THE CURMUDGEON'S MEETING SERVICE - MEETING #2

 Hello readers. After the success of The Curmudgeon's Meeting Service #1 where we brokered a get-together between Robert the apathetic and sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner (boy does that guy need to change his name) and his once upon a time pal Trent Horn and got them talking again and which gained a phenomenal eight comments, it's opportune to bring you The Curmudgeon's Meeting Service #2.

I must admit that this meeting was inspired by Richard of RBB who brought an interesting snippet from Greek mythology to me that I'd forgotten about. It was easy for Richard to remember as 'it's all Greek to him'.* The snippet was that Zeus swallowed his first wife Metis whole so that she would be unable to give birth to a son who might usurp Zeus. Needless to say, things didn't go well for this married couple. I wonder if it happened on a 'date night'? Anyway, I thought that The Curmudgeon's Meeting Service might help to smooth things over between them.

Zeus

Metis

THE CURMUDGEON: Welcome Zeus and Metis. Am I right in assuming that this is the first time that you two have got together since .... well, since that unfortunate episode where, um ...

METIS: .... Where that bastard ate me you mean?

THE CURMUDGEON: Well, um, yes but ...

ZEUS: Come on Metis. It was a long time ago. Let it go Metis....

METIS: ... Yeah right. Let it go like the way you shit me out  later after digesting me you mean?

ZEUS: Shoosh!

METIS: Don't shush me Matey.

THE CURMUDGEON: He said 'shoosh' Metis not 'shush'. It's just one of those silly things that Richard of Richard's Bass bag made up. He ...

ZEUS: Richard of Richard's Bass? What the hades is that? Sounds like some damned leather-goods store.

METIS: You could take me there Zeus and buy me a handbag. That's the least you could do after ...

THE CURMUDGEON: ..... No, no, ....  Richard's Bass  bag is a...um ... a bass bagging site where ....er....where ....yes, he makes and sells bags. I'll give you the address. Can we move on now? 

ZEUS: Move on? That's what I've been trying to do since the year dot. It hasn't been easy on me you know.

METIS: Oh, so it's all about you you narcissistic bastard ...

ZEUS: No, that was someone else. He came from Thespiae. Fancied himself I'm told but he was a good looking bastard.

METIS: Never mind. You got your comeuppance later anyway.

THE CURMUDGEON: You mean when Hephaestus cleaved Zeus's head open and  Athena was born anyway? 

ZEUS: Yeah - I still get bloody headaches not to mention the guts ache I got from eating that tough old sow there ...

METIS: Prick bastard!

THE CURMUDGEON: Guys, guys, bring it down a notch - there could be schoolkids reading this.

ZEUS: Yeah but not that many. Only the ones from the 'P' classes..

METIS: Ha ha  - that's a good one Zeus. You're right those 'G', 'C', 'M' and 'R' class students wouldn't understand anyway...

ZEUS and METIS: (together) It's all Greek to them ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha .

THE CURMUDGEON: Well it's good seeing you two having a laugh. What's next?

ZEUS: Oh, we might head off for a bite to .... sorry Metti darling ... for a meal somewhere and a few bottles of Retsina.

METIS: Let's make it a vegetarian restaurant Zeussy ...

ZEUS and METIS: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Zeus and Metis head off arm in arm.

THE CURMUDGEON: Well that wraps up another successful meeting. I've got to look to my own meal now - the other half of that bacon and egg pie I think with some mashed potatoes washed down with a glass of Stoneleigh Rose. See you all.

*This expression was coined by Shakespeare, who used it literally in Julius Caesar (1:2), where Casca says of a speech by Seneca, deliberately given in Greek so that some would not understand it, “For mine own part, it was Greek to me.” It soon was transferred to anything unintelligible.