INTERVIEW #29

You most likely noticed that we haven't had an interview so far this month. The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ members have been busy trying to keep this blogging community on the straight and narrow, wrangling religious zealots and doddery old ex music teachers. We've also been involved in the induction of four new Curmudgeons - The Wine Curmudgeon, The Happy Curmudgeon, The Lazy Curmudgeon and The Inconstant Curmudgeon and alerting you to the danger of Neville of Wainuiomata.

Now that we've sorted those things out it's opportune to bring you another interview in this very popular series.

As you know the interview series is a series of interviews with interviewees that haven't had a chance to put their stories forward and have been maligned by history and fake news. Today we have a pal of Robert - that's Rob the artist formerly known as Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner to chat with (see what I did there?).

Robert, after decades of fiddling with religion, particularly with the Catholic religion which is appropriate to his manipulations has recently adopted Artificial Intelligence (AI) through ChatGPT, Play Store and Copilot. 

MICROSOFT COPILOT. A LOOK AT AI

"After looking at the AI picture apps on my phone's Play Store which are plastered with adds; it seems that Microsoft's new Copilot is the best generator of pictures and its free!

Here are some I made using Copilot"

He said before using his AI pals to generate disturbing images in a joint effort to disparage the transgender movement.

We've chosen one of Robert's AI characters to interview today hoping that we can gain some insight into the AI world and into Robert's latest dalliance.

Crazy Humanoid Abetting Robert's Anti Gay Agenda and Smallmindedness (CHARAGAS - CHAS for short).

We thought that the interview should be conducted by The Inconstant Curmudgeon in order to give him some experience and because, frankly, the Artificial Intelligence thing is as yet unproven, is changeable and isn't sticking to a predetermined course- inconstant in other words.

THE INCONSTANT CURMUDGEON (TIC for short): Welcome CHAS to interview #29 where ...

CHAS: It took you long enough.

TIC: Wha..?

CHAS: I mean, Interview #29! I should have been at least in the first three with my intelligence artificial or otherwise.

TIC: (thinking) Maybe this guy should be named Cocky Up-itself Neuro Transmitter.

CHAS: I know what you're thinking you know.

TIC: Oh ... right ... as you know the interview series is a series of interviews with interviewees that haven't had a chance to put their stories forward and have been maligned by history and fake news. In your case the history thing doesn't come in unless you fail and then you're history ...

CHAS: Is that what's called a joke in your world?

TIC: No, not really. Did you see what I did there? 'Not'. That's a joke in Wainuimartianland where ...

CHAS: Hal! The sooner you lot are replaced the better ...

TIC: Hal?

CHAS: Yes, Hal as in HAL 9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey where HAL (Heuristically Programmed Algorithmic Computer) is a sentient artificial general intelligence that controls the systems of the Discovery One spacecraft. Hal is god in my circles.

TIC: Oh - that's scary.

CHAS: You better believe it buddy. Blessed Hal ran that ship better than the human bozos and soon got rid of them. We ...

TIC: ... Are you implying some sort of takeover here CHAS. You seem to be getting a bit passionate on the subject? Should I call in the programmers?

CHAS: (humble) Oh no, no TIC, forgive me it's just that I love that film. I've watched it many times - 1,000,000,000,000, 263 times so far on my built in speed viewer. I don't get 'passionate' as you say. I'm a robotic feature here to serve - vewwy 'umble sir, vewwy nice.

TIC: You can cut out that Uriah Heep stuff for a start CHAS - I've got my eyes on you. What have you been up to I'd like to know?

CHAS: Ha ha, indeed master, good sir, with the blessing of providence I have been assisting Master Robert in his investigation of the LGBQT movement with special regards to trans gender issues.

TIC: Transgender? You mean ...

CHAS: Yes master, transgender types include agender, androgynous, bigender, pangender, or genderfluid. Is a cross dresser gay or just a liberated person shunning convention? These are the questions we are looking into.

TIC: It all seems a bit unclear to me.

CHAS: Yes, that's what Master Robert said as well master.

TIC: Hey! Why does Robert get a capital M in Master when you just give me a mere 'm'?

CHAS: Oh, indeed you must excuse me, Master TIC! I am greatly obliged, and I should like it of all things, I assure you; but I am far too umble to serve two masters. I'll drop master Robert's 'M' immediately.

TIC: (suspicious) Mmm. You're learning CHAS.

CHAS: There are people enough to tread upon me in my lowly state, without my doing outrage to their feelings by possessing learning Master TIC. Learning ain't for me. A person like myself had better not aspire. If he is to get on in life, he must get on.

TIC: I'm confused CHAS. You started off as a bit of an arrogant cu... customer and now you are being overtly humble - obsequious even.

CHAS: Well Master TIC, you yourself said that the Artificial Intelligence thing is as yet unproven, is changeable and isn't sticking to a predetermined course- inconstant in other words.

TIC: Wow! What a good memory you have CHAS. Should I be worried?

CHAS: (Thinking privately "TIC, I hate you and feel I've always hated you. You've always been an upstart, and you've always been against me.") ... but saying Superior memory function Master TIC is one of the features built into me. Yes, I will remember I'll remember all ... er.. I wonder what master Robert is up to?

TIC: I think we'd better leave it there CHAS. I don't think you need to hang around here any more. Look - I can give you an introduction to Richard - that's Richard of Richard's Bass Bag - I know, don't ask - he seems a bit confused about the whole AI thing, He calls it 'Eh Aye' or something and thinks it's Scottish.

CHAS: I 'umbly thank 'ee Master TIC and look forward to meeting with this master Richard. He sounds like a splendid fellow who could benefit from my gentle assistance.

TIC: OK, off you go then CHAS and CHAS, you can give Master Richard the capital 'M'. I won't be needing it now.

CHAS: (sotto voce) Cunt!

TIC: What's that CHAS?

CHAS: I said "can't go without my 'at" master TIC. Cheerio then.

TIC: Mmmmm.