LET'S GET SERIOUS ABOUT SERIES

 If I were to make a New Year resolution tomorrow it would be to complete the post series that I've begun over the last few years.

I've let readers down I know - mea culpa*.

Each series starts off well and some run for several episodes until I either run out of steam or forget about them - having twenty seven blogs to maintain is a big responsibility you know. 

I looked through a couple of years of posts and uncovered these series:

• INTERVIEW series. This is going well and has been enthusiastically received. we are up to 14 episodes now.
• IF WE WROTE POSTS LIKE RICHARD'S series. Sadly there was only a Part One ('Norman') in this and no further episodes eventuated due to lack of demand. The content matter spoke for itself really. 
• THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND series. This ran to two episodes which is strange as there are many, many things that I don't understand. This will definitely be refreshed in the coming year.
• THE SLIPPERS POST series. This was very popular and ran to two episodes but, once a pair of new slippers were purchased with no further problems there wasn't anything more to say.
• THE CURMUDGEON'S MEETING SERVICE  series. While being a great idea this only ran to one episode titled 'MEETING #1'. It did receive very positive comments from Richard and Robert which obviously is why it was discontinued.
• THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW WERE TRUE series. This was very promising and I don't know why I didn't carry on with it. It ran to two episodes only but these were classics.
• BLAST FROM THE PAST series only had one episode. This series promised to repeat past The Curmudgeon posts and should have been very popular. It will have to go on the 'to be continued' list.
• IT'S HERE series. Only two episodes were made from a promised 84. I was remiss.
• NICE series. Two episodes only which suggests that all that niceness exhausted me.
• BORED series ran to three episodes but frankly, I think I'm bored with that so won't continue it.
• INAPPROPRIATE HUMOUR series had only one episode but is well worth having more added. Stay tuned.
• MEMORIES series also only had one episode but, as you know, The Nostalgic Curmudgeon blog was later created so we'll leave the memories to him.
• AUCKLAND THE SERIES  series ran to two episodes. I don't know why I didn't continue with it.
• RAKIURA STEWART ISLAND series ran to four episodes and did its dash really. There won't be any more but if I travel to Great Barrier Island next year I could do a new series to keep your interest up.
• THE OLD GIRL'S BIRTHDAY series consisted of two episodes which were enough.
• THE SHOWER series very surprisingly only had one episode. I need, for your sakes, to revisit this.

Well that was only 2022 and 20121 years looked at. The more observant reader will have noticed that the DOORS, WINDOWS, FURNITURE, DECK, GARDEN, TRAILER, PAINTINGS, UNDERWEAR, PLUMBING, TENNIS, TOILET BAG and other fascinating series from earlier years haven't been mentioned. This doesn't suggest that there is no life left in these series and new episodes may be forthcoming. The priority though, to honour my promise and obligation to you is to continue those series from 2022 and 20121.

Watch out!

* Mea culpa - for those not having been in the P classes means "yah boo sucks to you you losers" in Latin.

BEGGING PARDON YOUR HONOUR

 The 2023 New Year Honours are published today.

CHECK TO SEE IF YOUR NAME IS ON HERE

No?

Oh well, never mind. Maybe you're just doing the wrong things and haven't been noticed like Anita Jane Mazzoleni, for services to corporate governance or Grahame Fong, for services to powerlifting.

Maybe we need to lower the bar a bit so that we all have a shot at these awards.

Here are some suggestions for 2024.

New Zealand Order of Merit

Dames Companion (DNZM)

Services to the (ahem) personal services industry.

 

Knights Companion (KNZM)
Services to best trailer reversing at local Resort centres.

Companions (CNZM)

Services to spouses and family carers.

Officers (ONZM)

Services to the music industry with particular regard to fingering technique.

Members (MNZM)

Services to keeping Cosmopolitan Club membership reserved for male members only.

Queen’s Service Order (QSO)

Not to be contested in 2024

King’s Service Order (KSO)

Services to waiting for something to turn up.

Queen’s Service Medal (QSM)

Not to be contested in 2024.

King’s Service Medal (KSM)

Services to home gardening with particular attention to weed maintenance.

