THE CURMUDGEON'S CURSE

 

I've discovered that I have a mighty power which I can unleash from time to time if something really annoys me.

A few years back I used this power on an inconsiderate boat driver. See: THE HEX

This morning I was forced to call on this power again.

Some dickhead, who must have bought himself a hovercraft for Christmas, was racing back and forth along the shoreline, breaking the NZ Maritime regulations. These regulations require that: 

You must not exceed a speed of 5 knots (a fast walking speed) if you are:
within 200m of the shore
within 200m of any structure
within 200m of a boat displaying a diver’s flag
within 50m of any other boat
within 50m of a person swimming
on a power boat if any person has any part of their body outside the rails or edge of the deck.

What's so hard about understanding that?

The boat this moron was driving was like a glorified jetski. I hadn't seen one before. It was extremely ugly and noisy. 

Sort of like this

I yelled out "I hope you hit a rock and sink you bastard!".

I was thinking of going along the road to yell at him up close when suddenly heard:

BANG. GRAUNCH. CRUNCH. POP. POP. POP.

Then silence. 

Hurray! The silly bastard had gone aground somewhere along the bay. There was no sound for a while until, sure enough, the boat started up again and set off along the bay and went past the jetty. He had done this several times before, going a few hundred metres past, around the tip of the peninsular and then returning. This time he didn't come back. I've been entertaining the thought that running aground damaged the hull and that further out he's sunk.

Oh dear, how sad, never mind.

Maybe I can harness this power I have to put curses on other annoying things like religious people.