INTERVIEW *10

 Well, we made it! Double figures in the interview series. I'd like to thank all those who made this possible - the interviewees, the other Curmudgeons and of course the readers without whom none of this could have been possible.

Thanks also to Malcolm Muggeridge, David Frost and Angry Jesus who, over the years have provided inspiration.

As you know I like to keep things topical in the interviews so, drawing from a significant event in the blogging community I've asked Richard of Richard's Bass Bag to join us to discuss his, previously unknown, interest in entomology or biology as he terms it.

THE CURMUDGEON: Welcome Richard, it's good of you to come to visit to discuss your latest activity.

RICHARD: Thanks but just a word of warning - Angry Jesus doesn't like that image you used of him.

THE CURMUDGEON: Oh, why? I thought it fitted his name.

RICHARD: No. Don't you pay attention? Are you like Robert and go about not reading things and just saying "I read it" ? If you did read my blog and, in particular, Angry Jesus's blog you'd see that he uses a softer, more caring image and has a hoodie. Sheesh!

THE CURMUDGEON: Sheesh! Keep your hair on - and, while we're on that topic, maybe it's time that you got a haircut. Look - this interview seems to have got off to a bad start. You know me, I like to be fair and non-judgemental. I just want to know what makes you think you're an expert on insects now?

RICHARD: Biology? Yes, I studied that at school you know.

THE CURMUDGEON: Did you? So what's this then?

RICHARD: It's a Daddy Long Legs.

THE CURMUDGEON: OK - then what's this?

RICHARD: It's another Daddy Long Legs.

THE CURMUDGEON: Right. Can you see a difference between them?

RICHARD: Well, now that you mention it, the first one has a longer nose. It's a 'sniffer' Daddy Long Legs.

THE CURMUDGEON: You just made that up. It's a bloody mosquito.

RICHARD: Nah, Mosquitos are made from plywood and powered by De Havilland Gypsy-12 engines.

THE CURMUDGEON: Ha ha  very funny. Have you managed to identify any other insects in your 'biology' studies?

RICHARD: I've got a bee.

THE CURMUDGEON: Where? In your bonnet? Hahahaha .....

RICHARD: No, it's a bumblebee.

THE CURMUDGEON: OK, show me.

RICHARD: Here it is - I call it Mr Bumble.

THE CURMUDGEON: Mr Bumble? Oh, yeah, Oliver Twist - I see but but but but - that's a bloody hornet man! Have you been stung?

RICHARD: Well, the guy who sold it to me overcharged me quite a bit so ... yes.

THE CURMUDGEON: This interview is sliding into the ridiculous so we'd better leave this. Can you get Angry Jesus to contact me so I can apologise? I don't want to get smitten or anything knowing how his family take umbrage at the smallest things.

RICHARD: Righty-o. I've got to see a man about an ant anyway.

THE CURMUDGEON: Good luck with that and make sure that it doesn't have 8 legs and a red back.

RICHARD: Er, OK, Ciao.