* Not what you think.
I dismantled one of the soft-close toilet seats yesterday.
"What on earth are you doing?" Asked The Old Girl.
"I'm fixing the toilet seat which is starting to bang down" I replied "I think that I need to re-grease the damper".
"Whatever floats your boat she said "but don't break anything".
So, I set about the job having first done a Google search on the procedure. As per usual the internet instruction was for a completely different model than the ones we have but, undeterred, I set about dismantling one of them. This wasn't as easy as you might think as there are hidden screws and bolts that the internet demonstrators don't bother telling you about. On checking comments from other viewers I discovered that I wasn't alone in having difficulties as many other blokes lamented that their manhood was in question as they were unable to get the bloody toilet seat off. Getting a torch and nosing close to the seat (thank Robert's previous god that The Old Girl is home and that the standard of bathroom and toilet cleaning has gone up exponentially) I discovered a tiny hole at each end of the hinge cylinders that housed an even tinier screw that could only be undone with a miniscule Allen key. Luckily I had one of these. I was finally able to disengage the seat from the bolts affixing it to the toilet pan. I took the whole thing outside to a bench and (after referring to the internet again) ascertained how to remove the cylinders which hold the dampers.
The next step was to see if I could dismantle the dampers to apply more silicon grease.
There didn't seem to be anyway to do this so once again I looked up the internet this time using the brand name (Haro) prefixing the word 'damper'. It turns out that the 'dampers' are disposable and are made in China. I could order some (2) but the minimum orders were between 100 and 1,000. The price per unit was listed as 95 cents USD. OK, no.
Looking further I discovered a German site that offered the units in single orders.
Price? 126.00 Euro each! OK, definitely no.
I did a further search and found the Chinese description of the damper. This looks like they contracted Robert to write the product description for them:
Product Description
The internal structural design is vane. Soft close Toilet Seat Damper is to provide an opposition to the movement. Soft close toilet seat Rotary Damper can make the movement softly, safely and silently. This Toilet Seat Vane Damper application is for toilet seat. The Vane Damper used in both side of the lid, and keep the lid drop softly. It is safe and silently. The damping direction of the Vane Dampers with continuous rotation can be clockwise, counter clockwise, or in both directions. In vane dampers with continuous rotation, a fluid damping is produced by the shearing or braking force of silicon fluids resistance between the surfaces of a rotor and a stator. The damping moment is determined by the viscosity of the fluid and the size of the orifice or gap. The damping characteristics can be customized by changing the viscosity of the silicon fluid or by changing the structure of the rotor and stator. ABD toilet seat vane dampers are easy to install. Once installed, they are increasing equipment life and reducing maintenance expenses.
Welcome to purchase high quality and precise toilet seat Rotary Dampers from A.B.D. Equipment Co., Ltd. - one of the leading such manufacturers and suppliers. We have been specialized in this field for many years. If you are interested in any of toilet seat rotary dampers or would like to discuss a custom order, please feel free to contact us. We are looking forward to forming successful business relationships with new clients around the world in the near future.
I gave up at this stage and reassembled the unit (surprisingly with no bits left over for a change) and told The Old Girl. Actually I told her that I had bad news and she immediately supposed that I'd munted the toilet seat and we would have to dig a hole in the garden (or use the guest toilet). Oh she of little faith. The toilet seat soft close mechanism now works no better (or worse) than before I started.
If I can't find any silicon fluid for - "changing the viscosity of the silicon fluid or by changing the structure of the rotor and stator" I think I'll start looking for deals on a whole new seat.
9 comments:
I read it! It was a little like reciting fifty Hail Marys. But I read every word!
Good man.
You can have 2,000 special indulgences which might get you off about a million years of purgatory.
Enjoy!
You could have just said, "I tried to fix the toilet seat but I couldn't."
Yes, I could have just said that but where's the fun in it? I prefer to make you read through a whole lot of shit ..... oh, I guess you do read your own posts after you've written them to correct all the errors before posting them.
As you were.
Yes, everyone enjoys the posts on Richard's Bass Bag.*
* the original bass bagging site
In times of scarcity silly people rush to consume all sorts of unpalatable rubbish.
Well, send them over to Richard's Bass Bag!
* the original bass bagging site
YES, THAT'S WHAT I WAS INFERRING.
We bought a new 'Soft Close' toilet seat and I've fitted that.
Post a Comment