Church usher
"Sorry Jesus, I told you before: no sandals allowed".
"Mary, please leave your donkey outside."
" Sorry big bro - we only allow church organ playing at services. Take that whatchamacallit away."
" Peter, this isn't BYO. You can't bring those communion hosts in here."
Uninvited guest at wedding.
"I have a right to be here. I have to check the toilets to make sure no LGBQT people are in there."
"Jesus invited me and asked me to bring in several big jars of water."
A random guy at church
"I don't care if this is the suit you buried your father in - I bought it fair and square at the Op shop."
"You talkin' to me? Well, are you punk .... oh, sorry Saint Joseph - carry on."
That old uncle who turns up to family dos for a free feed
"Now when I was a lad I used to have to walk to school ... for miles. You young kids don't know how good you have it."
"OK, I won't tell your dad as long as you give me a puff."
6 comments:
Very naughty!
Much better than those gardening posts though!
Okay, I did enjoy it.
🤣😂
Yes I did think it was witty
'Sorry big bro - we only allow church organ playing at services. Take that whatchamacallit away."
Quite right. Vatican II said that we should use Organs at church, and not all those whatchamacallits that have crept in! I actually agree; at Mass on Sunday there was an amplified band and they started practising a half hour before! Vatican II also said that there should be 'referent silence'. When I played with my brothers we wouldn't even tune up before a concert, we were expected to walk on the stage prepared!
Are harps OK or do those only apply after death?
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