THE CURMUDGEON'S MEETING SERVICE - MEETING #1

 "IF IT WAS WRONG GOD WOULD PUT A STOP TO IT" *

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The Curmudgeons Incⓒ has instituted a new service for readers - THE CURMUDGEON'S MEETING SERVICE.

This is an on-line forum where members (readers) can meet with others in a non-partisan, neutral environment. This is useful for those who have a strained relationship with the person who they wish to meet with and/or a suitable neutral meeting place cannot be agreed on.

To start with a meeting has been arranged between Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner (and, as of current standing - ex blogger) and Trent Horn self proclaimed Catholic Apologist.

"I am over 60 years old and was educated in catholic schools in Wellington being taught by nuns, brothers and priests. In addition to this catholic upbringing I've re-discovered christianity and catholicism in recent years and have embraced it fully to the point of believing everything that's written in the bible, the catechism and the sermons given at Sunday mass which I attend, not wishing to commit a 'mortal sin' by having a well-earned sleep in."

"After my conversion to the Catholic faith, I earned my master’s degrees in the fields of theology, philosophy, and bioethics. I serve as a staff apologist for Catholic Answers, where I specialize in teaching Catholics to graciously and persuasively engage those who disagree with them."

This meeting has been arranged because recently Robert stopped listening to Trent's podcasts and declared that he wasn't going to follow him anymore.

Sensing that there may be a bit of conflict here, and that both Trent and Robert are aware that I am an atheist and will be going to Hell, I thought it best that a moderator be used. I managed to find a Catholic priest who knows Robert and has heard of Trent Horn. His name is Father Awaythebetter.

"I'm a Catholic priest and part of a worldwide organisation dedicated to saving the souls of believers and ensuring that they will have a place at God's side in Paradise.
Ha, ha ... just kidding ,,,, I'm part of a worldwide organisation dedicated to fucking young boys."

FATHER AWAYTHEBETTER: Welcome Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner (and, as of current standing - ex blogger) and Trent Horn the Catholic Apologist  .... er, do you think I can refer to you respectively as Bob and Trent? You can call me Father.

ROBERT: Yeah that's fine Dad ....

FATHER AWAYTHEBETTER: Father!

ROBERT: Oh, sorry ..... Father.

TRENT HORN: Yes, that's fine Father. I appreciate that the Catholic Church, under the guidance of Pope Francis is seeking to simplify structures and to adopt a more casual approach to its interaction with the congregation in its promulgation of teachings on God's attributes ....

FATHER AWAYTHEBETTER: Yes, thanks Trent, can you ....

TRENT HORN: What is God’s most fundamental attribute? You might say it’s his goodness, or his power, or his knowledge. But there is one thing about God that makes him “God” and not just another creature: his simplicity....

FATHER AWAYTHEBETTER: Yes, thanks Trent but ....

TRENT HORN: I don’t mean that God is simple to understand, but that God is the most fundamental aspect of reality. There is nothing beyond God that serves as the foundation for all existence, and in order to be that foundation for all of reality, God must be simple, or not composed of parts. St. Anselm of Canterbury put it this way: “There are no parts in you, Lord: neither are you many, but you are so much one and the same with yourself that in nothing are you dissimilar with yourself.” Almost a century later the Fourth Lateran council began its confession of faith by saying: 

We firmly believe and simply confess that there is only one true God, eternal and immeasurable, almighty, unchangeable, incomprehensible and ineffable, Father, Son and holy Spirit, three persons but one absolutely simple essence, substance or nature.

FATHER AWAYTHEBETTER: Can you please shut the fuck up?

TRENT HORN: .........

FATHER AWAYTHEBETTER: Ahh, sorry about that Trent. I was told that you were ... um ... loquacious. 

ROBERT: (thinking) Thank God for that.

FATHER AWAYTHEBETTER: Look, we don't have a lot of time as The Curmudgeon is a very busy person even though he doesn't attend Mass or chase after little boys. I'd like to thank him for hosting this  meeting and giving us the opportunity to bring you two together again.

ROBERT: Thanks Father. Yes, I'm keen and admit that I might have been a bit precupice , er presipitatios ... er presumbuous ... er quick there when I hinted that I was no longer going to listen to Trent.

TRENT HORN: (sulking) Whatever.

FATHER AWAYTHEBETTER: Come on Trent. Robert is trying here ...

TRENT HORN: (sotto voce) Very trying ...

FATHER AWAYTHEBETTER: What's that?

TRENT HORN: (still sulking) Whatever.

FATHER AWAYTHEBETTER: Come on Trent. Tell us how you feel about Robert's hint.

TRENT HORN: Hint? I know that Robert has deleted all of his posts but I have it on good authority that he had written in a post that he was upset and was going to 'ghost' me just because I've been buying up shares on Wall Street from those losers who've had to dump their stock and have been investing in cryptocurrency. No silly tithing for me ...

FATHER AWAYTHEBETTER: There you go .... talking again ... but you said you had it on good authority ....

TRENT HORN: Father Inthebetter.

FATHER AWAYTHEBETTER: What?

TRENT HORN: Father Inthebetter told me. Hey, are you two guys related?

FATHER AWAYTHEBETTER: (blushing) No. no. just good fiends .... we met at the Seminary.

ROBERT: (sulking).

TRENT HORN: (Sulking)

FATHER AWAYTHEBETTER: Whew! I mean Sheesh! Look guys I don't have time for this. I've got a few little er, things to do before evening Mass so maybe we'd better leave this for another time.

ROBERT: I love you Father

FATHER AWAYTHEBETTER: Thanks my son.

ROBERT: I love you Trent.

TRENT HORN: Whatever.

*  THE CATHOLIC CHURCH