".... OH LORD I WANT TO BE IN THAT NUMBER ....."

Richard (of RBB) that well known atheist fancies himself as a bit of a canoniser even though by his own admission he abandoned his catholic beliefs some time ago. Anyway, Richard wants to bestow the title of 'Saint' on me.

"Bless you my followers"

Yes, it is understandable. I was in the 'P' classes at secondary school so have the advantage there and some of my posts have been if not saintly then certainly other-worldly.

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The problem is though that there are already a couple of saints in existence who have claimed the curmudgeon title. Bastards!


Saint Jerome. (ca. 331—ca. 420)

St Jerome had a reputation for being cantankerous and irascible - traits that are sought after in curmudgeons and tended to piss off everyone around him. He had no time for idiots and liked to be left alone in his studies. He had a reputation as a translator and is said to have translated the bible from Hebrew and Greek into Latin. I suspect that this gave him the opportunity to insert thoughts, facts and statements of his own that had nothing to do with any of the original stuff. This too is in the curmudgeon tradition of plagiarism and never letting the truth get in the way of a good story.

Jerome was popular with the Christian 'Who's Who' and had impressed Pope Damasus with his  knowledge of Hebrew, which few Christians knew at the time. He also became a spiritual advisor to a number of rich, aristocratic women whom he encouraged to embrace the ascetic life by arguing that the good of marriage is limited to the future consecrated virgins who might come from the marital union. (thanks Wikipedia). This led to him inventing the Virgin Mary nonsense amongst other fabrications made all the easier because hardly anyone else knew Hebrew and he was probably the only one around who had a knowledge of Hebrew and Greek. The lucky bugger could hoodwink left right and centre.


Saint Polycarp (second century)

Not this

Polycarbonate

This guy

Saint Polycarp

Polycarp was bishop of Smyrna and devoted his life to teaching sound doctrine and opposing heresy.
He was a bit outspoken though and tended to upset emperors and dignitaries.

From Wikipedia (the odd spelling is theirs):

Despite his longevity, his outspokenness was about to catch up with him. By mid-century, governors began to require Christians to worship the emperor. In Smyrna mobs packed the amphitheater to watch Christians forced to fight wild animals. But the crowd wanted Polycarp. Polycarp was betrayed by a servant and taken to the amphitheater. In a circular letter that the Smyrnean church distributed after his death, this account described what happened:

"A great shout arose when the people heard that it was Polycarp who had been arrested. As he was brought before him, the governor asked him: "Are you Polycarp?" And when he admitted he was, the governor tried to persuade him to recant, saying: "Have respect for your age ...; swear by the Genius of the emperor. Recant. Say, 'Away with the atheists!'" Polycarp, with a sober countenance, looked at all the mob of lawless pagans who were in the arena, and shaking his fist at them, groaned, looked up to heaven, and said, "Away with these atheists!" The governor persisted and said: "Swear and I will let you go. Curse Christ!" But Polycarp answered: "For eighty-six years I have been his servant and he had done me no wrong. How can I blaspheme against my king and savior?""

They burnt him at the stake.

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"And when the sun refuse to shine

When the moon turns red with blood

On that hallelujah day

Oh when the trumpet sounds the call 

When the revelation comes 

When the rich go out and work 

When the air is pure and clean 

When we all have food to eat 

When our leaders learn to cry"

............. When the saints go marching in?

No,  that's not going to happen. I think that I'll leave it to those two old jokers.


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