CELLO! HOW ARE YOU?

 We have had reports that an old man named Hector (not his real name) was found acting in a strange manner on the Nuova Lazio Golf Course.

His wife, Shelley contacted us for advice. We spoke to her:

"I was worried about Hector (not his real name)" said Shelley. "He was acting strangely, well, even more strangely this morning - mumbling about lost balls, creeks, ponds and tee shots. He said that he didn't feel his normal self which was weird because I had seen him feeling himself, as per usual, in the bathroom. He said that he'd go to the golf course and have a pizzicato. He grabbed his cello (not its real name) and headed out to his car.  I decided to follow him. I waited until he'd left the drive and headed off down the street. I waited about 10 minutes knowing that, at the rate that he drove, I'd still catch up to him well before he got to the main road. When I spotted his car I slowed down to his speed much to the annoyance of all the traffic behind me and we crawled our way to the Nuova Lazio Golf Club which they call 'Riskend' for some reason.

.

He took his cello (not its real name) out of the car and marched out to the course. The only other person there was a stately-looking older gentleman who had a magnificent set of nearly new golf clubs. Hector (not his real name) saw this gentleman and quickly (as far as he can do anything quickly - except 'that') hid behind a tree trunk. He pulled out ........ a bow and arrow set and fired an arrow.

The arrow went nowhere near the gentleman who had hit a tremendous tee shot down the fairway seemingly going much further than he was used to as he had trouble finding the ball. Hector (not his real name) fired another arrow which went about 6 feet and lay limply on the grass. "Bastardo" he swore and picked up his cello (not its real name) and ran towards the golfer. When he was near he threw the cello (not its real name) but the elderly golfer had disappeared. He had gone down the ravine that ran to the left of the fairway to look for golf balls.

Hector's (not his real name) cello (not its real name) sailed out over the edge and down into the ravine, landing in the water. the elderly guy seemed perplexed but seeing that it wasn't a golf ball, paid  no attention to the pile of broken wood and wire that was floating away."

Shelley reported that Hector (not his real name) left his cello (not its real name) and went back to his car. She followed, easily overtaking him along the coast road and arrived home 15 minutes before he did. She made some scones and coffee which was waiting when Hector (not his real name arrived.

"Nice day?" she asked but only received a grunt in reply. At least she'd get some peace for a while now that the cello (not its real name) was out of action.

BORED? THREE

 Yes, I know - I said that I wouldn't do another 'Bored?' golf post but I thought you might like to know that I played golf again today.

The Old Girl suggested that I go. 

"Why don't you go out and play with your new toys?"  she asked today, obviously wanting to get me out of the house for a while because she had a couple of conference calls scheduled.

I took the hint and headed out after lunch.

The new clubs performed really well and I hit some great tee and fairway shots. I hit them so well though that I lost 3 balls - on the fairway. My usual shots had a tendency to slice so I'm used to looking to the right of the fairway to see where the balls go. These new clubs hit the ball straighter and slightly to the left (because I aim there) so I wasn't following the flight path properly. Three times in the first four holes my tee shot disappeared. The balls took off well but when I looked for them on the fairway they were nowhere to be seen - obviously suckered. My follow-up shots were good though and I enjoyed trying out the various clubs.

The irons hit the ball true and I was confident with the putter but ......THREE BALLS DOWN!

On the last hole I played, my favourite the par 4 that runs alongside the creek I spied three balls in the water. I quickly went down and, with my trusty ball retriever* fished them out. EVEN. I was happy.

But wait! There's more.

As I went down to the creek I was attacked by an aggressive pukeko.

This little bastard kept having a go at me and I had to chase him off several times. He would wait until my back was turned and then fly up at me. I had to extend the ball retriever and wave it about like a light sabre to get him away. I know that there must have been a nest nearby that he was protecting but ...... three golf balls! I knew what was my priority.

 

* The trusty ball retriever.

BORED? - TWO

 I wasn't going to write a follow-up to BORED?  after Robert of the Catastrophic Catholic View managed to corner the market on boring posts. Richard of the bass bag fame, that reasonably well known fishing blog enjoyed the post however and has been pressuring me for a follow-up. Obviously I never listen to Richard but today I received a comment from Google Blogger asking for an update so - here it is.

PART ONE

Yesterday was sunny and calm so, instead of going for a walk I headed out to play golf. As I lined up the tee shot on the first hole I realised that I'd left my golfing glove at home. I hit a terrible drive which disappeared somewhere to the left of the fairway - never to be seen again (at least not by me).

I skipped the hole and went on to the second and once again hit a crappy drive. The club seemed to twist in my hand. I tried a fairway wood shot next and managed to hit the ball nearly sideways. These were the worst holes that I'd played for many years.  I decided that it was the lack of a glove that was causing the problem. Now I don't know if this is a physical issue where wearing the glove provides better grip or if it's a psychological thing where because I think that 'wearing the glove provides better grip' I just hit poor shots. Maybe Robert, with or without the support of the catechism, Trent Horn and Bishop Putchahandinmipoket can tell us. I gave up.