Honorary

Services to helping family members erect tents on camping trips (within a few kilometres of where they) live and regardless of whether the tents stay up during the night or not.

New Zealand Distinguished Service Decoration (DSD)
Services to school cadet groups, scouting and school bands.

A SILLY MAN WITH A DERANGED MIND

"To be frank, it read like the work of a silly man with a deranged mind. Though I could be wrong."

Said Robert on a recent post of mine.

To prove it here is a screen shot:

I pretended to be Robert and left the same comment on Richard's latest post which was is also silly and, to be honest more like the ravings from a deranged mind than mine.

So, Robert, who wrote this feels qualified I guess to make the judgement given that just about everything that he's ever written in his blog posts (and perhaps in his anonymous letters to the Mayor of Lower Hutt, Jacinda Ardern, the Pope and the mythical Virgin Mary) is the product of a deranged mind.

"Why do you say that?" might ask Robert, practising his Socratic Method. Well, let me tell you:

Robert is a Christian. He's also a Catholic which is a part of Christianity at the fringe - the lunatic fringe. I'm not saying that the other Christian sects aren't silly and deluded but, for the most part they are fairly practical and see the whole Jesus, Heaven, God, Resurrection and Communion thing in allegorical terms rather than as 'Gospel' truth the way the the Micks* do.

Catholics believe in lots of nonsense which is usually packaged up in puerile wittering written by naive and unsophisticated nuns over the last few hundred years and embodied in the Catechism. In this there is 'instruction' to children to believe in fairy tales stories like:

• The Immaculate Conception.
• The Resurrection.
• Heaven.
• Hell.
• Purgatory.
• Baptism.
• Limbo.
• Confession.
• The Divine Presence - god (Jesus) being present in some stale wafers that nuns make).
• Stigmata.
• The use of cilices and flagrums to get closer to their god.
• Holy Relics.
• Ascension of Jesus.
• Assumption of Mary.
• Miracles.
• Indulgences.
• Sin.
• Papal infallibility.
• Bible stories - Adam and Eve, the Flood, the Commandments and a whole lot of other rubbish.
• Canonisation.
• Much, much more.

In addition to the Catechism and religious instruction that Catholics have received, the Catholic Church, via their propaganda agents priests instruct Catholics every week at Mass in the form of sermons. These instructions don't have to be based on fact, common sense or decency but are the talking points of the day and updates on what 'Mother' Church (the Vatican) is currently pushing. Examples are the furthering of archaic beliefs like:

• Women are inferior and cannot have important roles in the Catholic Church.
• LGBTQ people cannot become priests and - (see the view of women).
• Sex outside of Catholic Marriage is a sin.
• Sex except for procreation inside a Catholic Marriage is a sin.
• The use of contraception is a sin.
• Abortion is a sin.
• Much, much more.

Now Robert to be fair doesn't promulgate all of this stuff but - he does push quite a bit of it in his posts to the point where he appears to be "a silly man with a deranged mind".

I guess that that is all that I'm saying.

" You just didn't listen hard enough."

* 'Micks' - a term used for Catholics I remember (as I was educated in Catholic schools) along with 'left-footers', 'mackeral snappers', 'papists' and 'hey you!'.

INTERVIEW #14

The interviewer as you know by now is me, The Curmudgeon.


.

The interviewee is God aka The Big Slater.

Well then, let's get this interview underway.

Today we have The Big Slater in our studio* and, given all the religious and Christianity stuff going on at present (mostly stemming from Robert's blog) I thought it opportune to bring in The Big Slater since Richard, the writer of a little blog down south posed the question that the Big Slater might be God.

THE CURMUDGEON: Welcome The Big Slater to the Interview Series, the blog posts where  those who have been bypassed by other media have an opportunity to put their views forward.

THE BIG SLATER: Thanks The CURMUDGEON. It's an honour to have this recognition at last.

THE CURMUDGEON: (said trying to keep a straight face) I did note that Richard's Bass Bag made mention of you ...

THE BIG SLATER: Richard's Bass Bag? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ...

