INTERVIEW # 12

 

Today we will interview Richard of Richard's bass Bag which he claims to be the original bass bagging site. Well, we have no way of verifying that claim as to do a Google search on 'bass bagging' would probably be a waste of time and if anyone else had created such a site they no doubt will have been committed to an asylum or arrested by now.

Moving on.

This is Interview # 12 which coincidentally matches the twelfth month of the year. 

The interviewer as you know by now is me, The Curmudgeon:

  The interviewee is Richard of Richard's Bass Bag:

THE CURMUDGEON: Welcome again Richard to The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ interview series.

RICHARD of Richard's Bass Bag: Yes, thanks ... look, I hope that you'll follow Jacinda's example this time.

THE CURMUDGEON: What? And call you an arrogant prick?

RICHARD of Richard's Bass Bag: Ha ha, no, I mean that I hope that you'll be nice.

THE CURMUDGEON: Nice? It seems that your etymological skills are as poor as your entomological skills.

RICHARD of Richard's Bass Bag: Whaaa..?

THE CURMUDGEON: 'Nice' isn't to be found in the definition of a curmudgeon.

RICHARD of Richard's Bass Bag: Oh, fair cop (thinking 'wasp')

THE CURMUDGEON: Look, before we move on, and I'm the one doing all this bloody typing, can we just simplify our IDs to TC and RICHARD?

RICHARD of Richard's Bass Bag: OK "riempiti gli stivali".

TC: Whaa?

RICHARD: It's an old Italian saying - '... the roof that leaks is better than eating an ice-cream on a sunny day"

TC: Well I think you should tell that old Italian to shut the fuck up! Moving on...

RICHARD: Sheesh.

TC: Don't start with my 'sheeshes' matey. You've shown by your recent posts how you've run out of ideas and are parallel universing my posts. 

RICHARD: Shoosh!

TC: OK, you can have that one, derivative and unfunny as it may be. Can we move on with this interview?

RICHARD: Fine by me "riempiti gli ...." no, better not.

TC: Thank Robert's God for that. Look why are you so annoying? Were you always like this?

RICHARD: Well you should know TC, remember when ...

TC: (thinking) ..... Yes, I remember when I was sitting in the uni cafe with Rachel from my Constitutional Law class - 1973 I think - and you came along and sat at the table to 'help'. I have to say - it didn't help.

RICHARD: Hee hee - yes, that was probably me ....

TC: And I remember you asking me to create posters under the White Sport Coat and Pink Carnation Society name so that you could put them up on university noticeboards. They were racist, obscene and objectionable ...

RICHARD: Yes but I couldn't draw I ....

TC: And I remember you inviting me to visit you in Taumarunui and having to suffer the indignity of being evicted from a Cosmopolitan Club. A bloody Cosmopolitan Club! Me, who would later go on to be a member of The Auckland Club and a frequent guest at The Wellington Club and reciprocal member guest at a couple of swanky London Clubs. Sheesh!

RICHARD: So it's all about you then?

TC: Whaa?

RICHARD: I thought that this interview was about me?

TC: Sh .... Ok, OK, let;'s start again  (thinking "We've established that he's annoying"). Looking back on the last year what do you think your greatest achievement has been in 2022 and we know it wasn't mastering entomology.

RICHARD: (under his breath or, for 3P students, sotto voce "arrogant prick"). Back in April I introduced CYNICAL JESUS  to you all. Remember that?

TC: Yeah - fleeting. How did that work out for you?

RICHARD: OK, I admit that he was a one-hit wonder ...

TC: Like Thunderclap Newman, Norman Greenbaum and Billie Paul?

RICHARD: I like all of those songs particularly 'Spirit in the Sky". That one gets Robert going and it makes me smile that he doesn't know that old Norman is singing about a Jewish god and heaven.

TC: Yes, yes, yes as Robert would say*, but, Cynical Jesus creation, brief as it might have been was the highlight of your year?

RICHARD: Well, it's been a tough year and all - you know the things that happened TC.

TC: Yes, I know, take care but ...

RICHARD: But?

TC: But remember, you're going to be a grandad.

RICHARD: That's right. That makes this a damned good year and next year will be even better.

TC: Well done Pops.

RICHARD: Surely they won't call me 'Pops' will they?

TC: Well better than Shirley I guess.

RICHARD: Harumph.

TC: Better than 'shoosh' I suppose. Look, we've run out of time so will have to warp this interview up now. Goodbye.

RICHARD: (Thinking - "Bit rude").

* It's necessary to throw Robert's name in a few times so that it keeps him interested and reading.