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The scripture wars have taken off with Robert firing off parables like Hamas's Qassam unguided solid-propellant rockets which are usually misdirected and generally ineffective causing confusion more than anything else. Unguided is the operative word for both the real rockets and Robert's metaphorical ones.
The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ, in order to protect itself has had to resort to using anti-missal (see what I did there) defence systems not unlike the Iron Dome Tamir interceptor missiles. The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ uses wit, irony and, if pushed, sarcasm. If things don't quiet down it will have to resort to using its own arsenal of offensive weapons - satire, repartee and lampoonery.
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Four of Robert's last seven posts have consisted of badly written parables from the Gospels that his priests have launched from the pulpit at Mass. Given that these priests don't do anything nowadays without the direction of the Vatican, it's evident that the Catholic Church is mounting some sort of campaign against procrastinators and non-believers. I guess that attendance rates have been falling and the takings are down, The Vatican's finance department has reported losses so the marketing and sales departments have been gingered along to reverse the trend. Well, that's my theory anyway.
Let it be known that The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ takes the Israeli/Palestinian conflict seriously and that we are very disturbed by the shocking images of attacks and counter-attacks shown on TV.
If there really was a god though, any god, this would not be happening or they could stop this.
4 comments:
Yes, but who won the quiz?
I know that Robert will get all of the answers wrong but I need to be fair and give him a chance to submit an entry.
Whether he does so or not will not change the fact that there were no winners in this competition so the Holy potato chip will remain the property of The Curmudgeons Inc.*
* In the interests of full disclosure I should admit that I've already eaten it. Like Robert with his Communion hosts this gave me a wondrous tingly feeling inside of me just as if Jesus had entered me with his mighty spirit. *Swoon*.
Just take it easy on the wine after that.
Potato Chips and Wine Pairings
You’ll be surprised at just how amazing potato chips can taste when paired with the right wine. Simple yet satisfying, guest blogger and Wine Guide, Brittany Loveless, explains the why and how to pair chips with your most-loved glass of wine!
Wine tastes great with all kinds of food, and pairings don’t have to be fancy. With all of the endless flavor styles to choose from, wine pairs especially well with everyone’s favorite- potato chips!
Why does this popular snack work so well with wine? Potato chips contain a lot of salt, and salt plays a huge role in the wine pairing process. In high acidic whites like Sauvignon Blanc or Pinot Grigio, salt softens the acidity. With red wines, salt softens the astringency of the tannins, making the wine not appear as sharp or drying on the tongue. What also makes this dynamic duo work so well is the acidity from the wine also tones down the saltiness in the chip.
When you throw in some different chip flavors, other common pairing rules also come into play.
Classic
2020 Three Hearts, Fizzy White Wine
Simple and salted and such a classic go-to, especially when paired with a bubbly like our 2020 Three Hearts, Fizzy White Wine! This fizzy white wine has high acidity and the prickle of the bubbles acts as a palate cleanser from the salt and fat, preparing you for the next bite of chip!
Sour Cream and Onion
These chips have an onion and milk based dust that have a sharp, tangy creaminess with a nice zing. The tropical fruit flavors and kick of acidity found in Chardonnay contrasts nicely with the saltiness in this chip. Try pairing with our 2020 Peekaboo, Chardonnay!
Barbecue
2020 Pearls & Kicks, Rosé
Barbecue chips get their flavor from a wide range of ingredients—honey powder, onion powder, garlic powder, hickory smoke powder, barley malt powder, tomato powder and sugar. Dry Rosé, like our 2020 Pearls & Kicks, works great with these chips by bringing out the sweetness without overwhelming. Want to go bold and bring out more smokiness in the chip? Try a red wine, like our 2019 Bailando, Malbec.
Salt and Vinegar
A common rule to pairing wine and food is serving like with like. In this case, tangy with tangy! In order to match the vinegary twang in these chips, you’ll need a wine that has a good punch of acidity. Sauvignon Blanc or a Grüner Veltliner would be a great match to take on these bold tasting chips! For the perfect pair, try with our 2019 Lulo Grüner Veltliner.
2020 Fissata Blonde, Fizzy White Wine
Jalapeño
These spicy chips pack a punch of heat and typically do best with a sweeter wine, such as our 2020 Fissata Blonde, Fizzy White Wine. This combination works so well because the residual sugar in the wine coats the tongue, which reduces the fiery feeling in the mouth without detracting from the flavors in the wine. It even goes as far to deepen the natural fruit flavors in the wine!
Invite your friends over and try these easy pairings at your own free, at-home wine tasting! Connect with your Wine Guide or just ask us how!
- Brittany Loveless.
Mind you, maybe Brittany wouldn't be loveless if she cooked something nice to go with some decent wine like a Hawkes Bay Chardonnay.
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