I decided to walk the course and not play any more golf. I'd only headed out anyway for the exercise, remember, so walked all of the most scenic and challenging holes (hilly ones). At the far Western edge of the course, as I was walking along the par 3-13th hole I looked through the deer fence at a ball that was tantalisingly too far away for my trusty extendible ball retriever to reach. Bugger as Richard would most likely say. I was about to move away when an old guy (about my age) called out if he could help me. He was dressed in wet weather gear even though it was sunny and was wearing gumboots. I lied to him that my ball was out in the paddock as it had clipped a tree branch and headed off to the left. He walked over and retrieved the ball and asked if I wanted him to fetch any other ones. I didn't tell him about the 800 plus balls I have in the shed, instead telling him that the way I play golf I need plenty of balls. He looked around and found a whole lot more and handed them to me through the fence. We had a chat and I discovered that he wasn't the farmer but was a resident in the gated community named the farm estate or something and had been there for three years. The residents each have their large houses and gardens but are free to wander around the farm which he does for exercise. He wandered off and I headed back along the fairway hoping he wouldn't wonder why I wasn't playing any shots.

PART TWO

When I got home I told The Old Girl how I'd played the worst golf for years. She was sympathetic and said "never mind, maybe tomorrow you can do better".

This was music to my ears because I was up to something. I had a secret.

This was Monday and, on Sunday I had successfully outbid some others for a  golf set on Trade Me. I hadn't told The Old Girl about this just in case the clubs were rubbish and I would have to re-list them. I'd arranged with the seller that I'd collect them this afternoon, after tennis.

After tennis I told The Old Girl that I was off to play golf as she had suggested and went to the seller's house. The golf clubs are fantastic. She was happy to sell them and I'm happy to have bought them. They are in pristine condition and are a very reliable brand. They cost $150 but I had checked on-line and saw that overseas a set like this, second hand, go for about $800. On the way home, after going to Rebel Sport to buy a new golf glove I stopped off at the golf course and tried out the clubs. I played 6 holes and ..... played the best golf thatI've played for years. When I got home I told The Old Girl this and confessed about my secret. We agreed that I'd get rid of the other old sets of golf clubs in the shed which I've arranged to donate to the local school.

Was it the new clubs or was it the new glove I hear you ask.

Who knows.

I'll keep you posted.

HE WAS A WEASLY SCROTE THEN ....

 ... AND IS A WEASLY SCROTE NOW, ONLY OLDER AND SILLIER.

KOHN KEY LIKENS NEW ZEALAND TO NORTH KOREA

The former Prime Monster thinks that New Zealanders live in  “smug hermit kingdom” and has spent the past few days comparing New Zealand’s response to the Covid-19 pandemic to life in North Korea.

“The aim should no longer be to exist in a smug hermit kingdom, but to get back to a life where New Zealanders can travel overseas – for any reason – knowing they can return home when they want to, and where we again welcome visitors to this country,” he wrote on Stuff – and repeated the sentiment across newspapers and airwaves over the weekend. “Some people might like to continue the North Korean option. I am not one of them,” he continued.

What a fucking egg. He's lost it ....... but he was an embarrassment to New Zealand when he was PM so why should he change now. Remember when he made a fool of himself by ingratiating himself (and the country) on that odious David Letterman show? JOHN KEY ON LETTERMAN  and when he repeatedly pulled on the ponytail of an Auckland waitress which wasn't the only time he'd done that.

To liken New Zealand to North Korea is plain stupid and the worst form of politicking. Is he trying to denigrate New Zealand and, by default Jacinda Ardern in order to boost the failing Judith Collins?

New Zealand is in no way like North Korea which:

• Has no opposition party
• Has massive food shortages
• Is belligerent to the Western world
• Doesn't allow criticism of its leader.
• Doesn't have a free press.
• Is a repressive dictatorship.
• Does not allow free travel of its citizens (even without a pandemic)
• And so many more things.

This idiot should bugger off to his overseas properties and dabble in his wealth speculation.

His little contribution was all noise and no substance though.

 

BORED?

 CHAIRMAN OF THE BORED

OK, that was fun but if you want to be bored you can:

• Go over to Richard's Bass Bag and read about banjo strings and how he's been practising  for an upcoming hootenanny.

• Read A Catholic's View to become confused as Robert tries to explain free will. (Be warned, you will give up the will to live if you dally there).

• Or, you can continue reading here to learn about my latest golfing exploits.

**************************

Oh, you're still here. Let's carry on.

Yesterday afternoon I went to play a few holes of golf. I checked in on the automatic machine to register being on the course (Covid requirement) and to get a card. I entered the back nine instead of the front nine but no matter, no one is likely to check my scores.

I teed off on the first hole with what seemed like a pretty good wood shot but ..... it disappeared. I thought that it should have been just to the left of the green but ..... nothing. The ball was gone. Bugger! I moved on to the next hole.

On hole two I teed off with a long drive that went to the left side of the fairway. When I walked down, through the soft and muddy grass I found that the ball ..... was exactly where I thought it would be. I used a fairway wood and hit a really nice shot that ended up just to the left of the green. A chip and a putt gave me a par 4.

On the third hole I hit a cracker of a tee shot that unfortunately was just a bit to the left and the ball clipped a branch of a massive tree. "That's OK" I thought "it'll have dropped down on to the fairway. When I walked to where I thought the ball would be .....it wasn't there! I searched and searched. Nothing. Bugger! I dropped another ball and hit another really good fairway wood shot which, to me, seemed to have landed on the green. When I reached the green there was no ball. I searched around the green in ever increasing circles but .... nothing. No ball. Bugger!

