INTERVIEW #13

 I know that I said that the previous interview, Interview # 12 was to be the final interview this year but the interviewee, on reading the transcript OF WHAT HE SAID has spit the dummy and is being, quite frankly (his name is Richard) unappreciative.

At the last minute and with considerable effort we at The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ have secured an interview with another person who gets bad press and is in need of a little ego boosting. Let's hope that this guy doesn't turn out to be as churlish as the last one.

The interviewer as you know by now is me, The Curmudgeon.

The interviewee is David Seymour from the NZ ACT Party.

THE CURMUDGEON: Welcome DAVID SEYMOUR FROM THE NZ ACT PARTY, it's nice of you to drop everything to come in for this interview.

DAVID SEYMOUR FROM THE NZ ACT PARTY: No problem THE CURMUDGEON, I've got nothing better to do. I'm a non-government politician. Truly, I've got nothing better to do.

THE CURMUDGEON: Ah, OK DAVID SEYMOUR FROM THE NZ ACT PARTY, can I start off by ...

DAVID SEYMOUR FROM THE NZ ACT PARTY: Umm, THE CURMUDGEON, can we drop the formality and you call me just DAVID SEYMOUR?

THE CURMUDGEON: Yes, sure, and you can just call me TC. So, is it true?

DAVID SEYMOUR: What? That Jacinda Ardern called me an arrogant prick?

TC: No. Is it true that you can see more?

DAVID SEYMOUR: Ha ha TC, that's a good one although I went through all of my school years being called that by stupid classmates. Little did they know that one day it'd come true and I'd be heading up a progressive political party with far reaching and far-seeing objectives. I ...

TC: (Sotto voce "Arrogant prick) ....

DAVID SEYMOUR: What's that?

TC: I said "they need a kick". Cheeky little bastards.

DAVID SEYMOUR: Yes, sometimes they called me smelly britches and one girl always kept saying to me "I'll tell your mother". Frankly I'm pleased to have all that behind me now.

TC: It's TC, not Frank but .... moving on. It is true then?

DAVID SEYMOUR: That they called me 'See More'? I just told ....

TC: No. That our Jacinda called you an arrogant prick.

DAVID SEYMOUR: (Sotto voce "That sanctimonious bitch").

TC: What's that DAVID SEYMOUR?

DAVID SEYMOUR: I said "Across the ditch" Across the ditch people don't get upset at language like that. They are all larrikins anyway so squabbles in the House are de rigueur. I accepted Ms Ardern's apology, heartfelt or otherwise as being leader of a progressive political party with far reaching and far-seeing objectives I'm above all that. I ..

TC: (Sotto voce "Arrogant prick) ....

DAVID SEYMOUR: Mmmm .... um let's ...

TC: So why did she call you an arrogant prick then DAVID SEYMOUR?

DAVID SEYMOUR: Apparently Ms Ardern got a bit upset when I asked her to give an example where she’d made a mistake, admitted it, apologised and fixed it.

TC: Well DAVID SYM...... hey, can I just call you David? I'm tired off all this DAVID SEYMOUR shit.

DAVID SEYMOUR: Sure, David's good.

TC: OK Davey ...

DAVID SEYMOUR: David

TC: OK David, let's move on from that now that we've established that you're an arrogant prick and that you were even conceited back in your schooldays and deservedly got ribbed by your fellow students over your name.....

DAVID : Hey that's n.....

TC:  .. and that leaving school you, in your hubris decided to go to Canada to work in their political system before returning and, at a very young age, inveigle yourself into New Zealand politics by siding with a reactionary, right wing party that's even more out of touch with the average New Zealander than the National Party is and....

DAVID : Hey, that's n.....

TC:  ..... and now  you say that you've embraced libertarian social policies since you became party leader, such as supporting the legalisation of euthanasia, and you even introduced a bill on this issue along with supporting LGBQT and abortion rights but how do you reconcile your pro-gun views and criticism of the governments gun control legislation following the Christchurch mosque shootings - in fact you were the only member of parliament who voted against it.

DAVID: Yes, but ,,,,

TC: You were against the 2019 Zero Carbon Amendment and have sought to downplay the governments policies on handling the Covid pandemic by advocating a harm minimisation strategy rather than an elimination strategy - oh boy! And I see that you get the support of the top half a percent of the wealth holders (not wealth generators) in this country and in particular the Epsom voters think that you're the bees knees. You ....

DAVID: TC! TC! TC! TC!

TC: What?

DAVID: Who do you vote for TC?

TC: I vote Labour. I've always voted Labour except for that one time that I voted for the Wellington Values Party but that' was because I  saw a need in this country for people to embrace social and environmental issues along with economic ones. The Values Party preceded the Greens and ...

DAVID: You're an arrogant prick! 

Leaves the interview 

TC: Well ...... that was rude.

(Interview ends.)