HOW TO BE A CATHOLIC

 It's not easy, believe me - I failed years ago and I was an altar boy, a sacristan and, being in the 'P' classes at school, an odds-on favourite for becoming a priest. 

"So" you might ask "what went wrong?"

What went wrong is that I discovered that I had intelligence, an open and enquiring mind and an intolerance for bullshit. This of course, on all counts, disqualified me from my previous positions of Catholic importance, any future ambitions for priesthood and, short of excommunication, required surrendering my Catholic/Christian entry card.

"Do you have any examples of a closed-minded Catholic to share?" you might ask.

Of course - I have many, many examples that I could share but, in the interests of topicality here's an excerpt from Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner, toilet cleaner, threatener of eternal damnation, music snob and sucker's (don't ask) latest blog post:

This is actually a very good example of closed-minded thinking with the unproven assumption that is a monumental leap from the tiny sample of the 'major parties' manifesto being used to underscore his own particular bias.  He doesn't want his ideas challenged and is frustrated that he can’t get the others to agree with them instead of asking why they disagree. 

 Closed-minded people focus much more on being understood than on understanding others. When people disagree, they tend to be quicker to assume that they aren’t being understood than to consider whether they’re the ones who are not understanding the other person’s perspective. They have trouble holding two thoughts simultaneously in their minds and allow their own view to crowd out those of others. They do often say things like “I could be wrong . . . but here’s my opinion” but this is a  a perfunctory gesture that allows people to hold their own opinion while convincing themselves that they are being open-minded. It's no surprise that this kind of behaviour is typical of Christians and Catholics in particular.

Robert should have been that altar boy, the sacristan, been in the 'P' classes at school and have been a priest. I think that he'd have been a very good priest (if there is such a thing) given his views on women, sexuality, abortion, LGBQT rights, non-belief of the Catholic Church suppressing child abuse claims - balanced out by his care for his immediate family, his practical abilities and his passion for the Virgin Mary. He'd have to give up cleaning those Anglican churches though.