Three balls lost in three holes!

I teed off on the 4th, hitting a really nice shot down the fairway and walked down and parked my golf trolley next to the ball. I quickly headed right, to the creek and went down the bank (carefully as it was slippery - don't tell The Old Girl). Obviously earlier golfers hadn't risked getting wet and muddy so I found 8 golf balls. Good ones. This made me 5-up. Beauty!

I hit a beautiful 3-iron shot to the back of the green. Pitch and putt and another par 4.

I then walked down to the end of the 10th hole as I wanted to play the interesting 11th. A reasonable tee shot to the right of the fairway was followed by a nice fairway wood shot to the green that, unluckily, just fell short and splashed into the pond. Bugger! I wasn't able to retrieve the ball as it was out of reach of my extendable ball retriever but I did find another ball. Still 5 up. Beauty. I didn't finish the hole but wandered into the grove of mangroves with a swamp below and found another ball. 6 up.

I then played the 17th hole and the fairway was very boggy after the tremendous rainfalls we've had recently. My second shot using a 5-iron should have been near the green but when I got there it was nowhere around. I checked in the cup just in case, as it was on this hole a few months ago I scored an eagle 2 with a fairway wood shot to the green (I can provide a link to a post I wrote about this if you want. No problem just ask). The ball was lost though and I figured that as the ground was boggy it may have 'suckered' and due to the boggy fairway the greenkeepers hadn't mown the grass as much as the normally do so it was hard to see where the ball 'suckered'. This is probably what happened to those other balls that 'disappeared' on the other fairways - I'm sure that you wondered about that. Now 5 up.

I abandoned this hole and played the 18th. This is a par 3 hole with a narrow fairway with bloody big trees on each side. The green is elevated and on two levels so, if you are lucky (or good enough) to miss the trees you still have to have enough 'carry' to land up on the green. I normally hit a tree or end up just below and to the right of the green. This time I teed off at the extreme right edge of the tee area and hit a beautiful shot using the fairway wood. The ball just missed the trees on the left, arced up to the green, landed and rolled right and hit the flagpole. Beauty. Almost a hole in one. When I got to the green the ball was only about 18 inches away for an easy putt and a birdie 2.

The result -  some very nice and satisfying shots, 5 balls lost but ten found.

If you want to read more about my golfing exploits feel free to ask and I can provide links for you, or, you can just enter 'golf' in the search panel on the blog home page.  No problem.

OH WHAT A LOVELY WAR

 

New Zealand has been 'lucky' so far with the Covid-19 pandemic in that the virus hasn't taken hold in the way that it has in other countries, resulting in huge numbers of deaths and crippling health facilities.

We aren't out of it yet though and unless vaccination number drastically increase then we will always be at risk of more outbreaks necessitating lockdowns. The situation isn't helped though by irresponsible 'church' leaders like Brian Tamaki and the ill-informed anti mask and anti-vaccination people who are spreading mis and dis-information largely to further their own stupid platforms of anti-establishment, god's will and conspiracy theory. The pandemic should be treated as if it was a global war - one that New Zealand is involved in albeit how unwittingly. As such 'war governance' rules should be put in place to make vaccination 100% mandatory. 

New Zealand is a liberal and democratic country however and there will be pushback against such measures:

Covid 19 Delta outbreak: No jab, no job? Experts question legality of potential workplace policy.

Individuals have a right to make their own decisions about medical treatment, which includes vaccinations, say legal experts. 

Employment law experts are warning bosses against rushing to introduce mandatory Covid-19 vaccination for staff, which may conflict with individual and privacy rights.

No jab, no job policies introduced around the world have already created controversy.

Across the Tasman, the Victorian state government announced those in the construction industry are now required to show evidence they have had a first vaccine dose after public health officials become concerned about transmission in the sector.

It sparked days of protests and unrest in Melbourne this week by an assortment of construction workers, anti-vaxxers, lockdown opponents, so-called "freedom defenders" and conspiracy theorists.

In the United States, more companies are also requiring employees to be vaccinated, while President Joe Biden introduced an "action plan" this month that would affect tens of millions of people.

The plan involves private companies with more than 100 workers ensuring staff are vaccinated or tested weekly, which has led to state governors threatening lawsuits and Biden being labelled a dictator by Republicans.

Back in New Zealand, a frontline border protection officer was fired after refusing to get vaccinated. Customs NZ was then cleared by Employment Relations Authority this month of any wrongdoing, which ruled it was justified in dismissing the unvaccinated worker in April.

Sam Hurley - New Zealand Herald

In the First World War the New Zealand government took drastic steps to suppress activities which might undermine the war effort with the passing of The War Regulations Act in 1914.

 

In 1914 the New Zealand government moved quickly to strengthen the rule of law and keep the country focused on winning the war. It used the Post and Telegraph and Defence departments to monitor mail communications and newspaper reporting, and gave the police and courts broad powers to arrest and punish those who obstructed the achievement of the government’s priorities. From late 1916 Police and Defence shared responsibility for enforcing conscription, with defaulters ultimately facing incarceration in a public prison. These enforcement efforts took all those involved into new territory.

           POLICING THE WAR EFFORT

In the Second World War the New Zealand government similarly passed legislation to control food production and supply, conscription, spending, rationing, civil obedience, dissent and many other things that while imposing restrictions on civil liberties were largely accepted as being for the national good.

