THE ROAD TO PREDATION*

Peter and Noel at the Upland Road flat.

Richard called. He sounded desperate and needed help. Peter knew Richard from school and university in Wellington and often took what Richard said 'with a grain of salt'.

A grain of salt

It was usually more advisable to take what Richard says with a decent glass of alcoholic beverage but that's another story. Richard, in short was a fantasist.

"What's he imagining now" Peter thought as he busied himself with some housework in the flat he shared with Noel. Noel, in short wasn't a fantasist. He was just short.

Richard's appeal did sound a bit desperate though and a trip away would be preferable to scrubbing Noel's pee stains off the bathroom floor so Peter packed a bag, making sure that he had a good stash of that 1974 San Perino Sparkling Chardonnay, from a little known wine region in France but near the Italian border that Richard had discovered. He winced at the thought of drinking it but thought that it would be a step up from the usual crap that Richard drank like McWilliams Cream sherry HERE

Richard had left Wellington to go with Tony to Christchurch Teacher's Training College. I guess that he thought there would be young women on the course, something that he hadn't yet discovered while doing a music degree at university. It seemed that all the women he met on those courses preferred to have a cello between their legs.

Peter smiled at the thought and, for some reason thought of Robyn who was an ex 'girlfriend' of both Richard and Tony. She was a lot of woman that one so no wonder she needed a couple of suitors.

Richard was now working in Taumarunui, having completed his Christchurch studies and was setting out on that road to ........ no, we're getting ahead of ourselves there ...... he was embarking on a teaching career that would take him to far flung places of the universe the world New Zealand mostly forgotten New Zealand. Richard was a bit odd, a fantasist as said earlier and had grandiose ambitions (he once declared himself a king!) but he was a friend and friends helped each other. Peter set off for Taumarunui in his trusty Hillman Super Minx.

Note: The brakes had been repaired after Mike burned them out at the W(h)anganui folk festival.

Richard, meanwhile was fussing and fretting in his motel in Taumarunui. He was too agitated to go to school for his classes and had telephoned in pretending to be ill. Miss Daken, the old battle-axe who worked for the principal Mr De'ath took the call and sneered "I'll tell him but he won't be pleased". This agitated Richard further so he had to have an aspirin and a wank to calm his nerves. The reason that Richard was agitated was that Robyn, who he knew from Wellington had tracked him down and said that she was on her way for a visit. With her sister! Richard hadn't met the sister but went white at the thought. 

Robyn on her own had nearly killed him. Now there would be two of them. He needed help. He needed Peter.

Peter, unaware of the danger was steadily making his way to Taumaranui. Actually that wasn't strictly correct as at that time Peter drove his car really fast. He was rapidly making his way to Taumarunui, smiling to himself at the recollection of an epic crap he had at Roger's parents holiday house at Mangaweka as he barrelled past the little Rangitikei village.

When he arrived at Taumarunui and eventually found the motel that Richard lived in, given that Richard's directions were like the score from a Penderecki composition, he discovered that Richard wasn't alone. Robyn answered the door to the unit and was flanked (if at all possible) by another woman who she introduced as her sister. She was taller than Robyn but not as broad but both of them completely filled the doorway.**

Lurking in the background, just visible and visibly nervous was Richard wearing his standard uniform of the time - car dealer pants, paisley shirt and tie and a vest.

He tittered and said "Hi, um, thanks for coming, um, let's go ...... let's go to the club"

(To be continued).




*With apologies to Sir Sam Mendes


** It must be said that both Robyn and her sister were really nice women and completely undeserving of mockery but this is a blog and the rider at the top of the home page states: 

THE CURMUDGEONS INC. wishes to advise readers that any news, snippets of information, comments, editorials etc in this blog is near enough to the truth but we cannot guarantee accuracy, fairness or unbias. In the interest of satirical humour we expect readers to understand this.