YES, COMMENT

 More cliches than in Richard's BassBag. More trite sayings than Robert the apathetic and sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner.

What are we talking about here?

Rugby commentary.

I've been watching the women's world cup rugby and, in addition to the standard dull sayings that populate rugby sports commentaries like:

• It's a game of two halves.
• Rugby's the winner.
• She knows the way to the try line.
• That ball came down with snow on it.
• Down to the wire.
• The first 20 minutes will be crucial.
• The last 20 minutes will be crucial.
• Do the simple things well.

I've heard things like:

• They're pumped up like a bouncy castle.
• They're here to play.
• We've got a game on our hands.
• She's not shy to take the ball into contact.
• She's pawing the ground like a show horse.
• A try now is what they need.

Maybe if I was a commentator I could say:

• She couldn't make a cake in a kitchen.
• They're dropping more balls than a group of pubescent schoolboys.
• The women have risen to the occasion like bread in a bakery.
• She's got the ball in her hands, she needs to use it.
• She stroked it gently and eased it through the posts.*

* That was a real expression I heard Murray Mexted say when commentating on a game.