Emergency regulations & conscription

New Zealand’s Emergency Regulations Act 1939 was passed shortly after the declaration of war. The act gave the government wide powers. In May 1940, an amendment placed people and property in the hands of the government, enabling the introduction of conscription (compulsory military service).

From March 1941, New Zealanders had to dim lights in buildings, streets, and vehicles. The severest restrictions were in coastal towns, which were considered most vulnerable to enemy attack. People used heavy curtains, paper, wood, or paint to black out their windows.

                   WORLD WAR TWO - NEW ZEALAND

I believe that we are facing just as severe a threat, and maybe more, to health and wellbeing with this Covid-19 pandemic and that we should put ourselves on a war footing. Civil liberties of course must be respected but, for the greater good we cannot allow a minority to flout laws and to endanger people.

Compulsory vaccination, including the booster jab, should be enacted and ruthlessly enforced.

The anti-vaxxers, conspiracy theorists and aluminum foil hat wearers will just have to suck it up.

STAYING CONNECTED

 

I watched an excellent Icelandic 'Nordic Noir' series on Netflix called TRAPPED.

One of the characters who was housebound in a wheelchair, kept track of his neighbours through his telescope. He was able to keep the police informed of illegal goings-on and added to the a 'narrative' for the series.

My telescope keeps me connected with goings-on in the bay and today, as it's wet and cold and windy I don't have the telescope set up on the deck but I have it looking out the side door window close to where I'm sitting at the dining table (The Old Girl is (still) using my study as her office).

Here I get a chance to, again. provide a link to that excellent Grateful Dead track 'Box of Rain'.

BOX OF RAIN

The Old Guys - Mike, Tony, Richard and me kept contact last year during the lockdown periods via ZOOM calls. 

Mike, when I spoke with him a few weeks ago said he would set up another call but, to date, nothing has happened. The rest of us leave this to Mike using the excuse that he, having worked in the industry, is media savvy. The truth is that we are just lazy. 

I won't hurry Mike on just yet as Richard will be busy practising for his many gigs now that he's been 'discovered'. Kind of like the dead sea scrolls being dug up thousands of years later , like his posts might be I guess.

INAPPROPRIATE HUMOUR - AN OCCASIONAL SERIES #1

 I'm getting a bit tetchy at the growth of the political correctness movement - now morphed into 'wokeness' and cancel culture. It seems that things that were fun and normal are being  censured now.

I do admit that, in previous generations and times, what was considered funny can now be seen as cruel and racist. We have new and hopefully better values now that won't allow new sexist, racist and bullying literature, films and music to see the light of day - although, there has been no control of the internet and social media where, it seems, anything goes and when the bastard tech billionaires get caught they just say sorry and continue.

The 'Me Too' and 'Black Lives Matter' movements are important and I agree with them as long as we are all sensible about it. Rapists and sexual abusers like Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Kevin Spacey, Roman Polanski, Jeffrey Epstein, Jimmy Savile and so far too many others have been exposed and some prosecuted. This is right and fair. Do we refuse to watch their past films or listen to their music though?

Dr Seuss, Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl, A.A. Milne and many others have in recent times been  on the ban lists and, in the USA it's getting silly with Where's Waldo, The Giving Tree, Harriet The Spy and a host of other children's books not being republished.

Golliwogs and those creepy 19th and early 20th century figurines and toys toys shouldn't bee reproduced I agree but, what happens if you own one of these curiosities or antiques? Do you have to destroy it?

Which brings me to the inappropriate humour.

I've never been a fan of those corny old sex and sexist jokes that were a part of at least the generation before me. On the American side they were corny and on the British side they were smutty. Most of them are considered to be in bad taste today ......... which is why I think the best need to be preserved.

Here's #1:

Jenny walks into the doctor's office for a checkup, and the doctor needs to check her heartbeat.

"Pull your sweater up real quick, and I'll use the stethoscope.

There we go, thank you. Big breaths, Jenny."

"Yeth, I know, and I'm only thixthteen!"

• 
  

NEW POST - THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT

 IMAGINARY FRIENDS

NEW POST - THE NEW DIFFERENT TIMEZONE BILL

 

MESSAGE FOR ROBERT

SEND THREE AND FOURPENCE .....

..... WE'RE GOING TO A DANCE.

Here's a snippet from a conversation I was having with The Old Girl (TOG) this morning:

TOG -   "Are you going to tennis today?"

ME: -    "Who's Dennis?" 

TOG: -  "Tennis! Are you going to tennis?"

ME: -    "I don't know anyone named Dennis."

TOG:    "I give up. You need to get yourself a hearing aid you old fool."

ME: -   "Golf? No, I think I'll play tennis. "

TOG: - "Sheesh!"

ME: -   "Who's Dennis?"

The outcome is that I will be booking in for a hearing test when we get down to level one or less.

I think I need a hearing aid.

NEW POST - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

 

BAPTISM

"BECAUSE IT'S ALL ABOUT ME."

 You no doubt have heard that statement a lot since it seems to be so prevalent nowadays in the cheap and obnoxious form of news reporting that media has devolved into.