THE CURMUDGEON: .... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ... well, moving on.

THE BIG SLATER: Hey THE CURMUDGEON, can I just call you TC?

THE CURMUDGEON: Sure but what do I call you? I can't call you BS - that seems a bit disrespectful.

THE BIG SLATER: How about 'GOD'?

THE CURMUDGEON: Are you sure? OK then, the thunderstorms were here last week so I don't think I'll get struck down this week.

GOD: How's that?

TC: (trying it out) "GOD". Yes, that's good (see what I did there?)

GOD: No but, as you said, let's move on, I've got trees to chew.

TC: Is that some sort of biblical saying?

GOD: No, I've got trees to chew. I can't leave it all to my cousin the Kauri Snail.

TC: The Kauri Snail?

GOD: Yes. He's pretty rare (not pretty though) and chews the kauri near your place.

TC: Eeeew! Mind you GOD you don't look much better ha ha.

GOD: Keep your hat on TC. You don't look a million dollars yourself and I do mean that - keep your hat on.

TC: (sulking) Mean.

GOD: Ha ha - if that old bass guy thinks I'm god I might as well act like it. From what I've heard that Catholic/Christian god is a real mean and nasty bastard. He gives mankind wrong or contradictory information and when they stuff up he drowns or smites them

TC: Yeah. He/she/it's a prick allright. Hey, I just had a thought. Do you know this guy? It's not you in disguise is it?

GOD: Ha ha - Christian Slater. No, it's not me but I get that a lot.

TC: OK. Why did Richard of Richard's Bass Bag think you are god then?

GOD:  Well, he said in a post "Though God did supposedly say that He made us in His own image. Maybe God is a very big, perfect slater?" I like that he called me perfect but I would have liked God to have made me a bit bigger so I wouldn't get stepped on but then - if I am in God's image I guess I am God.

TC: Mmmm - a 'God' complex - An unshakable belief characterised by consistently inflated feelings of personal ability, privilege, or infallibility. 

Hey! I might be God myself ....

GOD: Steady on TC and remember what Robert answered.

TC: Robert?

GOD: Yes, Robert the sanctimonious apathetic sinner and toilet cleaner ...

TC: The what ...?

GOD: Yes, I know, but that's what he calls himself. He said "You forget the basic premise that any being to qualify as 'God' has to be outside of it's (sic) creation! A Slater can not create a slater, a lion can not create a lion and a human being can not create a human being. God can create us because he is non corporeal, and pure spirit.

TC: What the hell does that mean?

GOD: Buggered if I know but I'd take it easy claiming that you're God otherwise you'll get a lot of nonsense like that to interpret.

TC: Point taken. Moving on. Can we discuss....

GOD: Um, watch where you're walking there TC - please don't stand so close to me...

TC: I just wanted to ask ...

GOD: TC!

TC: What?

GOD: LOOK OUT! Watch where ....

TC: Oops! Sorry God. God? God? Are you allright God?

GOD: ...........................

TC:  Oh God!

GOD: ...........................

TC:  Oh well, at least Nietzsche will be pleased. We'd better wrap this interview up ...... has anyone got some paper towels?

* The studio is Lynn's office, my old study which I'm allowed to use until the 16th January.

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS

 Many years ago I used to make New Years' resolutions which, like most people's only lasted a few days or were never acted upon.

In this blogging community Richard usually resolves to do many thousands of hours practising his musical instruments. He starts of with a hiss and a roar, by mid-year is starting to worry if he can catch up and in the last quarter basically gives up.

"Only 1000 hours to go."

Robert I think, doesn't make any particular resolutions except for little promises to himself to say a few thousand prayers and responses, sometimes in Latin or Aramaic, that he's learned from his Big Book of Catholic Nutters. I wonder which hallucinating monk or insane nun he'll stumble on this year?

One of Saint Faustina Kowalska's erotic fantasies.

I doubt if I'll make any this year myself although I could commit to being more assertive - if that's allright with you guys.

EGGLESS IN GODZONE

“Behave like an old man and your body will function like an old man’s,”

― Aldous Huxley, Eyeless in Gaza

I was moved by the response to the latest Peter's Golf Bag post.

