INTERVIEW # 25 - SUITS YOU SIR

 It's opportune to interview Chris Bishop in this latest in the Interview series since we mentioned Chris in  yesterday's post.

"Beep beep! Important messenger coming through."

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The Curmudgeon: Welcome Chris. I say, that beige suit well, suits you. Suits you sir ha ha ...

... I apologise for the smutty innuendo there Chris.

Chris Bishop: Ha ha , that's OK. I'm used to it at work you know.

The Curmudgeon: So Chris, why beige? I would have thought a nice toady green would suit you more.

Chris Bishop: It is green ... hey! What do you mean by 'toady'?

The Curmudgeon: The suit looks beige to me Chris or am I colour blind like most of the voters who confused red with blue in the elections?

Chris Bishop: Beige? Oh .... that's just the coffee stains. I was helping the boss at the recent coalition meeting and he gave me an important mission.

The Curmudgeon: Like getting in the coffees?

Chris Bishop: Yes, well, it was important. The boss likes his fancy coffees so I had to go to Starbucks but as it was so far away I borrowed a scooter. On the way back I had to carry three coffees and ...

The Curmudgeon: Three coffees Chris? I thought that there would be four of you in that meeting. You, the boss, Peters and Seymour?

Chris Bishop: Ummm .... I'm sort of a special agent for the boss going on missions for him and such like...

The Curmudgeon: ....Yeah right! So Chris, the coffees?

Chris Bishop: Yeah, well, they were bloody big coffees you know: 

A white chocolate mocha for the boss: 

A caramel macchiato for Mr Seymour:

And a cafe mocha for Mr Peters:

The Curmudgeon: Quite appropriate Chris. Did they enjoy them?

Chris Bishop: Er, no, on the way back I fell off the scooter and spilled the coffee all over my suit.

Senior National MP and campaign chair Chris Bishop helped navigate his party through to victory in the 2023 election, but the boy from the Hutt struggled to make his way across downtown Auckland this morning as party members met to discuss the ongoing coalition talks.

The Curmudgeon: There's a metaphor in there somewhere Chris .... or an omen.

Chris Bishop: Better to spill the coffee than spill the beans though.

The Curmudgeon:What? Have you been reading Richard's Bass Bag again? I told you last time that it's a lot of nonsense ... hold on. Richard only writes his silly and confusing aphorisms in a mangled version of Italian. You said .... OK, what are you hiding there Chris?

Chris Bishop: No, no, nothing, nothing, I er ...

The Curmudgeon: You know that you're going to tell me Chris. What are you hiding? Is it about the coalition talks? I've heard that they aren't going well and that Luxon has been exposed as the blancmange I identified him as last year, see: HERE

Chris Bishop: The talks are going very well thank you and they are stimulating.

The Curmudgeon: Well not stimulated by caffeine though, that's for damned sure. So Chris, what's up?

Chris Bishop: Look .... if I tell you, will you promise to keep it to yourself?

The Curmudgeon: Mmm ... I have a responsibility to my readers Chris but, since there are only three of them I guess your story is safe enough.

Chris Bishop: OK then. I was lying when I said that I only bought three coffees. I actually bought four. The other one was a green tea cream frappuccino.

The Curmudgeon: A green tea cream frappuccino? You mean for ....

Chris Bishop: Yes, for my real boss Nicola Willis.

She wears green often to appeal to the Green Party and Save The Earth voters.

The Curmudgeon: Harrumph. 'Scorched earth' would be more suitable to her and her policies Chris.

Chris Bishop: Yeah well, anyway that's why I normally wear green suits as well - not 'toady' green I'll have you know. Nicola will be my boss soon as you well know.  We talked about this when you last interviewed me in Interview #7 see: HERE 

The Curmudgeon: Yes, yes, yes as Robert would say if he ever got back to blogging but that's moot.

Chris Bishop: Suit? Are we back to that?

The Curmudgeon: Moot. I said 'moot' as in it won't matter soon as there'll be a new election next year as you well know once this ridiculous coalition government falls over (if it ever gets started) . You'll have to align yourself with another 'up and comer'. How will you look in yellow do you think?