I get incensed at the way news organisations whether via print, television or the web take shortcuts in reporting and default to what some nosy bystander saw or think they saw and buy crappy videos and images from them. The rise of cellphone usage, the ones with megapixel cameras has a lot to answer for as well. It doesn't matter what the event, or supposed event is, there will be a news report featuring Ima Twatt from Eketahuna saying that her best friend's mum's cousin thought she heard a .... , saw a ...... , read that .... etc.

The latest to incense me is the disgusting and invasive journalism over the tragic deaths of three little girls in Timaru. It took no time for newspapers and TV news to unearth heartbreaking photographs of the girls, the parents and the family as a once happy unit. Where did they get the images from? I don't know - probably from the individuals Facebook pages.

Today I read on NZ Herald this:

NZ HERALD LINK

"I am shattered. I don't know what to do but I am shattered," the Dickason's former domestic worker Maria Mandy Sibanyoni told TimesLIVE.

Sibanyoni worked as the Dickason family's caregiver for three years.

"I have shared a lot of things with Lauren. Now I am shattered. I am not coping."

She said the family seemed to have an idyllic life, and she loved the three girls."

So, obviously The NZ Herald has picked up a link from some other bastard news service who tracked down this caregiver in South Africa for comment before the children's bodies were hardly cold. Bastards!

Why didn't this woman just tell them to fuck off? OK, she no doubt was in shock but, bloody hell, I would have put the phone down after telling the invasive scrotes where to go. I wouldn't have used the situation to make it 'all about me' by saying "I'm not coping". 

Sheesh!

TROUBLE AT T'MILL

 

The brothers are at it again. This time they're fighting over Robert appropriating a character and image from Richard's blog.

On Richard's blog

Appeared on Robert's blog soon after

Richard's response

Robert had, in his post and a couple of previous posts cut and pasted copies of half the internet so it's not exactly an isolated incidence.

I myself recently copied and edited an entire post of Richard's appropriating it as my own. Obviously I won't do that again as my ratings plummeted and readership settled down to, well, two.

Let's hope that this is just a storm in a teacup.

BAY WATCH

 

I wish.

We had pods of orca and dolphin in the bay today.

This is not unusual but it is rare to have both species around at the same time.

The still, calm conditions with low cloud and a bit of rain seems often to be a backdrop to their appearance. Why? I dont know.

I set the telescope up on the deck to watch them.

I know that this doesn't compare with Richard's post about Paganini's nephew and sin and Robert's copy and paste about borderline personality disorder, but hey - I'm happy.

CLIMB ABOARD.

 

I like this cartoon but in reality there's not much of a race since the fat fuck Collins has imploded the National Party and offers no real opposition as the by-line on the blue bus says.

I saw today that The Vaccine bus will be getting a nickname. Some of the options in the front running are:

• Jabba Waka,

• Shot Bro,

• Jabbin' Wagon,

• Vaxi Taxi.

I kind of like 'Jabba Waka' but If I'd heard about the 'competition' I'd have submitted 'VIRUS BUSTER'.

This is a great initiative and I hope that it gets a lot of lazy bastards vaccinated. Even if we get to 90% though that will leave half a million unvaccinated idiots in the community. It doesn't help when cunts like Brian Tamati go on the web and in the news claiming that vaccination is unnecessary and that the wearing of masks is a waste of time. His claims that 'god will protect' are stupid and very dangerous. I read his claims on a Facebook article yesterday and could hardly believe the support he was getting in the comments from stupid religious people. This bastard's claims are self-serving when he complains that lockdowns are limiting business activities in Auckland. What this shit is rally upset about is that lockdowns are keeping the  fools away from his churches and his takings are down. He and his wife might have to go out and get real jobs.

YEAH RIGHT!

WINDFALL

 

Not fruit but I do sometimes collect wind-fallen lemons from the neighbours on one side, avocados from neighbours on the other side and feijoas from our trees up the back but here I'm talking about selling spirits at auction.

I was looking in the liquor cupboard a few weeks ago and thought that I'd get rid of a few of the old bottles of spirits we have. I've had some of these for nearly 40 years and some of them have never been opened. I had intended to drink or sell them over the years but never got around to it. When we packed up to go to Canada in 2013 I put a lot of old wines in Fitzgerald auction and got some good prices for them. I also sold a bottle of The Macallan 1950 malt and got $2500 for it.

I bought that in 1982 for $100 so it was a pretty good return.

The various other things - ports, bottles of old vodka, whisky, cognacs and liqueurs we stored with our other household possessions. At some stage during storage one of the boxes fell and some items were broken I wrote a pst about this: CAC

Murphy's Law of course dictated that only the more expensive and unopened bottles were broken.

The Royal Household Scotch, circa 1940s would have fetched between a couple of thousand dollars at auction and the Macleay Duff Antique about $500. The Munro's King of Kings was also broken. I'm glad that I'd sold the The Macallan and not stored it.

Over the last few years we've opened and drunk some of the old spirits including another bottle of the Macleay Duff Antique, a couple of Long John Macdonald Scotch, 1940s vodka and some other old cognacs.

As we don't drink a lot of spirits anymore and the last of the old bottles were gathering dust I put them into Webb's on-line auction. Four bottles sold straight away:

Munro King of Kings $220

Remy Martin Club Cognac $150

Haig's Dimple Scotch $100

Long John MacDonald 21 y.o.  Scotch $190

Total $660 less commission, insurance  and GST still netted over $500.

