As you know, in this series we interview maligned people who perhaps haven't had a chance to put forward their side of the story.
In interview number 21 we have Antonio Salieri with us because he is also an August birthday boy, born on the 18th August 1750 and because in many ways he's been vilified in literature, documentaries and film and, being a Leo myself I don't think that is fair.
SALIERI: Ah daod giorno sono contento di essere qui TC. I noticed that music but it doesn't really bother me as, contrary to popular opinion, I wrote it and Falco has just 'borrowed' the tune.
THE CURMUDGEON: Mmmm - OK .... talking of appropriation then, that cantata you supposedly co-composed with Mozart, 'Per la ricuperata salute di Ophelia' ....
SALIERI: . ...Pfft! Stronzo la piano Un cenno è buono come un occhiolino per un cieco, la vita è una malattia mortale a trasmissione sessuale.! Zeush!
THE CURMUDGEON: Umm - I take it that you feel strongly about this?
SALIERI: Si TC. That little kraut only contributed the punctuation marks in that music and then it was all fottuto with der punkt und der doppelpunkt in der wrong bloody places.
THE CURMUDGEON: Right .. we'll leave that there. I had heard that you and Mozart didn't exactly see eye to ey ...
SALIERI: .. Ha ha ... maybe if I got down on my knees I could look the little 'punkt' in the eye ha ha..
THE CURMUDGEON: Mmm, quite. Look Antonio, I don't want to get you all riled up again but around here, like in these modern times and all there's a syndrome called Salieri Syndrome. It comes in the form of a friendly co-worker or someone in a position of influence, while appearing to help you, they are actually subverting your success.
SALIERI: Basta! i pianoforti hanno bevuto!
THE CURMUDGEON: Whaa?
SALIERI: Little prick bastard or maybe his poppa said that. If he wasn't dead I'd kill him I ...
THE CURMUDGEON: .... Well, talking of killing him Antonio I regret to say that popular opinion say's that you did just that.
SALIERI: What"? Kill who?
THE CURMUDGEON: Killed - or rather poisoned Mozart because you were jealous of him.
SALIERI: I never heard that and I never bloody did it either. Stronzo! Piano! Babbo m'avete chiamato!
THE CURMUDGEON: Well, it all came out after you and Mozart had died. There was
Gossip that you hated Mozart and tried to poison him. Even though you mourned him at his funeral you were linked with ugly accusations that you had caused his demise.
SALIERI: OK, but that's just par for the course with famous people like me though.
THE CURMUDGEON: In 1824, attendees of a performance of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony were handed anonymous leaflets that described you forcing Mozart to drink from a poisoned cup, and the rumour was so deliciously suggestive that it inspired a dramatic dialogue from Pushkin which was later turned into an opera. The film Amadeus, which was adapted from a stage play by Peer Shaffer, carried the rumour into the present day.
SALIERI: Idiots. I suppose they teach that rubbish at music colleges.
THE CURMUDGEON: Well, yes they do or rather did as the tertiary music schools in New Zealand will soon be closed ...
SALIERI: . ... Closed! Why piano?
THE CURMUDGEON: Huh? Oh, they've been in decline since the 1970s. I know someone who studied at one of them and get this - he studied Penderecki!
SALIERI: Ha ha. Penderecki! I'd rather listen to a crusher at a wrecker's yard. Mind you, I did like the soundtrack of The Shining though
THE CURMUDGEON: Yes, me too:
SALIERI: So what else do you want to throw at me TC? Don't you think I've suffered enough. Piano!
THE CURMUDGEON: I guess to be fair I should mention that recent thinking is that the rivalry between you and Mozart shows that he was more jealous of you, rather than the other way around. Wolfgang and his dad Leopold complained of “cabals” of Italian court composers attempting to thwart his career, singling out you. Mozart and his father may of course have been looking for a scapegoat to explain why he wasn’t as successful as he had hoped in his career.
SALIERI: Thanks TC, that means a piano lot to me.
THE CURMUDGEON: No problem Antonio. Take it easy.
SALIERI: IL BUON GIORNO SI VEDE DAL MATTINO!
THE CURMUDGEON: OK, get somer rest now.
Well, that concludes that. I'm glad that he's gone though as he was a pompous twit. I'm buggered if I can recall any music the old fart wrote. I think I'll listen to some more Penderecki:
7 comments:
Good to see you borrowing my Italian phrases.
Piano?
Cosa? La mamma degli imbecilli è sempre incinta!
Sorry I don't speak Albanian.
And you were in 3P in 1966! Madre di Dio! È Italiano!
For the record, 'piano' has quite a few different meanings.
One being the level (floor) in a building.
I heard that Jesus and Christianity was invented by the Romans kind of like Churchill’s ‘Bodyguard of Lies’.
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