WHAT IS THIS GUY SAYING?

 

Church usher

"Sorry Jesus, I told you before: no sandals allowed".

"Mary, please leave your donkey outside."

" Sorry big bro - we only allow church organ playing at services. Take that whatchamacallit away."

" Peter, this isn't BYO. You can't bring those communion hosts in here."

Uninvited guest at wedding.

"I have a right to be here. I have to check the toilets to make sure no LGBQT people are in there."

"Jesus invited me and asked me to bring in several big jars of water."

A random guy at church

"I don't care if this is the suit you buried your father in - I bought it fair and square at the Op shop."

"You talkin' to me? Well, are you punk .... oh, sorry Saint Joseph - carry on."

That old uncle who turns up to family dos for a free feed

"Now when I was a lad I used to have to walk to school ... for miles. You young kids don't know how good you have it."

"OK, I won't tell your dad as long as you give me a puff."