This wasn't bad as I'd been given the Cognac as a sample in the 1980s and the Munro, Macdonald and Haig's I bought at auction when The Distiller's Company were quitting all of their stocks in about 1990. I paid about $10 for each of these.

I also submitted two other old scotches - a bottle of Ushers Extra (circa 1940s) and The Mill Burn Malt (circa 1950s). Webb's put a reserve of $400 on the Usher's and $350 on The Mill Burn but as the Usher's label is damaged and The Mill Burn unknown (the distillery closed down over 40 years ago) there were no takers. I'll send in some other old bottles (port and maybe some cognac) and ask them to relist those Scotches at a reduced price. They cost me nothing as they were unearthed when we were excavating a cellar in an old wine and spirits operation I managed in the 1980s.

So - a windfall - as opposed to that other fall when the box of whiskies fell down in storage.  This will go toward the price of a new smartphone that The Old Girl wants.

Slainthe!

FIVE EASY PIECES*

* No, not the excellent Bob Rafelson film that I've recommended before to you Philistines. That is superb and the best of Jack Nicholson's acting as an angry oil-rigger who has turned his back on family and his past career as a classical pianist.

When he learns that his father is dying, he travels north  to the family home in Washington to visit him.

This is well worth watching but ........

No, the five easy pieces should read as five easy golf balls.

I played golf today for the first time since the beginning of this year's lockdowns. The course has been flooded after the torrential storms we've had over the last couple of weeks and was still boggy. I played some very good shots though, doing a quick nine holes before the rain. I concentrated on tee shots and follow up fairway shots to the greens and only chipped and putted on four of them so the game was quick.

I'd promised The Old Girl that I wouldn't go fossicking for golf balls and, by and large, I kept to that. I did find five golf balls though. Easy ones that were suckered into the fairway or just sitting in the longer grass beside the fairways. I didn't have to go down banks, into creeks or bash through undergrowth to find them. As a result I didn't sustain any injuries and didn't have to hide anything when I returned home.

I didn't tell her that I found five golf balls though.

SEND IN THE CLEAN UP CREW

 I bought a weekly 'Fan Pass' via SKY Sports today. This is so I can watch the All Blacks vs Pumas match on TV live tonight. It costs $20 for a week but that one rugby game is all I want to use it for. I figure that $20 is OK for a top class live match but I do wish that they had a 'Pay to view' option for single events that was a bit cheaper - say $10.

More of this please.

And less of this.

I hope that Richard is going to do the same and not rely on catching up with the game afterwards as, inevitably you can see the result before viewing when you do that. At least, that happens to me. 

I'm pretty certain that Robert won't be watching the game going by his recent comments relating to last week's All Blacks vs Wallabies match.

Robert the apathetic sinner 

"Rugby is a silly game in which grown men pursue a profit by pretending they represent a country which is happy to kill the unborn."

Let's see what the law is regarding abortion in Argentina:

Abortion in Argentina is legal on demand in the first 14 weeks of gestation. The abortion law was liberalized (sic) after the Voluntary Interruption of Pregnancy Bill (Argentina) was passed by the National Congress in December 2020. According to the law, any woman can request the procedure at any public or private health facility. Doctors are legally bound to either perform it or, if they are conscientious objectors, refer the patient to another physician or health facility.  - Wikipedia

Uh oh. I guess that Argentina is another Catholic country that Robert won't be emigrating to. I think that he's running out of options

He could try El Salvador, Nicaragua, or the Dominican Republic in South and Central America. These have the bonus of being Catholic countries but can be a mite dangerous and if he didn't get shot, stabbed or macheted to death might contract Covid. 

There are some African countries he might consider like Angola, Egypt, Republic of Congo or Senegal but I doubt that he'd like it there.

The Middle East and the sub-continent is a possibility with Iraq and now Afghanistan joining Pakistan in prohibition but good luck with him banging on about god, Jesus and the holy ghost in those countries.

The Philippines, some Pacific Island nations and a few in South East Asia prohibit abortions but they probably condone sex-trafficking and a lot of other nasty things so I wouldn't recommend it.

There a re a few minor European countries that have outright prohibition but none of these speak Latin. It's a pity that he didn't follow Richard's example and learn Italian as he might get by in Malta which has very repressive ant-abortion laws.

No, it really looks like Robert's best option is The Vatican. They are anti-abortion there, speak Latin in some circles and are extremely tolerant of priests and other religious people fiddling with little boy's genitals.

"SEND IN THE CLEAN-UP CREW"

MEMORIES - AN OCCASIONAL SERIES: USE THE CAT

 USEFUL CAT

Years ago, when I was about 8 and my brother 10, we used to, before bedtime, fight over who was to get the cat to keep their feet warm.

Checkers was the cat's name - a lovely cuddly little black and white number.

Not Checkers but similar

Terry and I would try to grab Checkers to take her off to bed. This usually ended in a scarp that Mum had to sort out.

Eventually we resorted to hiding Checkers earlier and earlier each evening in hideaways around the house. It used to become a hide and seek game with poor old Checkers being: hidden at the back of the hot water cupboard covered in towels; put in a clothes drawer; stuffed at the top of a wardrobe; put in a carton and pushed under a bed - you get the idea.