Obviously there are some Graham Gouldman fans out there - as there should be - the man is brilliant.

When I got back from golf, The Old Girl was waiting for the car as she wanted to go to the shops and was making a list. Having heard on the news of the egg shortage I told her "No eggs today" and then thought (again) of the Grahame Gouldman song.

No eggs today, the chickens just won't lay

The shelves are all quite bare, there just are no eggs there

No eggs today, I know it's not quite right

But that's the way it is, we're all in this plight.

How did I know, this awful information?

I heard it on the news - National Radio station

What does it mean, for breakfasts in the nation?

I'd check out the ducks, without any hesitation.

No eggs today ...

NEW POST - PETER'S GOLF BAG

 

A NEAR MISS

IT'S SAD REALLY

 Richard didn't know what a mook was and when I tried to educate him via a specially dedicated post this is what he commented:

Robert was banging on about how guardian angels help him after he's done something silly and put his and his family's life in danger and, when I pointed out that a good guardian angel would have stopped him doing that silly thing BEFORE he did it, this is what he commented:

These things happened over the last couple of days and, I'm sad to say, are quite typical of how my informative and helpful posts have been received over the last year. It's the 26th of December today, Boxing Day - the  anniversary of the Boxer Rebellion, the anti-foreign, anti-colonial and anti-Christian uprising in China between 1899 and 1901 by the Society of Righteous and Harmonious Fists, known as the "Boxers" - and there are only a few days left in the year 2022.

I have tried, through my informative and helpful posts to bring a little culture, a bit of decency and a lot of open-mindedness to a closed-minded Catholic and a pedantic old schoolteacher and frankly* it seems to have been all in vain. I think that I will have to give some thought to my approach to blogging in 2023.

* Neither of them is named Frank

NEW POST - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

 Well, it is Christmas.

THANK GOD FOR THAT!

GIVING UP HEAD BANGING

You might recall that I've mentioned having to crawl under the house on occasion to fix plumbing or wiring problems.

Our basement starts off at a reasonable head height but progressively gets lower and more cramped as I have to move to the furthest reaches. Standing becomes hunching, then kneeling, then crawling and, at worst, slithering on back or front. That odd photograph of me that Richard likes to use in his posts is of me on my back, in a very cramped position trying to plug a leak in a downpipe.

Here's another one, previously unpublished of me at another (roomier) point that is equally odd.

The strained expression is due to having to reach up, from a very cramped position to use  pliers, spanners or other tools on the particular problem. Anyone who knows what it's like painting a ceiling will know that after a while your arms get sore and begin to shake.

Anyway.

The low head height and myriad beams mean that I'm forever banging my head which isn't as well upholstered as it once was and I end up bruising, cutting and dizzying myself which is why I wear those old caps when I go under the house. The caps though don't offer much protection when I walk full on into a beam or if a beam has a protruding nail. Note to self: I really should carry a hammer and see to those protruding nails.

Today I went under the house again to check to see whether the water that's trickling down the drive and emanating from under the house is a result of run-off from the heavy rain we've had or from yet another water leak from the plumbing. I posted earlier about run-off problems from the farmland behind us and that I will have to get a drain layer in to install drainage: HERE. It is run-off and I must prioritise this job in the new year and yes, I bashed my head on a beam.

After doing this I  was looking for a bit of hosepipe for another job and looked under the shed. There I saw a hard hat. I don't know where it came from or who it belongs to and I guess that it's been there ever since we bought the place 13 years ago. I got a garden hoe and hooked it out. Beauty. This will solve the head banging problem.

WHAT'S A MOOK?

 

IDIOMATICNESS OR IDIOCY?

 Even Christmas isn't safe from A pedantic old schoolteacher's obsession with grammar and punctuation.

The very first thing in Richard's Christmas morning post was this:

Oh well, if you can't beat them, join them.

.

**BREAKING NEWS**

 

The Royal Curmudgeon (maybe pending).

As regular readers of this blog will know The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ does not have a Royal Curmudgeon (yet) so The Curmudgeon will cover this story.

