Tuesday 24 March 2020

LET US PRAY

I told Robert that I'd make a start on some prayers for the day given that the ones he says are pretty naff. They are out of date having been written in different times that had no connection with the problems we face today.

Here goes:

Number One


Dear Big Guy
Up there in heaven
Or maybe elsewhere since you're supposed to be omnipresent
How's it going?
We're OK for bread although flour isn't on the supermarket shelves anymore,
Buy you could give us a virus antidote.
If things get tough Bro we might have to jump the fence and encroach on your safe territory.
You'll have to forgive us on that.
It's not a threat but if your old enemy Satan has a better offer, you know, we might be tempted.
Just saying.


Some people believe in the power of prayer especially this American Dick:







11 comments:

Richard (of RBB) said...

Is his name really Dick?

THE CURMUDGEON said...

He's a big enough dick to warrant a capital D.

Richard (of RBB) said...

Oh lord up in heaven,
Whose name should be Bevan,
When you've stopped scratching your crack,
Can you take your virus back?

THE CURMUDGEON said...

That's good - it should keep Robert happy.*








*Not.

THE CURMUDGEON said...

An old fashioned god called the christ
Like his dad was not very nice
He sent the earth Miley Cyrus
And later a virus
Saying this is payback for all that vice.

THE CURMUDGEON said...

A struggling poet named Peter
Could write but had no idea of metre
'though he struggled with rhyme
His blank verse was just fine
And his wordplay was a world beater.

THE CURMUDGEON said...

A Governor who people called Dick
Was really a stupid young prick
His efforts with scripture
And talks of the rapture
Succeeded in making everyone sick

Richard (of RBB) said...

God, I'm here to pray for Pete,
Who is much taller than five feet.
I know you get some prayers from Rob,
Even when he's on the job.
He shouts the rosary in the street,
On every single road and block.
I'd just like to know before I face the heat,
Is it true you have no cock?

THE CURMUDGEON said...

Go directly to Hell
Of Go do not pass
If you act like a fool
Then when you go back to school
You'll get the worst class.

- GOD

Richard (of RBB) said...

If god were a mod
He'd add to his bod
It wouldn't look odd
A cylindrical rod.

THE CURMUDGEON said...



https://tenor.com/view/horror-dead-haunted-nun-spirit-gif-9195278