This went on for ages until - you guessed it - Mum intervened and then taking the cat to bed was forbidden.

K?

 I've written about this before which, of course gives me the opportunity to link to an earlier post*

HERE

AND HERE

Today I declared that I was off to town to buy a few essentials:

• A bicycle pump
• A HDMI to USB connector
• Some microwave cooking dishes

As I was leaving, The Old Girl said she wanted me to go to Briscoe's to buy a mattress protector.

My heart sank. I hate having to buy these things that women are better at buying.

"Can you check on the Briscoe's website and establish exactly what you want?" I said.

"OK" she said, dangerously compliant.

I puttered about waiting, and waiting and waiting .... and eventually interrupted her from what she was doing on her computer.

"I wrote it down for you. It's on the kitchen bench." she said.

I looked and there was a note next to my wallet, phone and car keys. I hadn't seen her doing this as, during my puttering I went to the toilet before my long drive into town.

The note said:

"Hilton So Soft Mattress Protector - should be around $85." 

"Bugger!" I thought. "Not enough information. I need a product number to make sure that I buy the right thing."

I went to the study to ask her clarify bother her but she was on a conference call.

"Bugger!" I thought.

I headed off into town on my quest.

It might as well have been in search of the Holy Grail.

I went to The Warehouse first as I had checked on-line in their website which stated that they stocked the computer connection I needed.

It was out of stock.

"Bugger!" I thought.

I went to the sports and toys section where I had once purchased a bicycle pump.

They were all out of stock.

"Bugger!" I thought.

I left The Warehouse and went to Rebel Sports. After finding the cycling section, before I wasted time looking I asked an assistant to show me where the bicycle pumps were.

"We don't stock those" she said. "We have helmets, padded pants, clips, gloves and 897 other essential cycling items" she said.

"No pumps?" I asked

"No pumps". she said.

"Bugger!" I thought.

I drove to the bike shop where, about a year ago I had new tyres fitted to my bike.

It was closed. Totally closed as in shut down.

"Bugger!" I thought, thinking that soon a 'Sheesh!' would be necessary.

I then went to Noel Leeming in search for a computer connection. This time, as soon as I entered the shop I did what I seldom do - I asked an assistant for, well, assistance. The young woman listened to what I wanted and then led me on a search around the store (no-one setting up this retail operation thought it a good idea to keep all of the computer connections together in the one place). After looking at the offerings from four different locations she said:

"We don't stock that".

"Not for the HDMI to USB" I queried.

"No, we can do HDMI to USB-2, or HDMI to USB-2, or, HDMI to fucking old Uncle Cobley and all."

"Oh" I answered, knowing that, in my head I'd invented that 'Uncle Tom Cobley thing. "So, no luck" I asked.

"No luck" she said "but, why don't you try Jaycar."

I tried Jaycar next. The helpful guy listened to my request and said:

 "We've got what you want but you won't like the price."

"OK, how much?" I asked.

"$129.00". he said and showed me  little bit of plastic and metal.

"We used to have some cheaper ones that, by using two different connectors you could get the same result but .." he said.

"You're out of stock." I answered.

"Bugger!" I thought, and headed off to  Briscoe's to hopefully buy a Hilton So Soft Mattress Protector.

I found the bedding section and, with surprising ease found the mattress protector shelves. There were a lot of Hilton products. I searched and found Hilton So Soft Mattress Protectors.

There were sizes:

• Single
• King Single
• Ultra King.

"Bugger!" I thought and took a photo of the King Single one and sent to The Old Girl with a message to call me urgently. She replied in a couple of minutes.

"What? " she asked.

"That mattress protector you want, is the 'King Single' the one?"

"No" she answered we want 'King'.

"There are no 'Kings'" I said "there's a 'King Singles'. 'Single'. or 'King Ultra'."

"Get a King" she said.

"There are no .... look, I hate doing this, I knew ....."  I started to say.

"I'll sort it" she said "I'll order it on line."

OK. Here am I in the bloody shop and she decides now, to order on-line. I hate doing this type of shopping. I'm not a misogynist. I'm not a chauvinist  but there are some things that men and women cannot agree on. Shopping for clothes, bedding, underwear, toiletries and cosmetics are definitely among them. I left the store.

On the way home I decided to call into an Op shop to see if they had a bicycle pump. They didn't but - the woman at the counter, when I asked said that maybe K-Mart would have them. Off I went to K-Mart. They stocked bicycle pumps and I chose a rather sophisticated pump - certainly grander than the ones I'm used to. "Bugger it!" I thought "I don't care what it costs. It cost $6! I could hardly believe it.

I checked out the computer accessories section - just in case. They stocked the connector I'd been on the hunt for over the last couple of hours. It cost $16!

K Mart, I'm sold.

* The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ takes pride in being able to provide links to previous posts back to 2007 whereas other bloggers in this community, through deleting blogs and posts do not have this vast and important repository to refer to.

DO YOU LOOK GOOD TO ME?

Robert has a new friend - Jordan Peterson. Where does he find them?

 

Listening to Jordan Peterson, a Canadian clinical psychiatrist and professor, I heard an explanation, be it unwittingly on his part.
Jordan Peterson said "Being is maybe a paradoxical state where there is just enough limitation to maximize (sic) possibility. If limitation is the precondition for being then that introduces suffering. If you want being where possibility is maximised then you have to accept the limitations that produce tragedy!". He then gave an example using a rugby field. The only way to maximise possibility is to limit the size of the playing area. Meaning, I think, that if you want to be the best rugby player in the world you will never achieve this if the rugby field is infinite because any one can score.

