and I play pool on that.

Rob: Oh, sorry about that I don't know where I got that from.

TC: Richard plays billiards I think ...

Rob: Yeah, pocket billiards.

Rob and TC laugh. Richard sulks but takes his hands out of his pockets.

TC: Richard, stop sulking and join in. I see that you've still got that violin case with you. We're lucky that it’s not hiding a Tommy gun.

Richard: Ah get stuffed. I think that Robert's interview was better.

Richard and TC laugh. Rob sulks.

TC: Well, let’s keep things non-apocalyptic for now. Rob, you said that life is like a church service. Care to elaborate?

Rob: Sure TC. Life’s about hiding in plain sight, knowing when to keep your head down  and when to take a shot.  Steady Richard - move your hand away from that 'violin' case. And just like in church services, particularly Mass, sometimes you need to disguise yourself in the company of nutters knowing that no right-minded person, including the authorities - police IRD, creditors, the mongrel mob and that guy I stiffed on the Trade Me sale would ever come near the place.

TC: Very clever Rob. I think I'm seeing the real you now. How long have you been an anarchist?

Rob: I'm not an antichrist. I love Jesus, I ...

TC: ... Cryptic crosswords and anagrams aren't your thing are they Rob. Richard, you're very quiet, Have you got an opinion on life?

Richard: I’d say life is more like a violin jazz chart on the eve of Judgement Day—you play your heart out, hoping you don’t hit a sour note.

TC: I feel like I've heard that before. Is it AI generated?

Rob: (Spluttering) That's mine. That was from my interview. I've got a good mind ...

TC:  ... now Rob, don't exaggerate. Speaking of exaggeration,  Richard, your blog, 'Richard’s Bass Bag' has quite the following been around for a while. You could say that, like Christianity it's long past its use-by date don't you think?

Rob: I’ll drink to that! Richard, Richard ... what's up? Why have you gone silent?

Richard:

Rob: Come on older and wiser brother, he was only joking.

Richard:

TC: I know how to get him talking Rob ... Richard - how about playing us a double bass solo?

Richard looks up suspiciously to see if this was a ruse.

Robert: Come on big brother - give us a tune.

Richard gets out the double bass, sets it up and bows a few notes. He looks pleased

TC: There we go. It's all good now Rob. Everyone talks during a double bass solo.

Rob and TC chuckle.

TC: I think we'd better wrap things up now guys. As old T.S. Eliot said:

"Good night, ladies, good night, sweet ladies, good night, good night."

Rob: Amen to that! Although, I'm not sure that I like you calling me a lady.

TC chuckles.

Richard: Harrumph!