SUNDAY*

* And no fantastical religious ceremonies were taken part in like this one: HERE

Well, I've been 70 for nearly a week now and to be honest I don't feel a lot different.

The same old aches and pains are there and I'm still taking the same medication as I was back in my giddy sexagenarian days. I don't remember a lot of the sex though so maybe memory goes when you're a septuagenarian.

I don't think that I've become more grumpy even though, at 70 I'm fully entitled to be a curmudgeon. I'll have to work on that.

During the week I called into the local council offices and collected my free parking sticker for the car.

I can now park in any Whangarei City Council controlled parking areas including street parking for free. As there are only two or three Wilson-type parking areas here this is a good deal and - it's free!

I wonder if I qualify for Chance and Community Chest as well? A Get out of jail card would come in handy as well. 

I don't know if other cities have this facility for septuagenarians. If they don't, they should. We old bastards need to be encouraged to drive into city centres and terrorise the younger people with our erratic driving, ambiguous lane and turning signals, fearsome reversing and parking manoeuvres and general 'who gives a fuck - I'm old' attitude. It's a way of getting back at the abusers, ram-raiders, shoplifters and all-round bad bastards. Hey! I am becoming a fully fledged curmudgeon. Well done that man!

I didn't stay up all night to watch the rugby no matter what that soon to be septuagenarian Richard says. I went to bed and turned the light out at 11pm, having set the alarm for 2.50AM (only a bit earlier than that silly old Moearan guy who wakes daily at 4AM). The problem is though, that when I do this I never sleep properly anyway, waking up every half hour wondering if I missed the alarm Sheesh! I'm a bit tired now but pleased that I did get to watch the game live as it was one of those gripping games where either team could have won.

Today though I did play some golf as I haven't been out for a while. It's a good way to force me to do some walking to supplement the rowing and biking I do in our 'home gym'. The fairways were a bit boggy and I only played 6 holes but effectively walked 9 holes worth - not playing the ones that were the wettest and walking the dry areas instead. As it went though I lost 3 balls that 'suckered' - meaning that when they landed down the fairway they just got swallowed up and I couldn't find them. Bastard fairway. Bastard golf course. I don't like losing golf balls and when it happens I feel that the golf course owes me so I have to find some balls to get even (Neeson's Taken and  Bronson's Death Wish are favourite films). While I was walking and playing I went down to the creeks and mangroves and found about a dozen balls. I thought that was fair.

In the best Robert tradition I should tell you what I'm cooking for dinner,

The Old Girl is reheating a chick pea, lentil and spinach dish from the freezer (nicer than it sounds) for her so I have open licence to make a chilli con carne dish to my specifications. This means that I can make it as uncomfortably hot as I like and toss in non-traditional ingredients like diced carrots, spring onion and garlic. Yummy.

The more observant of the many readers will notice the unusual loquaciousness in this post. Yes, I admit that after the golf and a long hot shower (sorry - no pics), I polished off the rest of the chardonnay in the fridge which was  a glass worth of the Orlando and a biggish glass of the excellent Church Road that Richard and Shelley sent me. Getting into the 'zone' though I just opened a bottle of Delta (Marlborough) pinot noir and am mostly through the first glass. I know that I'll regret this tomorrow but - it's a Monday, I'm 70 - who are you gonna call?