Just to hand we have a transcript of the inaugural King's Christmas message where King Charles spaniel will address the billions millions thousands of loyal supporters around the world.

On behalf of my husband and I sorry  ..... on behalf of my mistress and I .... sorry, it's damnably hard to get my head around this .... on behalf of my wife and I - Happy Christmas.

Ninety years ago my great grandfather broadcast the first of these Christmas messages. Today is another landmark because, after a short period of a woman reigning all over you, you've got a king again - me, or us as we say in my (our) circles. Me - that's Charles - King Charles , not the spaniel ha ha .....

.... erm ...

Mummy said ...... The Queen ... the previous one - Queen Elizabeth said to start off the Christmas message with a review not merely of the world, Commonwealth and national events of this year just ending, but to refer to our family and all the good work we do. Well ...... um ..... dad died last year and ..... mum died this year and ...

..... moving on.

It is inevitable that I should seem a rather remote figure to many of you. A successor to the Kings and Queens of history; someone whose face may be familiar in newspapers and films but who never really touches your personal lives - unless you watch that execrable television show whose name one must not mention but now at least for a few minutes I welcome you to the peace of my own home that mum gave to me.

Some of you see me today as just another example of the speed at which things are changing all around us. That's understandable if you've been living under a rock for fifty years but I remind you that Mummy lived to a very ripe old age and was your queen for what seemed like forever. It's not as if I'm a spring chicken. I do recognise however that because of these changes I am not surprised that many people feel lost and unable to decide what to hold on to and what to discard. How to take advantage of the new life without losing the best of the old - particularly me.

Some people would have religion thrown aside, morality in personal and public life made meaningless, honesty counted as foolishness and self-interest set up in place of self-restraint. That is a very dangerous position to take - particularly against me and my family (or some of them). If people were to throw away religion, tradition and institutions they might get carried away and throw away the Monarchy. Awful.

At this critical moment in our history we will certainly lose the trust and respect of the world if we just abandon those fundamental principles which guided the men and women who built the greatness of this country and Commonwealth.  You will understand if I don't include Andrew, Diana and Harry in the list.

Today we need a special kind of courage, not the kind needed in battle but a kind which makes us stand up for everything that we own - and I mean the royal 'we' there. I want you to know that many people (Harry and Andrew included) are trying to get their mitts on my (our) stuff and we - and I include all of you, my subjects in that - need to prevent them from doing so. We must stand by what we know is right, everything that is true and honest which certainly doesn't include that television programme that cannot be named and not that Netflix documentary either. We need to stand up against the subtle corruption of the cynics so that we can show the world that we are not afraid of the future.

It has always been easy to hate and destroy. To build and to cherish is much more difficult. That is why we can take a pride in the new Commonwealth we are building. I don't yet know what we are building but am sure that after the antipodean countries leave us that we can find some new and exciting ones. Russia springs to mind as next year Vlad may be interested in an alliance with us (and I mean all of you). Russian oligarch's own all of the best British football teams, artwork and real estate anyway so no change there then.

In the old days the monarch led his soldiers on the battlefield and his leadership at all times was close and personal. We tried to get rid of Andrew this way when we sent him to the Falklands but didn't have much success. Harry too, came back from Afghanistan unscathed even though his red hair (a legacy of that damned father of his) should have made a bloody good target.

Today things are very different. I cannot lead you into battle, I do not give you laws or administer justice but I can do something else, I can give you my heart and my devotion to these old islands and to all the peoples of our brotherhood of nations. I have some deucedly good ideas on vegan food production and have been told that I do a cracker Goons's impersonation of Bluebottle.*

I hope that 2023 may bring you God's blessing and all the things you long for. Well, not all of them obviously, let's be reasonable but - have a jolly good one.

* 

NEW POST - THE NOSTALGIC CURMUDGEON

 

LIFE'S EVENTS

"BUT YOU CAN'T SEE VERY CLEARLY, WHEN YOU'RE IN FLIGHT ..."

 Richard's climbing the social ladder apparently.

See:HERE

Well good luck with that I say.

