INTERVIEW # 9

 We have a departure from the usual format of the 'Interview Series' today.

The 'Interview Series' has been very popular and may have increased readership of this blog. It certainly has been noticed by 'The Powers that Be' as Google's marketing director (Senior Vice President Sales and Marketing - a title I once had back in the day) contacted me and asked if he/she/I'm not sure could interview me.

Senior Vice President Sales and Marketing Google couldn't make it in person for this interview due to Covid-19 restrictions but set up a ZOOM call which, with Google's wizardry is automatically transcribed to blogger posting script.

THE CURMUDGEON: Hello.

SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT SALES AND MARKETING GOOGLE: Hello, I'm s

THE CURMUDGEON: Hello. Hello. Hellooooo ...

SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT SALES AND MARKETING GOOGLE: Yes, Hi, I'm

THE CURMUDGEON: Hello. Hello. Hello.....

SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT SALES AND MARKETING GOOGLE: Dammit! Hell

THE CURMUDGEON: Hello.

SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT SALES AND MARKETING GOOGLE: Shit! Look, 

THE CURMUDGEON: Ah. I can see the problem. Your title is too long and there's no room for your comment. Look Sparky, can we shorten it  to say - SVPSMG?

SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT SALES AND MARKETING GOOGLE: Sparky?

THE CURMUDGEON: Yeah, sorry about that. It always seems applicable when addressing all of my readers and followers.

SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT SALES AND MARKETING GOOGLE: Sparky?

THE CURMUDGEON: Yes, Sparky. Don't you remember Sparky? Children's radio programmes back in the 1950s and 1960s....

SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT SALES AND MARKETING GOOGLE: I wasn't bo

 THE CURMUDGEON: Forget it. Can we call you SVPSMG?

SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT SALES AND MARKETING GOOGLE: No.

THE CURMUDGEON: Well Sp.. what then?

SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT SALES AND MARKETING GOOGLE: Jay.

THE CURMUDGEON: J?

SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT SALES AND MARKETING GOOGLE: No, Jay.

THE CURMUDGEON: Oh, OK.

SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT SALES AND MARKETING GOOGLE: No, Jay.

THE CURMUDGEON: Sheesh!

JAY: Sheesh?

THE CURMUDGEON: It's a long story. Jay it is then, you can call me TC.

JAY: Sheesh!

TC: OK then Jay. What did you want to talk about?

JAY: Well, as you know TC, I'm Senior V.....

TC: Really Jay?

JAY: Wha ... Oh. I see, yes I'm kind of a bigwig in Google and we've noticed through our algorithms that your blog is outperforming all social media blogs that cover a diverse range of topics from apothecary to Zoroastrianism and we ...

TC: Yeah, the guys have certainly helped in this.

JAY: The guys?

TC: Yeah, the guys ... you know - 

BAS'S BAG
GOOD KIWI BLOKE
IRASCIBLE OLD BASTARD
LOOKING BACK TO TOMORROW
NORTHLAND MUSINGS
PETER'S GOLF BAG
THE ALUMINIUM FOIL CURMUDGEON
THE BLUE MAN
THE CHURCH OF THE BLESSED CURMUDGEON
THE CULTURED CURMUDGEON
THE CURMUDGEON EXPRESS
THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT
THE DARKER CURMUDGEON
THE FOOD CURMUDGEON
THE LITERARY CURMUDGEON
THE MUNDANE CURMUDGEON
THE MUSIC CURMUDGEON
THE NOSTALGIC CURMUDGEON
THE PHILOSOPHICAL CURMUDGEON
THE POLEMICAL CURMUDGEON
THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON
THE TWITTER CURMUDGEON
THE WINE GUY
THE WINE GUY EXPRESS
THE WINE GUY NEW
THECURMUDGEONLY INVENTOR
TWISTED SCOTTISH BASTARD
ZWEITE GEIGE

The guys.

JAY: Oh, I'm not ...

TC: Yep, the guys and I have been working hard. We post ..um ... about 10 posts a week and ...

JAY: 10 posts a week!

TC: Well, not each. Collectively we probably average 10 posts.

JAY: Oh, I'm not ...

TC: And it's working. We're gaining followers every day - almost.

 JAY: I'm not ...

TC: Look, this blog  now is well into single figures of followers . We have ...

JAY: Oh, I'm not ...

TC: We've got Richard's Bass Bag on board and ..

JAY: A commercial fisherman?

TC: What?

JAY: You said Richard's Bass Bag. What's that?

TC: Richard's Bass Bag - it's a musician's blog.

JAY: He plays a bass bag? Is that like some sort of Scottish pipes instrument?

TC: Sheesh! No. We've also got Robert the sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner.

JAY: Robert the sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner?

TC: Yeah but better to not ask...

JAY: Look TC. I think we might have made a mistake here - hee hee - a sort of computer algorithm glitch.

TC: A glitch?

JAY: yeah, a glitch. My (soon to be fired) marketing team told me that your blog was leading all social media blogs in terms of interest, humour, followers, frequency, relevance ...

TC: Yes, so?

JAY: Well, is your blog titled THE CURMUDGEON?

TC: Yep. I came up with that monniker myself.

JAY: Monica?

TC: What?

JAY: Never mind. Look, what's the IP address of your THE CURMUDGEON blog?

TC: It's Grumpyoldmanreturnsnz@blogspot.com

JAY: Ah!

TC: Ah?

JAY: Yes, ah. So this isn't your blog then? http://thecurmudgeonly.blogspot.com/

TC: No, what the fucks that? 

JAY: It's a UK blog that's been in operation since 2004 it ..

TC: so, Jay what's the score?

JAY: Well it means that ...

TC: No, what's the score in the England vs Canada world cup women's rugby game that you're holding me up from watching?

JAY: I don't know, I ...

TC: Well Jay - fuck off then.

JAY: Sheesh .... (click) .....