THE CURMUDGEON

Richard's latest post (find it for yourself) triggered an idea from one of the communities more enterprising commenters (me) of Robert, me and Kylie (Robert's political and right wing media advisor) running a delivery service selling altar wine to catholic churches.

Richard didn't suggest that the service could encompass Anglican churches as well, although they do have mass at their places of worship, and I'm loth to mention this possibility to Robert because he'd have to say three rosaries and flagellate himself after each visit. Besides, the better class Anglican church probably doesn't serve the crappy sweet and low alcohol wine that the catholic church does at mass preferring a decent Bordeaux red, a nice white Burgundy or, in the colder months a good malt whisky. This means that our stock-holding costs would be higher and we should probably branch out to that market once we are fully established.

With limited capital on start-up we will need to begin with a low value delivery vehicle not unlike this:

I know, I know, it might look a bit too upmarket for some of the catholic church communities but we can dumb down its sophistication with some pictures of Jesus and his mum along with some catchy religious quotes and sayings.

I remember when, as a kid growing up in Wellington in the 1950s and 1960s, on Saturdays, the greengrocer used to drive around the suburbs in a big green truck (probably a Bedford) that had a mobile shop built into the back. Not unlike this:

Exterior view like this except it was green

Interior view like this

Mr Patel, otherwise known in those unenlightened days as 'The Hindoo' would drive around all the streets in Berhampore, Vogeltown, Brooklyn and who knows where, selling his fresh fruit and vegetables. Not only was he doing this on Saturday (on a weekend - but he gave the housewives credit. Product on tick! In the late 1950s and 1960s! Was he mad! No, he was probably this country's first legitimate entrepreneur. To make sense of this it is necessary to explain that, in the 1950s, 1960s, 1970s - bloody hell - for a long time, retail activity in New Zealand stopped at 9PM on Friday night (a special treat for Fridays as Monday to Thursday shops closed at 5.30PM at the latest) and didn't open until, at the earliest, 8AM on Mondays. If shoppers (in those days housewives) hadn't got the provisions in they were stuffed. Nothing was open until the next week. Apart from fish and chip outlets (usually following the same restrictive retail opening regulations but would do a Saturday night fry-up), dairies (open on Saturday mornings only) and the ubiquitous Chinese restaurants that ound ways to reinterpret any laws there were no takeaway food options that can be found today. In addition, food storage options at home were abysmal. The average refrigerator had just enough room to take a few bottles of milk, butter, some deli items and leftovers. Freezers were almost non -existent but some refrigerators had a small ice box at the to that usually held ice cubes, some ice cream and something that no-one recognised anymore. The luxury of having a freezer full of frozen meats, vetabales, ready made meals and other edible items just didn't exist.

OK - moving on.

The 1950s/1960s greengrocer truck is my preferred delivery (and marketing) vehicle.

It probably neds