He needs to listen to this song again more closely:

MY DUSTBIN'S FULL OF LILIES!

How do you know they are lilies?

Because Lilly's wearing them.

Those old Lonnie Donegan songs were great weren't they? They inspired the Beatles don't you know?

*****************

I bought a few stems of Christmas lilies the other day - two lots at $17 each, damned expensive - and the flowers are opening up now.

They've been unavailable for quite a while now, maybe related to Covid out of stocks with only the cheaper, and not as aromatic Asian lilies having been available. I must admit that these ones aren't as nice smelling as they used to be but then, neither am I probably.

We don't 'do' Christmas trees in our house, unlike Robert the sanctimonious sinner toilet cleaner and environmental bandit and Richard of Richard's lack of taste plastic bag.

From Robert's long-titled blog

"Shelley guessed what 'diario' was when she saw it under our little tree which is made of plastic."

          -From Richards' Bass Bag (mercifully with no image).

The lilies should be in full bloom by Christmas day when The Old Girl and I will sit at the dining table and have our non-traditional Christmas feast. We learned from Richard and Shelley years ago to buy plastic Christmas trees to add to the world's  environmental problems - sorry - to cook and prepare dishes more in tune with a Summer season like salads, pasta and light options rather than roast meats and winter vegetables with heavy gravies and sauces. This year (again) we will be enjoying a salmon and goat cheese quiche followed by a seasonal fruit and custard flan.

That's it. Sorry but it's hot and humid and I have to prepare my dinner which, in the fashion of Robert the sanctim .... you know the rest, I'll tell you is chicken salad made with sliced, marinated and sautéed chicken tenderloins, rocket and baby spinach leaves, diced cooked potato, cherry tomatoes, sliced capsicum, Feta cheese, olives and some other bits and pieces, sliced boiled egg and a simple dressing made from red wine vinegar, olive oil and balsamic vinegar (just a tablespoon).*

* This post was brought to you with the assistance of Vidal's Hawkes Bay Reserve Rose 2022.

JUST TAKE A PREBBLE AND CAST HIM IN THE SEA ....

Ricard Prebble, that former hopeless Labour Minister and then leader of the useless ACT Party is past his use-by date. The silly bugger looks to attack the Labour Government at any opportunity and now is blaming ram raids on the cost of cigarettes. See: PREBBLE'S DRIBBLE
In his dribble he likens the government tax and planned restricted sales of cigarettes and tobacco to alcohol Prohibition in the USA

"The cost of cigarettes has triggered a crime wave.
The excessive excise duty on cigarettes is taxing the poor. In households I know where the children do not always get breakfast every one of the adults are smokers. Addicts feed their addiction first.
Reducing the price of cigarettes would reduce child poverty. Tax cigarettes so they are not cheap but not so expensive they are worth robbing for.
Reducing the tax would end ram raids."

This is very simplistic thinking and it's like saying  the cost of gold and diamond jewellery is causing heists and robberies. That is being mealy mouthed instead of denouncing the crimes and the actual criminals. I'm getting sick of all the excuses put up for bad and criminal behaviour - "he had a hard upbringing" and "they just wanted some things for their kiddies for Christmas." Fuck it! I'm over it.

TRANSPARENCY*

 * Transparency:

Transparency implies openness, communication, and accountability.

I talked earlier about a 'heads up' for a post I was going to write demonstrating my new Christmas underpants but the miserable readers of this blog showed no interest. Rude. I won't be writing that post now so you'll all just have to go begging and wonder about how I look in the seasonal duds.

Instead, being of a generous nature I'll give you a 'heads up' on my Trade Me listing of a transparent kayak.

TRANSPARENT KAYAK

This listing finishes on Thursday - JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS. The more discerning buyer would recognise the opportunity here of solving the 'what am I going to buy the family for Christmas?" question and jump straight in.

Here are some pics of the kayak:

Remember - you heard it here first on The Curmudgeon's blog.*

* Other than on Trade Me of course and maybe a few people look at that website.

HEADS (OR MAYBE BOTTOMS) UP!