OK. I'd never heard of Jordan Peterson. I have heard of Oscar Peterson.*

I wonder if they are related. They are both Canadian.

I had a look on the internet to see if Jordan Peterson was another of Robert's nutters. Boy was I surprised.**

Here's a link to a The Guardian article that's worth a look.

HOW DANGEROUS IS JORDAN PETERSON?

It is a long article, so no doubt Robert won't read it, but here are some outtakes:

So, what does Peterson actually believe? He bills himself as “a classic British liberal” whose focus is the psychology of belief. Much of what he says is familiar: marginalised groups are infantilised by a culture of victimhood and offence-taking; political correctness threatens freedom of thought and speech; ideological orthodoxy undermines individual responsibility......... His bete noire is what he calls “postmodern neo-Marxism” or “cultural Marxism”. In a nutshell: having failed to win the economic argument, Marxists decided to infiltrate the education system and undermine western values with “vicious, untenable and anti-human ideas”, such as identity politics, that will pave the road to totalitarianism.

In many ways, Peterson is an old-fashioned conservative who mourns the decline of religious faith and the traditional family, but he uses of-the-moment tactics....... His YouTube gospel resonates with young white men who feel alienated by the jargon of social-justice discourse and crave an empowering theory of the world in which they are not the designated oppressors. Many are intellectually curious. ... His recent sold-out lectures in London had the atmosphere of revival meetings.


Such intense adoration can turn nasty. His more extreme supporters have abused, harassed and doxxed (maliciously published the personal information of) several of his critics. 
Peterson's audience includes Christian conservatives, atheist libertarians, centrist pundits and neo-Nazis

The key to Peterson’s appeal is also his greatest weakness. He wants to be the man who knows everything and can explain everything, without qualification or error......

 This staunch anti-authoritarian also has a striking habit of demonising the left while downplaying dangers from the right. After the 2016 US election, Peterson described Trump as a “liberal” and a “moderate”, no more of a demagogue than Reagan. In as much as Trump voters are intolerant, Peterson claims, it is the left’s fault for sacrificing the working class on the altar of identity politics. Because his contempt for identity politics includes what he calls “the pathology of racial pride”, he does not fully endorse the far right. 

“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”

Yet Peterson’s commitment to unfettered free speech is questionable. Once you believe in a powerful and malign conspiracy, you start to justify extreme measures. Last July, he announced plans to launch a website that would help students and parents identify and avoid “corrupt” courses with “postmodern content”. Within five years, he hoped, this would starve “postmodern neo-Marxist cult classes” into oblivion. Peterson shelved the plan after a backlash, acknowledging that it “might add excessively to current polarisation”. Who could have predicted that blacklisting fellow professors might exacerbate polarisation? Apparently not “the most influential public intellectual in the western world”.

Cutting and pasting brought to you by The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ

Well I think this creep is dangerous. 

* A nice Oscar Peterson number HERE

** As Richard would say - "NOT".

INSPIRATION

 Well, I never would have believed that Robert could have given me inspiration but - he did.

In my last post Richard, the non-registered teacher made a silly and unnecessary comment:

This was followed by Robert commenting:

I guess, against my better judgement I need to reproduce Robert's post here to make sense of that.

Here we go.

Careful!

"OF PERFECTION

So why did God just not make us perfect from the start and why does He allow suffering?", is a question I've heard a blogger ask recently. In my heart I've always sensed an absurdity in this question.

Listening to Jordan Peterson, a Canadian clinical psychiatrist and professor, I heard an explanation, be it unwittingly on his part.
Jordan Peterson said "Being is maybe a paradoxical state where there is just enough limitation to maximize (sic) possibility. If limitation is the precondition for being then that introduces suffering. If you want being where possibility is maximised then you have to accept the limitations that produce tragedy!". He then gave an example using a rugby field. The only way to maximise possibility is to limit the size of the playing area. Meaning, I think, that if you want to be the best rugby player in the world you will never achieve this if the rugby field is infinite because any one can score.

Pizza "American" with sauce.

          - Robert (A Catholic's View). 

Well if you can interpret what Jordan Peterson is saying in that quote then you are much better than me.

I understand what Robert said - at least about his dinner although why his pizza comes with sauce is a mystery.

What I pick up on is Robert's mention of the absurd. "In my heart I've always sensed an absurdity in this question." 

In my studies many years ago) I read that the concept of  'The Absurd ' was floated by Albert Camus and expanded (and critiqued) by Jean-Paul Sartre.

Sartre’s Take On Absurdity

Sartre defines absurdity as divorce, or discrepancy. The phrase “it doesn’t add up” comes to mind. He pushes the concept further, gives it another name: “our inability to conceive, using our concepts and our words, what goes on in the world.” Words are part of the game we play with one another, so what better way to represent the feeling of the absurd than to do so in terms of our ineffability with regard to it? If Mersault is a man because he speaks seldom and has little to say, he is a man insofar as he embraces the absurdity of the situations into which he is placed — that is, insofar as he is not getting wrapped up in things.

OK?

CAMUS

SARTRE