IT'S JUST NOT CRICKET! *

 "Do you hear that?" she asked.

"What?" I answered.

"Crickets." she said.

Cricket? What, the sound of the thwack of willow on leather? 

But that was another time.

I mentioned this to her.

"No you silly bugger. Crickets. As in the insects. I can hear them again."

"I can't hear any crickets" I said, not for the first time.

Indeed, ever since I've had tinnitus the only crickets I hear are in my head.

"There, now" she said as she muted the television.

"I can't hear anything other than.... " I said.

"Yes, yes, the crickets in your head." she interrupted.

I went into the kitchen to where she said she heard the crickets.

'There's nothing here." I said.

"Yes, well, there won't be now" she said "you turned the light on and frightened them away again."

Sometimes I think it's not just me who's going nuts around here.

* With thanks to a minor contributor for this post title.