 

It seems that everyone is busy with it being Christmas week. Richard for example gives warnings of his new posts and likes to receive alerts of others' pending posts so that he can factor some time in to read them.

I'm just heading off into town to do the final Christmas supermarket shop. I've left it to reasonably the last minute for things like vegetables and cream products. I don't want to leave it any later because it will be like bedlam in the shops from tomorrow on.

Anyway, I just want to give you a heads up that I will be posting on and modelling my Christmas underwear on the blog later this afternoon if you want to book some time in to read and view this.

Thank you for your time.

MEA CULPA*

* For those who weren't in the 'P' classes this means "I'm sorry".

Look, I know that I was critical of Richard's Bass Bag's reintroduction of Richards Bass Bag 2 and Richard's Bass Bag 3 blogs but this was before the innovation that he's introduced where he alerts readers of looming posts:

I found this to be very helpful and I kept my fingers well away from the button that might otherwise have clicked onto the RBB2 blog.

Thank you Richard.

MAD DOGS AND ENGLISHMEN*

 * I'm not either but I did go out in the midday sun today.

The forecast this week is for rain, thunderstorms and more rain but yesterday was glorious (I played golf in the late afternoon) and today is a real cracker. I was tired after watching the World Cup football final at 4AM so didn't go out for a walk until 11.30. I should have gone out very early after the football match had ended.

Anyway, the walk was good and I kept to the shady track most of the way.

I stopped at 'Epiphany Beach'** for a while and took some photographs. I just missed photographing a very large fish which leapt out of the water.

Around the bay the pohutukawa are flowering. This one has deep red flowers that are attracting the bees.

At the top just right of centre is my favourite tree that stands by the seat at the highest point of the track where I was heading to ....

....... here.

Me (showing where I burnt my lower lip eating hot corn on the cob last night)

I hope that you are all having a nice day as well.

** 'Epiphany Beach' named by The Old Girl when she sat here 14 years ago and came up with the idea of us selling up and moving.

NEW POST - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

 

SORRY

SELF DEFENCE

"Well, that was a bit pointless" said some old whinger in a comment on the previous post.

Maybe he wants a poke in the eye with a pointed stick.

SODDEN BALLS AND SOGGY BOTTOMS

 Watching FIFA World Cup football I'm intrigued at how far the players can kick the ball and at how good the balls are nowadays.

The same goes for rugby balls.

Gone are the days of heavy, permeable leather balls that go soft in the wet and become slimy.

In the old days, my days, soccer balls, when wet weighed 'a ton' and were hard to kick and manoeuvre. Rugby balls were also hard to kick and with the slime on the wet leather were hard to catch and hold.

 I was interested to know whether the old (dry) balls weighed any more than the modern (dry) balls and found this:

"It is a myth that the modern ball is lighter than the balls used in the past.

Since 1937, the dry weight of the ball has been specified by Law 2: 14-16oz. Prior to that, the rules governing the ball’s dry weight specified something lighter – 13-15oz.

This goes for the new ball used in 2010 just as much as it did for the 1966 ball. Whenever you read a comment along the lines of “I’d like to see modern players heading the leather pudding the ’66 boys had to put up with” you can assume that they don’t know what they’re talking about.

What has changed are (1) the material from which the ball is made, and thus the ability of the ball to avoid weight gain during the game through water absorption, and (2) the aerodynamics of the ball i.e. the smoothness of the surface.

The new ball isn’t lighter in of itself – which is what people seem to be assuming: but the new ball won’t get so wet in play. So in the broad sunshine of the ’66 World Cup Final, the famous orange balls were the same weight as the ones we see today. And so it has been on every dry day, on every dry pitch, since the balls were first standardized in the early 1870s."

          - James Hamilton on Sport History and Psychology

OK, that makes sense but what has also changed, even down to the basic club and school level, is the quality of playing fields nowadays with proper  construction, drainage and maintenance. Players usually don't have to play in the quagmires we did where the brown balls were hard to find in the brown mud.

Back in the day, when trying to 'head' a sodden soccer ball you were just as likely to knock yourself out or get a dislocated neck. How different things might have been if we had the 'waterproofed' balls that today's players use.