"WE RESPECT WOMEN A LOT"

  Apropos of nothing* I thought it opportune to have a little round table discussion on the role of women in society so brought together a small group who have, now and in the past voiced opinions on this.

We are lucky today to have :

Jacinda Ardern - Prime Minister of New Zealand

Taliban's acting deputy prime minister, Abdul Salam Hanafi

Jorge Mario Bergoglio - Pope Francis head of the Catholic Church

   Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner

Sima Sami Bahous - UN Women's Executive Director 

Donald Trump - ex President of United States of America

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez - US Member of the House of Representatives

The Curmudgeon - Moderator

The Curmudgeon: Welcome everyone to sunny Northland for this inaugural summit of women's rights. To kick off I'd like each of you to give us a quick statement about women's rights.

Jacinda Ardern: Thanks TC. I want to be a good leader and not a good lady leader. I say this sincerely as a female prime minister in the first country in the world where women gained the right to vote. These rights must not only be protected but to be continually improved.

Abdul Salam Hanafi: Women are our mothers, sisters. We respect them a lot. We are having our own summit of 3000 people who respect women so much that we are going to discuss their rights. OK, you might say, there will be no women at the summit but when their sons are in the gathering, it means that women are also involved, in a way, in the gathering.

Pope Francis:  The Catholic Church respects women and allows that women are to be guaranteed freedom of choice - but not of course in the use of their bodies as regards pre-marital sex, unmarried sex, masturbation, gay rights, sexual enjoyment and abortion. Women’s involvement in decision-making is valuable for the good of the world but, of course, not in any involvement in decision making in the Catholic Church. That is for men.

Robert: Women have different brains to men, Men are the hunter gatherers and must provide for their families. Women are nurturers and must attend to the needs of the man in the household. This work will set them free (I read that somewhere).

Sima Sami Bahous: We must work to ensure that more women and girls can make informed decisions about, and have control over, their bodies, health and futures. We must address the passage and implementation of laws that protect sexual and reproductive rights. And we can create stronger community engagement to increase the demand for and access to health services, arising from discriminatory practices, cultural and social norms impact many aspects of women’s health. 

Donald Trump: I'm automatically attracted to beautiful women — I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. When you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab 'em by the pussy. You can do anything.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: The idea that a woman can be as powerful as a man is something that our society can’t deal with. But I am as powerful as a man, and it drives them crazy. To make things change takes courage and women are currently showing that they have more courage than men in positions of power.

The Curmudgeon: Great. There are quite a few things to discuss there. Thanks everyone. We should now move on to ......... hold up! Hey guys, the preview of tomorrows All Blacks vs. Ireland game is about to start on Sky Sport. I've got the big TV all set up in the games room. Maybe we should call it quits for now and get a look at this so that we're prepped for the Test tomorrow. Ladies, I know you won't be interested but maybe you can have a little natter here while the guys are watching the rugby. Hey! Can you make some tea for us? Great. Super. Robert, you can stay here and look after the gals, OK? Let's go guys......

* Actually I tell a lie. It was a comment by the Taliban's acting deputy prime minister, Abdul Salam Hanafi, I read today that spurred this post. Hanafi said : "We respect women a lot" when announcing a 3,000 delegate men only summit to discuss women's rights in Afghanistan.